09 May 2018, 5:41 am
Here are some concrete examples, most of these are fairly odd, I was not particularly interested and they ended up going nowhere:
Guy is on same train as me. Train breaks down. He comes over and starts chatting (initially about broken train, then other stuff...) and says shall we go for a sandwich / coffee as there is now no train.
Guy on bus is staring at me. He asks little old lady sitting next to him to ask little old lady across the aisle who is sitting next to me to ask me if I am single. He continues to pester his lady to talk to my lady and ask questions about me and the ladies seem to think it is "ever so cute." He finally asks his lady to ask my lady if I am free when the bus reaches its destination.
Guy seller in book shop leaves note in my bag asking me out on date.
This is a particularly odd one, happened last summer, not sure if this is normal male behaviour or not or if he was flirting / coming on to me, extremely generous, or just slightly nuts 
guy filling up at pump next to me sees me struggling with filling car up (it is some pre-pay system and I am abroad - in America) so he starts chatting with me and then says why don't I just "fill up on him" and starts dragging his hose over. That one is odd right? Or do men randomly give women free petrol in America? Drove off pretty fast.
Plenty more examples of similar very high class style!
Most often it will happen when you are sitting down anyway, on a bus, flight or train or something like that (I've had two random marriage proposals on long distance flights when I was younger, not fun at all, especially as there was a lot of flying left to do and I am petrified of flying anyway).
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
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Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
09 May 2018, 5:44 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm not sure that such a formal introduction like that is so common. I think more often it's just that a conversation starts. Name exchanging could happen later once it seems the conversation is going somewhere*. But yeah, you're example could happen, especially in the more social hubs of the city.
(*and sometimes not, like one time I got chatting with a guy at a zoo, and we spent an hour or two wandering around together, then we parted ways and I realised we never even introduced ourselves
)Then give me a concrete example how a guy would ask out a stranger girl in public without him introducing himself. **scratching head**
I need to know because goldfish is like "OMFG GUYs ask out gals in the STREET ALL the TTIME!!" .
Give me concrete examples, you too Raleigh since you joined his club.
She responded to your example and told you how realistic it is. The part you're not getting is that conversation starters, introductions, and asking someone out aren't set in stone scripted words. They're spontaneous, fluid, momentary, and react to the situation/scene/people involved. People are not robots - especially NT's.
Which example? Her totally out-of-topic Zoo example that it's a complete different scenario than I am talking about? Zoo is like touristic interest places, where there are guards and guides, it's common there for strangers to chit chat about the things (or animals) they're all there to see.
And even in her Zoo example the guy didn't attempt to ask her out and didn't even introduce himself.
Her Zoo example is useless.
I said she responded to YOUR example. Your example is a fair representation of how people meet at starbucks.
_________________
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
09 May 2018, 5:44 am
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm actually shocked that the one on these forums who's special interest is dating and relationships doesn't realize that people meet in public at random and start up conversations with one another just like this.
I'm actually shocked by you too, you seem to live on another planet. You talk about things I have never seen in my life.
It's something I never do, nor I see guys doing it -
I have never seen it in Lebanon, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Cyprus, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Turkey.
I have never seen it in Czech Republic, except in bars.
Those are places I went to frequently.
- in coffee shops only people who know each other already sit on same table talk to each other, but I wouldn't attemp to next to a girl , on the same table, whom I know nothing about and start talking to her ; nor I have seen a friend or acquaintance approaching a total stranger in a coffee shop. It just doesn't happen in my sane world.
I have never been to any of those places so can't speak to them.
Coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are rather specifically designed for singles to mingle, really.
That's news to me, a total alternate reality world - where I live and the places I went to, coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are designed for serving food and friends-gathering, and first dates (most of my first dates been in a coffee shop). As for the 'designed for singles to mingle' part, this is too alien for me.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
09 May 2018, 5:45 am
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm not sure that such a formal introduction like that is so common. I think more often it's just that a conversation starts. Name exchanging could happen later once it seems the conversation is going somewhere*. But yeah, you're example could happen, especially in the more social hubs of the city.
(*and sometimes not, like one time I got chatting with a guy at a zoo, and we spent an hour or two wandering around together, then we parted ways and I realised we never even introduced ourselves
)Then give me a concrete example how a guy would ask out a stranger girl in public without him introducing himself. **scratching head**
I need to know because goldfish is like "OMFG GUYs ask out gals in the STREET ALL the TTIME!!" .
Give me concrete examples, you too Raleigh since you joined his club.
She responded to your example and told you how realistic it is. The part you're not getting is that conversation starters, introductions, and asking someone out aren't set in stone scripted words. They're spontaneous, fluid, momentary, and react to the situation/scene/people involved. People are not robots - especially NT's.
Which example? Her totally out-of-topic Zoo example that it's a complete different scenario than I am talking about? Zoo is like touristic interest places, where there are guards and guides, it's common there for strangers to chit chat about the things (or animals) they're all there to see.
