scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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+3.5 Yet another boring day. I wish I had more to say about it, but I really don't.

-.2 for every time I have been told in my life I'm "too negative" or "too sensitive" and then finding myself unable to openly talk to the person who said that, without overanalyzing its "negativity content"...and thus experiencing another friendship unravel right before my eyes just as I am beginning to trust it.
I'd say this has happened about 12 times in my life so far, so, -2.4.

Plus - 3 for not being able to get to sleep.

-5.4, really.

5

Doing well. f****n virus I got from the college campus disabled my internet for a few days but I'm back now!

I still have a virus myself.





4.5 - Today is just an average ordinary day.

Somewhere in between 0 and -5.
Every so often, I get hit with how utterly fed up I am with everything.
I am fed up with exhausting myself by working with people. I am fed up with being stuck at home and living off my parents. I am fed up with the fact that every time I go out, it hurts. I am fed up with having to seem more-than-human to my students despite so often being exhausted and in pain so much of the time. I am fed up with having to fight my brain to achieve the slightest little thing. I am fed up with the fact that even getting one productive thing done in a day is a huge achievement for me. I am fed up with struggling. I am fed up with everything.

(And, having typed that, and having got it out of my head, I now actually feel slightly better.)

Last couple of days I had a headache. Still a bit on the left side. Yesterday my left ear started bugged again and now my left jaw is hurting. Man, am I falling apart or something?

But, Neil Young sang once; 'don't let it bring you down, it's only....'. And the implication thereof I tend to follow (a bit), so the mood cypher could be.... +2.40897362 (Approximately )

^Maybe an abscessed tooth?




+4 Boring day, but at least I ate good. Also, my hangover wasn't too bad, so I can't complain..........much.

^
I don't know but I doubt it. I obsessively clean my teeth. Probably multi factors added up, like riding on my bike through the cold rain, maybe this stupid chewing stim I have sometimes, some stress and ????. Today (Sunday) it's quite a bit better. Thanks.

Mood cypher today, at the moment, erm....

erm....

ummm....

+3.5

^
erminea, I'd like to know how can you feel "x.413951"

^


Don't know what to say.... only.... yeah.... how does one put a cypher to the mood one's in?

But....

I have this philosophy, I call it 'soitism' and it says basically; I, myself determines how I feel and my wish is not to be unhappy.... so I try to be moderately happy which of course isn't always the case but no more depression for this boy. Sometimes an off day, here and there. I accept.

Sorry to go into it so seriously, CL but it's a good philosophy.

Btw, it's 4.8751234 at the mome. Thinking about it maybe a little less 'cos I have to repair my bike.

So, I settle for 3. 97535326 (nice random number tab hitting to answer your question maybe)

Last edited by Erminea on 17 Feb 2009, 5:53 am, edited 2 times in total.

-9

having flashbacks of times I've been hurt by people I was close to

+4.5 Today turned out to be OK.

-10 because my mom had stupid back surgery and she's in a bad mood because of the pain and is taking it out on me. My dad is no better. I'm scared its going to take months for her to recover and I think she is starting to get sick and when she gets sick (just remember she had surgery so its 100 times worse even for a cold) she nearly dies unless she catches it in the very beginning. She is experiencing muscle spasms and I can't stand to see someone in so much pain. It fixed nothing, just made things worse. I am getting depressed again. She is not even looking at her E-mails which can contain orders (yeah right) or be from my contact in New York. The other thing that's getting me down is that no one is calling us about placing orders. I know most places are delaying things but the least they can do is tell us. Nothing is meant to go for the good for me just little things here and there. Even that magazine I am going to be in probably won't bring any orders as being in Dog Fancy (over 200,000 subscribe to it) and we haven't received one bleeping order from it. The editor was a moron though, not mentioning any contact information. But if people had brains, they could have Googled my name. They didn't so what is a local magazine going to do? I also have a cold. How fun! Not!

Nice way to see life man (:, have you read Viktor Frankl's "man search for meaning" ??
It talks exactly about that, the attitude one chooses in life, great book, I love it, it has helped me A LOT about depression and the way I see life.

I think the publishing house should pay me royalties for always talking about it!!

@jawb: good to know you're fine (:

@firebird: sorry to hear about your mon One day, hopefully not, we will be in the same situation, sick and in bed, so at least offer her some comfort.
And about the orders, call them, make what salespeople call "cold call", just a call to let people know if they want to order some of what you sell. Good luck
EDIT: Ahh, the wildlife artist, good luck girl (:

Last edited by computerlove on 15 Feb 2009, 9:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't read much but of that book I read or very similar. It helped me change some of my negative thinking.

10!! !!

I have been waiting for this day for the last year and a half, and it has finally come!! !!