You're a victim?

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Tequila got it right back on the first page. I spend portions of every single day contemplating suicide but I try to get on with life and not go on about it, you know? If you keep saying "oh, look at me, look at how terrible my life is" all the time, it comes across as blatant emotional blackmail, which is a really obvious form of manipulation that rarely works when done in that manner in real life, let alone via message boards.

I said it comes across as emotional blackmail, not that you're intentionally participating in it. Honestly, actually read what I said. I'm trying to be helpful by pointing out how you come across to others, which is what you were on about in the OP.

Sweetleaf,

I think what some of the other posters are confused about is this. Let me preface this by saying that I do not mean this in a negative or condescending way at all. It's just a sincere question.

What is it you are looking for from us?

I know sometimes I've posted vents and was looking for something, but what it was, I don't know now and didn't at the time. Like the incident with the cable guy who as it turns out confused me at my house with my son's baby mama at their trailer and told my BIL I was smoking meth in the bathroom. That's still not straightened out and I may post about it later today, because it's upsetting me. The cable man explained that he had gotten it wrong and mixed up, but no one in my family will listen to me, or to him - he has volunteered to call and straighten it out - about it, the prefer to just hate on me, because I'm not his weed connection. I may post about this to get my feelings out, or I may not. I want something done, but I don't know what.

Are you in that kind of situation, where you want things fixed and are just reaching out to people in hopes of some kind of new idea, or "magic fix"? I do not mean that in a bad way. It's a common reaction when we feel trapped.

Are you just wanting to vent and get it all out? If so, does that help?

Do you want suggestions to fix the situations, or do you just want your feelings validated? Either way is perfectly ok.

I think that you aren't getting what you need from us, and it causes hostility both ways. You post more about the problems, hoping to get what you need this time, and when it doesnt happen, it's upsetting. I'm guilty of the same thing in real life with my husband, who refuses and may be unable, to give any emotional support. Even when I spell it out to him.

Basically, I am asking what it is that you need from us. Most of us, I think, will be happy to give it, but you also have to remember that many of us (like me) aren't able to pick up on what you may need. I know of two things to do. 1) offer suggestions of what has worked for me, or what I think might work for you 2) listen and tell you that I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I see you have gotten both of those from people (along with some flack from people, because they may be frustrated with not knowing what else there is to do).

I mean this in the nicest possible way, and I'm asking because I sincerely do not know. What is it that you need from us? I'll be happy to do what I can do, but if I don't know what that is, I cannot do it.

No matter where you go, there will always be people who don't like you. There will always be somebody there to say something mean, to "drop a turd in the punch bowl" so to speak. As hard as it is when you are feeling bad, you have to let their comments go and focus on the more positive ones. You never know who is really behind the computer and typing to you. That person (and I do not mean anyone specific here at all - no one take offense please) may be a troll who just likes to upset anyone and everyone they can, or they may have serious personal problems going on that puts them in a horrible mood, or they may be in pain themselves with something physical which makes them snap at others, or they may have a psych disorder themselves that can cause them to act that way. My point with those examples, is that we don't really know why someone is mean to us online without knowing them in real life usually. Not unless they explain it to us.

There are many people here who truly would like to see you happy and getting better, but without knowing how to help you, and what you need right now emotionally, we can't do anything about it.

So, can you please give it some thought and tell us what we can do to help you feel better? I'd be glad to do what I can.

Again, this is not an attack or being mean to you. It's sincere and a real question.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com