And even in her Zoo example the guy didn't attempt to ask her out and didn't even introduce himself.
Her Zoo example is useless.
I said she responded to YOUR example. Your example is a fair representation of how people meet at starbucks.
MY example was a satire, it's something that never happens.
09 May 2018, 5:45 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
09 May 2018, 5:47 am
elsapelsa wrote:
Here are some concrete examples, most of these are fairly odd, I was not particularly interested and they ended up going nowhere:
Guy is on same train as me. Train breaks down. He comes over and starts chatting (initially about broken train, then other stuff...) and says shall we go for a sandwich / coffee as there is now no train.
Guy on bus is staring at me. He asks little old lady sitting next to him to ask little old lady across the aisle who is sitting next to me to ask me if I am single. He continues to pester his lady to talk to my lady and ask questions about me and the ladies seem to think it is "ever so cute." He finally asks his lady to ask my lady if I am free when the bus reaches its destination.
Guy seller in book shop leaves note in my bag asking me out on date.
This is a particularly odd one, happened last summer, not sure if this is normal male behaviour or not or if he was flirting / coming on to me, extremely generous, or just slightly nuts guy filling up at pump next to me sees me struggling with filling car up (it is some pre-pay system and I am abroad - in America) so he starts chatting with me and then says why don't I just "fill up on him" and starts dragging his hose over. That one is odd right? Or do men randomly give women free petrol in America? Drove off pretty fast.
Plenty more examples of similar very high class style!
Most often it will happen when you are sitting down anyway, on a bus, flight or train or something like that (I've had two random marriage proposals on long distance flights when I was younger, not fun at all, especially as there was a lot of flying left to do and I am petrified of flying anyway).
Guy is on same train as me. Train breaks down. He comes over and starts chatting (initially about broken train, then other stuff...) and says shall we go for a sandwich / coffee as there is now no train.
Guy on bus is staring at me. He asks little old lady sitting next to him to ask little old lady across the aisle who is sitting next to me to ask me if I am single. He continues to pester his lady to talk to my lady and ask questions about me and the ladies seem to think it is "ever so cute." He finally asks his lady to ask my lady if I am free when the bus reaches its destination.
Guy seller in book shop leaves note in my bag asking me out on date.
This is a particularly odd one, happened last summer, not sure if this is normal male behaviour or not or if he was flirting / coming on to me, extremely generous, or just slightly nuts
guy filling up at pump next to me sees me struggling with filling car up (it is some pre-pay system and I am abroad - in America) so he starts chatting with me and then says why don't I just "fill up on him" and starts dragging his hose over. That one is odd right? Or do men randomly give women free petrol in America? Drove off pretty fast. Plenty more examples of similar very high class style!
Most often it will happen when you are sitting down anyway, on a bus, flight or train or something like that (I've had two random marriage proposals on long distance flights when I was younger, not fun at all, especially as there was a lot of flying left to do and I am petrified of flying anyway).
And none of those examples worked for the guys ....and would never work with any other lady I bet , so that reinforces my theory that they're not socially acceptable in any form or shape.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
09 May 2018, 5:50 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm actually shocked that the one on these forums who's special interest is dating and relationships doesn't realize that people meet in public at random and start up conversations with one another just like this.
I'm actually shocked by you too, you seem to live on another planet. You talk about things I have never seen in my life.
It's something I never do, nor I see guys doing it -
I have never seen it in Lebanon, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Cyprus, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Turkey.
I have never seen it in Czech Republic, except in bars.
Those are places I went to frequently.
- in coffee shops only people who know each other already sit on same table talk to each other, but I wouldn't attemp to next to a girl , on the same table, whom I know nothing about and start talking to her ; nor I have seen a friend or acquaintance approaching a total stranger in a coffee shop. It just doesn't happen in my sane world.
I have never been to any of those places so can't speak to them.
Coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are rather specifically designed for singles to mingle, really.
That's news to me, a total alternate reality world - where I live and the places I went to, coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are designed for serving food and friends-gathering, and first dates (most of my first dates been in a coffee shop). As for the 'designed for singles to mingle' part, this is too alien for me.
Coffee shops are for all of those things as well as singles to meet - and, of course, for coffee and wifi & a place to take a piss.
Here's one that will blow your mind then: Apparently the starbucks right on the strip of Vancouver's gay village is a major cruising spot. I've been eyeballed there while ordering coffee. Apparently gay guys will use it as a cruising spot, meaning they go there specifically to check each other out, signal that they're interested in one another, and then disappear somewhere discreet for a quick sexual encounter - possibly even the washroom in that starbucks; I'm not sure, that's not my thing. But maybe they just use it as a pickup spot and then go elsewhere. *shrug* Not part of my slu*ty life so I dunno for sure what the location protocol is, only that I've heard it's a major cruising spot.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
09 May 2018, 5:52 am
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm actually shocked that the one on these forums who's special interest is dating and relationships doesn't realize that people meet in public at random and start up conversations with one another just like this.
