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f#*kin job placement agency my Louisiana Rehabilitation Services counselor referred me to at the end of last year hasn't been doing jack fuggin $h!t except causing me inconvenience. When I had my assessment they bragged about how they move very fast & they talked like it would be easier for me because I have work experience; had 3 different jobs, about 38 months total. But a couple days ago when I talked to em on the phone they said they're not sure wha they can do to help me because I'm so limited. I find it ironic that an organization that brags about how they get people with sever disabilities with jobs says I'm to limited when other programs refuse to help me because I'm not disabled enough. The only thing they have been doing is asking me where I've been putting in apps & telling me to call to check on em. When I call I get told how they get lots of applications in & don't have time to check on em all or that they hire as needed. Job placement will not talk to the employers to get me an interview because it looks better when applicants do that themselves. I ask them what services they do offer & they told me they offer job shadowing/coaching after I get the job which I probably wouldn't need sense I have experience. They also assist with submitting apps but sense I've worked before & am good with basic net forum stuff; I'm more than capable of doing it myself & it's probably better that I do it on my own because I'm more qualified to explain what I've did at jobs than they are. They also would help with interview coaching & they can come in with me to interviews if the employers let but that will only help when I can get an interview. They leave messages on the answering machine when I don't answer the phone because I have my headphones on & don't hear it or something & I usually call em back within an hour or so but the person I need to speak to is usually out of the office so I leave a message & they don't return the call for a few days. My LRS counselor called me yesterday & asked me what was going on because they told her that I was noncompliant; I was not retuning their phone calls or doing what they wanted me to do. The paperwork I've got from my assessment said I was very cooperative & eager to return to work. They are the ones who are not returning calsl & the only thing they ask me to do is to call after I submit apps & my confessor agreed with me that calling regularly will seem pesky. I think they don't know what to do with me because I'm limited in more than on e area instead of being completely limited in one so they are saying $h!t so they can drop my case. My counselor asked me if I wanted to continue to work with em for a little while longer or quit working with job placement & I told her I didn't see the point in continuing with em because nothing has happened sense I started with em & they will not provide the help I need which is encouraging employers to hire me or least give me an interview. LRS counselor said she's going to try talking to em again & call me back next week but I'm thinking I probably won't be working with job placement anymore. LRS hasn't done much to help me get a job either except encourage me to keep asserting myself. I've gotten the couple jobs I had on my own. She mentioned possibly closing my case because nothing has been happening & I've been doing everything on my own anyway. I guess I'll know more about what's going on next week but it probably doesn't matter because nothing has been happening or will happen unless a company looks over my app & decides to call me

D@mn it, I'm tired of this. There really is nowhere for me to go. People think because I have a conservative ideology means I hate and wish to dispose of those who oppose me, and that because I'm religious I'm a blind fool. At the same time, my conservative counter parts think I'm an idiot because I have AS, but it seems everyone with AS is a liberal, so whenever I try to hang out with them they start b1tching about my conservatism, since no one can find anything worth while to talk about anymore than politics and religion.

The only reason I haven't killed or hurt myself is because I fear god. And I'm not going to throw him away and go for it because my risk is too great. I've tried giving atheism a chance, really, but the more I try the more absurd the notion (of a Godless universe) becomes. In fact, I'm starting to find myself seeking peace with God.

Don't ever try to change your religious stance to please others. I actually know of a wonderful AS women who spent years in a convent as a nun - she is highly religious. It's ok to be who you are and believe in whatever you want. I'm agnostic and tolerant of all belief systems, and I won't let anyone change my position on that, and I try to force anyone else to adopt my belief system, or disparage anyone who doesn't share it.

Thankfully I gave up doing such a thing. Not lucky for you though Thanks for the concern BTW. I'm not better, but at least there's one more non-religious person who isn't an a-hole about it.

god or whoever is in charge please get me out of here.

