scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Everything just gets more and more difficult, and I keep thinking that there must be a point where it becomes "I can't" rather than "I can, but it really, really hurts", but things never get to that point. Despite that, my mood is fairly reasonable, around 4-ish.

I'm around a 6 or 7 this morning. Must be thursday.

0. not really happy or sad. That pretty much is what I am.

2. Sort of ok I guess. The sky has a mother-of-pearl look, being a mixture of blue and grey and white, blended softly. I think I am thinking like this because I have some new acrylic paints and I have been having fun with them, making huge, messy paintings that dont have to look like anything or mean anything or be seen by anyone.

It makes me long for days when I felt greater emotional freedom. I long to move to Italy, where I can live with temperamental people who are always shouting at each other, and I can throw a large plate of technicoloured pasta dramatically at the wall, without anyone thinking I am "emo". I guess I could have that freedom back, if I decided to give up on the idea of wanting to be liked by others.

-9. codeine withdrawal and life (what life?) unravelling.

-5

I'm really sad...I had a horrible summer

Well, A little background on the topic:

I'm part of my school's alphabetization proyect, and I got a capacitation throughout the year, etc

The thing is that during the summer they go on a trip to a rural community and they live there for two months and they teach and have lots of fun and learn lots of new things and stuff, but you have to have decent grades and not flunk any subject....well, needless to say, I failed two classes, so I was unable to go.

I shrugged it off during the whole summer, wouldn't let it bother me too much...

Sadly they got here two days ago, and as a facebook adict...I saw the photos, after that I just felt like s**t....I haven't felt so jealous in a long time, so sad and so incompetent....

0

Apathy.

-5

I got an interview with a crafts store tomarow, and I really hope it goes ok. I am very nervous. Hopefully it won't show.

Here's why I don't feel so great.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... &jid=10470

4. Feeling sad for some reason, but happy that I'm mother free for two weeks.

A scaly mood topic

0. I am a little concerend about getting a dinner ready my son will like. Too fussy.

5. Probably my first 5 in ages, I usually score 0-4... sometimes the -s but I dont tend to post about that.. I usually post in this thread when I am feeling average. Happiness seems like such a leap of faith for me, I am afraid to put too high a number in case it all comes crashing down, but perhaps I should be more brave.

Anyway the sky today has big patches of blue, grey and white, as if it cant decide whether to be a nice day or not. Things are going ok, sort of, but still issues with some things. Had a really nice day yesterday though, as it turned out.

5

Alright, just a little bored.

Finally got my summer classes done so now I have some free time. I might contact some old friends now that I'm free. I haven't talked to anyone from WP for a good while now!

-1 under a lot of load

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I don't know. So many choices; things I want that are here for me to hold, things I want but don't think I can hold, things I want but I can't hold, things I want that I'd do my best to hold, or...hide because holding things with no arms doesn't work out that well.

-7

I've been wishing myself dead again, since I'll never pass as a woman. I can't stand being a man anymore. It's mentally painful enough that death feels like a good option.

I'm burnt out at my job; I haven't had or been able to have a vacation since September 2008. I have trouble getting work done from severe boredom sometimes. Being seen by others at work as a guy drags me down too.