I'm actually shocked by you too, you seem to live on another planet. You talk about things I have never seen in my life.
It's something I never do, nor I see guys doing it -
I have never seen it in Lebanon, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Cyprus, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Turkey.
I have never seen it in Czech Republic, except in bars.
Those are places I went to frequently.
- in coffee shops only people who know each other already sit on same table talk to each other, but I wouldn't attemp to next to a girl , on the same table, whom I know nothing about and start talking to her ; nor I have seen a friend or acquaintance approaching a total stranger in a coffee shop. It just doesn't happen in my sane world.
I have never been to any of those places so can't speak to them.
Coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are rather specifically designed for singles to mingle, really.
That's news to me, a total alternate reality world - where I live and the places I went to, coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are designed for serving food and friends-gathering, and first dates (most of my first dates been in a coffee shop). As for the 'designed for singles to mingle' part, this is too alien for me.
Coffee shops are for all of those things as well as singles to meet - and, of course, for coffee and wifi & a place to take a piss.
Here's one that will blow your mind then: Apparently the starbucks right on the strip of Vancouver's gay village is a major cruising spot. I've been eyeballed there while ordering coffee. Apparently gay guys will use it as a cruising spot, meaning they go there specifically to check each other out, signal that they're interested in one another, and then disappear somewhere discreet for a quick sexual encounter - possibly even the washroom in that starbucks; I'm not sure, that's not my thing. But maybe they just use it as a pickup spot and then go elsewhere. *shrug* Not part of my slu*ty life so I dunno for sure what the location protocol is, only that I've heard it's a major cruising spot.
Here's one that will blow your mind too:
Gay men =/= women.
Social etiquette among gays are not applicable among hetero people.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
09 May 2018, 6:05 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
^ Almost anywhere that's not private. Maybe not public toilets cos most are still segregated.
So let me get this right: you're sitting there alone in starbucks drinking coffee and checking your tablet - you're a total stranger to me - I saw you there from distance and I was like 'wow this girl is hot!' . So I come to you and I am like: "Hi! My name is Boo,what's your name?" - You: "I am yellowtamarin" - Me: "May I sit here?" ...etc
and you said even flirting, so I may add to the conversation : Me: "I often come here and this is first time i notice you in this place, you caught my attention, are you new here?"
Are you telling me this is a common thing in Melbourne? Because this is so alien to me , I thought it only happens in movies.
I'm actually shocked that the one on these forums who's special interest is dating and relationships doesn't realize that people meet in public at random and start up conversations with one another just like this.
I'm actually shocked by you too, you seem to live on another planet. You talk about things I have never seen in my life.
It's something I never do, nor I see guys doing it -
I have never seen it in Lebanon, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Cyprus, except in bars.
I have never seen it in Turkey.
I have never seen it in Czech Republic, except in bars.
Those are places I went to frequently.
- in coffee shops only people who know each other already sit on same table talk to each other, but I wouldn't attemp to next to a girl , on the same table, whom I know nothing about and start talking to her ; nor I have seen a friend or acquaintance approaching a total stranger in a coffee shop. It just doesn't happen in my sane world.
I have never been to any of those places so can't speak to them.
Coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are rather specifically designed for singles to mingle, really.
That's news to me, a total alternate reality world - where I live and the places I went to, coffee shops and small restaurants/lounges are designed for serving food and friends-gathering, and first dates (most of my first dates been in a coffee shop). As for the 'designed for singles to mingle' part, this is too alien for me.
Coffee shops are for all of those things as well as singles to meet - and, of course, for coffee and wifi & a place to take a piss.
Here's one that will blow your mind then: Apparently the starbucks right on the strip of Vancouver's gay village is a major cruising spot. I've been eyeballed there while ordering coffee. Apparently gay guys will use it as a cruising spot, meaning they go there specifically to check each other out, signal that they're interested in one another, and then disappear somewhere discreet for a quick sexual encounter - possibly even the washroom in that starbucks; I'm not sure, that's not my thing. But maybe they just use it as a pickup spot and then go elsewhere. *shrug* Not part of my slu*ty life so I dunno for sure what the location protocol is, only that I've heard it's a major cruising spot.
Here's one that will blow your mind too:
Gay men =/= women.
Social etiquette among gays are not applicable among hetero people.
Did I say that now or ever? No.
My point was that coffee shops are used for a whole lot more than getting a coffee.. and more than getting just a phone number. Teh Gays use some of them as cruising spots.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
09 May 2018, 1:59 pm
youcameandchanged
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04 Dec 2018, 6:30 pm
youcameandchanged
Raven
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Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 106
Location: It's for me to know, and for you to find out
05 Dec 2018, 8:49 pm
youcameandchanged
Raven
Joined: 11 Jul 2018
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 106
Location: It's for me to know, and for you to find out
07 Dec 2018, 4:45 am
07 Dec 2018, 6:54 am
07 Dec 2018, 6:55 am
07 Dec 2018, 8:13 am
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