I am so sick of people who argue against abortion by playing the "You could abort the next Einstein!" Every time a guy masturbates or a woman gets her period, they're also theoretically preventing the next great genius from being born. Where's the outcry over that? Also, why should a woman have to go through an unwanted pregnancy because of the extremely off chance that she might give birth to a ~supergenius~?

SMDH.

The partit - ards stormed the white house those imageries where similar to the ones in Pakistan Sept 11 except the American ones where drunken and over fed.

Now the Americans have "got him" what now ? did they get him, did he even exist ?

somebody please put an end to this nonsense pretty please and with sprinkles on top please oh please , it must be a joke ?

perhaps if their where no religions ...

have you ever met a violent atheist ?

One of the reasons I've turned off the TV you should try it to

Why should the guys from Manic Street Preachers be such histerycal leftists?
It's the only "rather popy" band I like and the leftist crap that they fill their songs with kind of ruins it for me when I'm only i the mood for something catchy and melodic.
Thanks god all the anarcho-punk I like it's in polish/french.

Just say "I could also be aborting the next Gary Ridgeway" that'll shut them up

So, I came to Wrong Planet thinking that I might have aspergian traits because I seemed to share many traits of those characteristically with aspergers and my "social success" seems to share a fairly common tale of the typical person with aspergers, despite the best of my intentions. But, as I participated more on WrongPlanet, it became exceedingly obvious that I didn't exactly have the same kind of lack of social insight that characterized those with aspergers nor lack of understanding. On "NT" forums, I might seem a little off sometimes and I don't have the best insight into how everyone might think about every kind of situation and my understanding tends to be simplified and not always on the mark (And I attribute that to inexperience and possibly memory deficits), but here, I seem to be a genius. So, then I lead to the conclusion I'm probably not *really* aspie or, if I am, I'm not *really* badly affected as far as my social understanding goes. But, that still leaves the unaccounted explanation -- why the hell I am so bad with people when my problem solving abilities and probable working verbal memory should be far more than enough to integrate should I so desire? For example, in last quarter's computer science class which was senior capstone, I contributed significantly to the project but I was unawaringly rejected from the group as they later backstabbed me by assigning me a poor grade, despite all the effort I contributed. Towards the end of the quarter, the team leader did seem to express annoyance with me, but not the kind that would indicate a fundamental rift in the group. An explanation I had gleaned from their explanation to the teacher was that I "I lied and didn't contribute.". What??? I don't remember lying and I *definitely* contributed. Anyway, as I look at the body of evidence, I surmise there might be a mix between communicatory deficits, impoverished thinking and unadaptive sociopathic personality traits. The communicatory deficits would be underlied by verbal memory deficits which would tend to cause me to make statements that differ from what I had intended, and so it 'sounded like I was a liar' because communication was fallible rather than a prevaricating intent. As far as the sociopathic characteristics, they might have been offput by a disagreeable and possibly elitist air about me (arrogance, in other words?) which I *might* have possessed at the time. I don't honestly believe that, but it's possible I just lack significant intrapersonal insight.

After the quarter, I tried doing damage control to repair the situation using my new understanding of what the problem might've been, and sought to improve it as much as possible. At first, there seemed to be a chance for redemption, however throughout the quarter, there seemed to be crescendoing sense of dislike coming from "the client" and her corresponding personal evaluation of me, and a subsequent degradation in my chance of passing the course, and my teacher implied I didn't communicate with my team members. That was awfully funny because I swear I emailed them quite often and he saw these emails, so I wonder what exactly he was getting at? And, now, it seems like I've been cut off ex communicado as I'm not getting any new information from the teacher, client nor team members regarding the software development despite the fact she was developing a list assigning priority to the desired features she wants implemented. I feel like I have to impose myself just to "get in" on the action, but even then, it seems f*****g fruitless if my ability to gain favor of the graders is intrinsically impoverished as evidence upto now seems to suggest, regardless of my actual work output.

And, so, now I'm thinking I'll purposely try being "agreeable" and "nice" and "humble" and "less angry" and "less aggressive" in the future when I'll have to retake this f*****g course-- I didn't really think that was a problem previously, but it *might* have been.

