scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Flat lining at 0. I'm not really feeling anything right now. That's just been the way it's been for awhile. Just kinda stuck. I'd rather feel depressed honestly, at least then I could feel something and motivate myself to make some sort of change.

0-1 bored

Back to 1, i got my fifth level 80 in WoW last night so that was kinda cool. Now I'm trying to not think about the crush i have since that just makes me feel worse.

Dont really know what to write here. I am a compulsive eater, and I know that is not the same as alcohol or drugs.... but I do know that if I was going to binge, wild horses couldnt stop me.

It is a very difficult thing when, I realised that the only things that made me feel good, that helped me cope, were things I was addicted to.

So I cant offer any advice any more than I can stop eating when under stress or upset (which is often).

I guess my message here is to take care of yourself, try and think things through a bit instead of going into automatic mode... easier said than done, I know.

anyway all I can offer is a (((((((((((hug)))))))))) .

Last edited by zen_mistress on 08 Jul 2009, 5:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Checking in... a +2. Sitting here at the computer, ears are ringing... have an appointment at the tinnitus clinic but it was booked up til 2 weeks from now so I wait, nervously.

Hyperacusis is not fun. I think awareness of it needs to be increased. I hadnt even heard of it until I injured my ear by dropping a heavy china bowl on a slate floor. I know I have always had sensitive hearing but had I known I was susceptible to this I would have been more aware of protecting my hearing.

Anyway will cope best as I can because after all, it is my life and no matter what happens here I still have to live it. One thing I know is that I ever improve functioning in the areas that are malfunctioning at the moment, I will never take it for granted again.

-1. It's been a while, but I think I am feeling something similar to anger. I currently have insomnia on top of insomnia.

Thnx Zen.

Still hard right now and I've also had issues with eating as well.

I'm still stuck between a 0 and 5, but taking more meds to calm me down so I don't go into drinking again.

You're welcome. I am glad that you are doing whatever helps to calm yourself, and good that you are posting on here, the best place to be for support.

It is awesome that you stayed clean and sober for as long as you did, and most people do have one or two relapses along the way... especially when things get hard.

So you shouldnt beat yourself up (if you are) for having had a relapse. In a way I think relapses are part of the journey.

-7

Feel depressed, wish i was dead, standard etc etc

-5

Operating on 4 hours sleep
Sleep so poorly that 4 hours is average for me
Didn't even manage to get outside for 3 days in the last week (god DAMN I hate being in the city).
Have had no social contact since Saturday; Even then, at a group where I'm a complete outsider
Unemployed
Unemployment running out in 2 weeks
Headaches that have lasted for 2 years and are now completely debilitating
Mind too far gone to learn anything
Unable to get enjoyment out of anything
Most days are spent wishing that they would simply be over
Don't know if I'll ever be able to work again
Don't know if I'll ever have real friends
Horribly lonely
Facing moving back in with my crazy parents (as in hospitalized 5 times in a psych ward this year crazy)
Bad chest pain
Don't feel much of anything
Have to force myself to eat/often don't manage to have 3 meals
My brother died last year

Emotionally, I'm nowhere near where I was a few years ago (when I was living with my parents last time...) but functionally, I've never been this bad. Even in the pits of whatever sort of depression and insomnia I had, until last year, I always had my mind to work with.

Now, I don't even have that.

Nothing to strive for, nothing to live for. What's the point?

Last edited by gsilver on 10 Jul 2009, 4:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hugs to you MissC. Lots of them. xxoo

0. Pretty empty...

right now 0
but this day was all over the place from -5 to +5
just let me stay at zero

i'm quite satisfied with zero
tired of bouncing around
s t a b i l i t y
zero is peachy

I hope things improve for you soon, gsilver.

0. Been busy dealing with messes caused by other people. It's disheartening.

-3. Another one of those days.

^ I hope the storm inside your head passes quickly, IWB.

I've been cruising at about a 1 or 2 most of the week. Today I've bounced up to a 7 I hope to stay that way for awhile. It would be nice.