scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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8.5- Today was an amazing day for my business. A large bird company in Canada (they have a place in Washington state {where I live} that we send the order to and they send it to Canada so no worries about international sales) wants my stuff and placed the biggest single order in our business's history. I am talking about a $500 + order. We never had that before, but I am a little down because my dad wants to retire and forget about his high paying job at Intel and focus on the business. This means moving to a dinky house or apartment or worse, not having anything we want, not being able to eat good food, not being able to go on vacation EVER again, there would be nothing good that comes out of it. If he does this before the business can support our current lifestyle, I will kill myself. I WILL NOT LIVE IN POVERTY!! !! ! My dad doesn't seem to care about my feelings toward this. I know being in Dog Fancy and other magazines will help but would it make it where he can retire and we make the same kind of money if not more? I know a lot of people said that my business has so much potential that it is unbelievable. I probably mentioned that a million times. One person said we will make maybe in the next 5 years, over a million dollars a year and within 2 years maybe around $100,000 a year. My business has the world's largest selection of animal images on items. I am talking about 300 designs. That number grows by the week. By the end of the year I hope to get that number to 400. Zoos would want my stuff, pet stores, vets, and any animal related place around the country and when we do international sales, around the world. We are truly a unique business and with my disability, it makes it even better. So if dad retires say in a year and we are not making the type of money everyone is expecting I WILL DIE!! !

5 Not bad but not well

4

Alright. My brother is coming later.

+3

The Simpsons comes on later tonight, and I had a nice weekend with my family.

4 Feeling nostaligic today with memories now gone forever from loss. I've never been so upset with death since this happened.

-2, I've had a real bad tooth ache today and yesterday, it was only a week ago that I was real sick, I've been unable to focus on my goals as of lately.

5 minus the high blood pressure reading but add a 4 for not having to do so much today.

Typical Sunday, I'm about a 4.

-1 to 1
i had a smallish meltdown (read: crying fit) but I'm stable again

5

Had a good visit with my brother. And I have also decided start taking anti-depressants for my anxiety.

That was an hour ago, suddenly I've become a little down. I don't know if I can wait another three weeks to see my psychologist.

-5.

Still pathetic!

4 Off to a good start. Maybe today won't be too bad for a Monday.

6

I have...... hope.

9 I feel really good right now. I ate dinner, and i'm listening to the sounds of a stupid video game.

What game?

-2 Uugnuuts...very frustrated with my computer. Every time I try to send an email or post something it decides a few seconds later that it is time to restart. it has been at this for the last few days. I hit it a few times.

well, I suppose I will be back in a few minutes. Shut down in 10...9...8...7...