The other part of me is thinking that I might have intrinsic verbal memory and other critical memory deficits that are essentially immutable. I will be finding that out in a couple of months when I undergo memory testing.

Then the other part of me is thinking I might have an ASD, and *that* might have affected my "social communication" in the group, regardless of my possibly more-than-sufficient intellective qualities.

And, also, for the "sociopathic personality disorder" hypothesis, I have the agreement of probable verbal memory deficits (Discrepancies between intellect and verbal ability have been found in a lot of sociopathic individuals), a fitting assessment of "lying" and "lack of contribution" (Assuming that's correct which I *doubt*), and a known attitude of superiority. Plus, many girls seem to fawn in my physical presence, even though I don't exactly have a licentious sexual life.

The other thing I'm looking at is possibly something like schizophrenia, and I'm just in the prodromal stage. However, if I'm developing schizophrenia, it's probably not the paranoid type as, if anything, my paranoia of the world about me has seem to be on a downward trajectory over the past couple of years. That still leaves the possibility of disorganized schizophrenia.

swbluto - a few thoughts:

you can't know what you don't know. You don't know your own blind spots, someone or some aid has to show you them.

So you could have AS but not know your own eccentricities because you lack the social awareness to recognize your own behavior as sometimes irregular.

I say this based on personal experience.

Also - I thought that autism was caused by an interaction of many different genes and not everyone on the spectrum, or with AS, have the same genes that cause it, and some have deficits in some areas and others, not.

Here's my little rant.

I know full well that letting others' opinions of me dictate my happiness level is not the way to go. But I do it anyway. People just have a hold on me. I people

I'm not even angry about it, I'm just tired. Literally tired, too tired to be angry or anything else but sighy and wistful.

Thanks purchase for the commentary. I suppose it's possible to have deficits in certain areas and not in others, but it'd seem quite strange to have a better-than-adequate social insight (Maybe not 'better than average' in dynamic real life situations, but generally speaking.) and ability to read facial expressions and ASD-related communication deficits at the same time. Maybe not.

If I were to do that, I'd hate myself. Thus, I don't do it. (Well, I don't let others' opinions affect my "Happiness about myself" levels (Although, they probably have for some time...), but it's clear there's a pretty tight correlation between happiness and "meaningful social interaction" and if everyone had a poor opinion of me, than I guess the "social interaction" would be less which means it might actually affect my happiness in a round about way. But, then again, some other person on an NT site said I'm pretty awesome, so I guess I'm not that poorly thought of. Thinking I'm poorly thought of, regardless of what others actually think, is probably just an NT-thinking mechanism for motivating one to socially improve regardless of actual capability, lol).

It probably works better for you because you love people more than I. (With that whole social reciprocity thing.)

Last edited by swbluto on 11 May 2011, 8:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

As I was approaching my house, I noticed a relative's car at my house and I thought "Oh, heck yeah, company!", but then I saw it pull out and I was saddened. Oh well, I thought. But then, it drove by me and I saw my mom in it! That would've been fine until 2 seconds later I realized that I didn't have my keys and they probably locked the house. I later confirmed this was the case.

I checked the back door and it was also locked. Damn.

"Was I willing to pay for the cost to replace a broken window?" I thought, and I answered negatively.

So, I got in the garage and sat in the car. And, did stuff.

About 1 hour and 30 minutes later, they were back!

And that was 1 hour and 30 minutes I wasn't on my computer! [/rant]

Today, a fat girl boarded the bus and passed up every other possible available seat on the bus to sit next to anyone else *just* to sit next to me. *choke* *choke*

WHY... oh WHY... did the FAT girl have to sit next to me??? I know my body language just yells how f*****g hot I am, but seriously, the implied application states "No fat girls.". Learn to read, fatties!

I don't like anybody sitting next to me to begin with which is why I act/look crazy to scare people (Honestly, it requires little to no effort on my part), but then this FAT girl sits next to me. My plan FAILED. [/rant]

Last edited by swbluto on 11 May 2011, 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.