scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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1. Really sleepy, feel like I could sleep another few hours. Also a little down, and I have this stress which i cant make go away.

Had a lot of weird dreams, one of which was that Wrongplanet ended up becoming this giant live gameshow thing, and it was owned by Richard Branson and hosted by Stephen Colbert.

0. Feeling OK.

0-I'm off to bed!!

+3 - I'm okay and it's very quiet here (good thing), but my back hurts.

-7 My standard for the past six months would be -5 and I have been sick all day so I am really bad.

-3

Less than 2 hours since I got back to my parents place, and I'm already responsible for causing my mom to completely break down in tears.


It's so obvious how I developed the trait of "applogizing for everything" that annoys my friends so much. With my mom, she's so volitile, requires apologies for everything, and somehow has a way of making everything your fault.


My crime today was, after getting permission to use the wall hamper in the bathroom, removing my deceased brothers clothes into garbage bags, and remving them from the bathroom.

It's really unfortunate that he's gone (even though sometimes I hate myself for being so unemotional about it), but the laundry had been there for 9 months, at least, and with me being unemployed, and no real other option than living on the street, I need the environment to be at least somewhat livable.

Am I supposed to leave every tiny thing that my brother ever touched where ever he happened to leave it?


Maybe an NT can help me with this one.

0. The big existential question of today: Does feeling stressed, about life in general, justify eating a whole jar of Nutella?

If not, what are some better ways to cope with said stress, without pill-popping, drinking, general narcotry, repetitive reading, or consuming massive amounts of food?

0

100% mindf*ck http://alinssite.iguido.com/wordpress/2 ... n-germany/

2. My brother snapped at me over a remark that was meant completely without offence, and he won't tell me what I've said wrong. Also, I have to make a phone call tomorrow, which I hate, and it is to a government department, and they are always difficult to communicate with because noone seems to know anything about the area that they are meant to specialise in.
I'm going to go and live in a cave on a mountain so that I can stop dealing with people.

-2

I bet if I were female, had blond hair, blue eyes, and gigantic knockers, people on here would pay more attention to me.

-4.

I wouldnt.

~

2. Woke up from weird dreams about laws being changed so that people could keep pet tigers but they didnt lock them up properly, resulting in the situation that around any corner there could be a tiger... I felt very scared, wondering if I would be the first to be picked off by a tiger on the streets because of my weird body language.. was formulating a lot of strategies in my head on what to do if I encountered one.

Anyway mother is particularly control-freaky this morning. Sometimes I wonder why she doesnt go and join the military, that seems to be the type of environment she likes.

+4. Good day. Went cycling. Anxious though.

You are probably correct.

I was -5 or worse due to extreme anxiousness up until a few minutes ago when the Blue Angels flew right over my head and went into a steep verticle climb and then dissapeared back over my brother's house... Now I am feeling 100% excellent so +10, hope I can keep that up !

Sweet! I'd love to see an F-16 in action I remember when I was in Wales with my friends a pair of Harriers flew right over Oakwood theme park, it was unbelievably cool

I'm about a...-1 today. I was down visiting family today, and I was able to act pretty normal for once. I even talked to my nine year old cousin Tara, who I realise I really like, which is a weird thing for me to be able to say about another human, yet alone a family member

Then I came home, and decided to look up Asperger's Syndrome and Schizophrenia on youtube, and I was shocked to find out I'm not as mild as I thought, but I'm pretty damn severe. All the Aspie's I seen on youtube were pretty normal, and most of the Schizophrenics weren't too far weird either. Out of the ten + I seen on youtube, I seemed to be the second most severe Shocker! As soon as things get bad when I get back to school I'm going to have to break the news, I could do with the help and my parents could do with 200 extra a week, and if I can get on some meds to improve my concentration/ mental clarity, I'll do just fine on my final exams. I'll live without treating the depression for a while.

-9999999999999999999999999 I HATE myself and the world. COME ON GOV WAR!! !! DO IT!! !! Wipe out the world. There is NO good news from our crappy family. I am so bleeping tired of reading about "economic recovery" because that means everythings great for EVERYONE else but our stupid family. My grandpa is always right about everything and he is what we call, "a realist." Everyone else might say he's just a negative thinker and depressed, but why is it everything he said is right so far? He said that my brother's company will NEVER get an investor or get started and guess what? Nothing good to report. My crappy art sucks like hell. It looks like a 5 year old did it except the big scene pictures. I mean I am in 20 stores since last year, NOT ONE has reordered. In fact most arent selling a thing. My art isn't good enough. Its $4 (or less) cards we are talking about, NOT ORIGINALS IN GALLERIES! Remember that my art was so bad I actually shut down the main gallery that I was in? There is nothing going good for us. I really hope that there is a HUGE disaster in the world in the near future, mainly world war 3. Then I don't have to worry about my pathetic non future. The only things that keep my mind off my depression are computer games (that also helps with my anger towards certain people), my friends (only once a week) and watching shows. THAT'S IT. Just temporary solutions. I know for an absolute fact that you all are tired of hearing from me. To PROVE how crappy everything is my mom has a book published and we ALWAYS get a check every 6 months and the statement came in today (well, actually yesterday as I didn't get the mail then) and in fact its NEGATIVE sales, meaning every single person RETURNED the book and we got not a single cent. I don't want to hear "its the economy stupid" because if you even mention that I will give you hundreds of links on how its improving. I liked it better when I read constant bad reports about the economy because then I know its not just us that is suffering, but rather the entire country and possibly the world. Not its a constant stream of positive reports which gets me angry. There is no hope, totally hopeless. EVERYTHING GOES FOR THE WORST FOR US. Yes, I did have that huge order last week. There is bad about that as well. I know that the company that bought the stuff will regret it because no one will buy and thats a one time deal. The order was also less than what they originally said a year ago. Yes, it was just an EXPECTED order, one in the works for about a year. I mean that is the first internet order for my stuff this entire year. I am a failure and will never succeed. My brother is the family's only hope, but I am 99.999999999999999999% sure it will fail as well or never get started. I know I talk about my dads retirement a lot but that is our deadline (5 years MAXIMUM). I will NEVER accept losing everything we own. The second that happens, no games, no friends, no movies/shows or anything else will save me as these have been for the last few months. There is no light at the end of the tunnel for us, just complete darkness.