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Why do people on this forum always side with women?

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sly279
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25 Feb 2016, 3:46 am

:s



sly279
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25 Feb 2016, 3:46 am

100000fireflies wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
I think people need to understand the advice given on this forum is mostly just throwing words out into the void, the reality is you can't solve someone else's issues no matter how rational and correct your advice is


This is very true and i'm glad you pointed it out. I have had levels of frustration in forums when i view someone as not taking any current action to change things and repeatedly upset when things don't change. The more time and energy spent trying to help, the more emotionally invested, and then the more frustrated. But you're very right, you can't solve things for someone else. You can make suggestions and what they do from there is up to them. At which point, if it bothers me, i guess it's then up to me to let go and step away.

Thank you for saying this.


I've done and been doing things, no one ever seems to acknowledge that here. :(



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25 Feb 2016, 7:37 pm

sly279 wrote:
100000fireflies wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
I think people need to understand the advice given on this forum is mostly just throwing words out into the void, the reality is you can't solve someone else's issues no matter how rational and correct your advice is


This is very true and i'm glad you pointed it out. I have had levels of frustration in forums when i view someone as not taking any current action to change things and repeatedly upset when things don't change. The more time and energy spent trying to help, the more emotionally invested, and then the more frustrated. But you're very right, you can't solve things for someone else. You can make suggestions and what they do from there is up to them. At which point, if it bothers me, i guess it's then up to me to let go and step away.

Thank you for saying this.


I've done and been doing things, no one ever seems to acknowledge that here. :(


Why is that the case?


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Scorpius14
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25 Feb 2016, 7:47 pm

For me its more in reality than on the forum because women seem to be more understanding of my difficulties whereas the men (whom I don't trust at all with how I feel and I that I feel excluded from being a man) see it as a feminine attribute, most of what I do can relate to being the opposite gender, except for the most obvious parts. Relatives such as step-father, father, brother(s) - the predominately male part of my family doesn't understand my condition at all because well one main reason is i'm the only one in the whole family with no history of it, but also ignorance runs deep in the family, especially close relatives, but nonetheless both genders just dismiss me as unable, immature, irresponsible, while the male part of the family will just say theres nothing wrong with you and get on with your life and let common sense guide you.



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25 Feb 2016, 8:25 pm

Scorpius14 wrote:
For me its more in reality than on the forum because women seem to be more understanding of my difficulties whereas the men (whom I don't trust at all with how I feel and I that I feel excluded from being a man) see it as a feminine attribute, most of what I do can relate to being the opposite gender, except for the most obvious parts. Relatives such as step-father, father, brother(s) - the predominately male part of my family doesn't understand my condition at all because well one main reason is i'm the only one in the whole family with no history of it, but also ignorance runs deep in the family, especially close relatives, but nonetheless both genders just dismiss me as unable, immature, irresponsible, while the male part of the family will just say theres nothing wrong with you and get on with your life and let common sense guide you.


Yeah, masculinity and autism don't really mix like society expects...at least that's what I pulled out of your post. This is one of my favorites from youth: "Be a man and look me in the eye." Doesn't matter that I just physically can't do it the way they want, it only matters that if I don't I'm not a "man". My experience is that females are more accepting of difference than males are. It could just be my perception as a male though-- females might be just as callous as men when dealing with other females due to competition.



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25 Feb 2016, 9:39 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
It could just be my perception as a male though-- females might be just as callous as men when dealing with other females due to competition.


I think that's true. For me, it seems like girls are more cruel than guys. Sometimes guys bully me, but when girls do the bullying it's much worse because they seem more manipulative than guys.



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26 Feb 2016, 3:22 am

slw1990 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
It could just be my perception as a male though-- females might be just as callous as men when dealing with other females due to competition.


I think that's true. For me, it seems like girls are more cruel than guys. Sometimes guys bully me, but when girls do the bullying it's much worse because they seem more manipulative than guys.


You mean now, when you're 25, or when you were younger?


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26 Feb 2016, 9:20 am

"Be a man and look me in the eye" sounds to me like, "I dare you to look at my eyes. I can beat the crap out of you and we both know it, so go ahead and provoke me with your stare knowing my response will be to destroy you".

I don't know how I'd reäct, because the bottom line is always that there's no way around the fact that those physically able to beat the crap out of you will do it if they want to, and there's no honorable defence against it.

Years ago, I wouldn't even understand it's a dare, so I'd just blissfully stare into their eyes and they'd knock me out with a well-deserved punch like a nuke.


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26 Feb 2016, 5:45 pm

[MODERATOR]

For the last time, The Haven is not the place for criticism, bickering, or any other communication of an unsupportive nature.

I'm leaving this thread open in case Sly still finds value in this conversation; however, if certain posters continue to refuse to follow the rules of The Haven, it will be locked, and official warnings will be given.

[/MODERATOR]


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slw1990
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26 Feb 2016, 7:28 pm

100000fireflies wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
It could just be my perception as a male though-- females might be just as callous as men when dealing with other females due to competition.


I think that's true. For me, it seems like girls are more cruel than guys. Sometimes guys bully me, but when girls do the bullying it's much worse because they seem more manipulative than guys.


You mean now, when you're 25, or when you were younger?


Both, but it was much worse when I was in my teens and early twenties. Part f it might be because I'm not around as many people as I use to be though.



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26 Feb 2016, 7:31 pm

Usually, people 25 or over have better, more important things to do with their life than bully someone else.



slw1990
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26 Feb 2016, 7:49 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Usually, people 25 or over have better, more important things to do with their life than bully someone else.


I guess I wouldn't really know. I haven't hung out with anyone around my age in about 3 years. It just seems like a lot of older people still seem passive so I usually try to keep my distance.



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26 Feb 2016, 8:23 pm

slw1990 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Usually, people 25 or over have better, more important things to do with their life than bully someone else.


I guess I wouldn't really know. I haven't hung out with anyone around my age in about 3 years. It just seems like a lot of older people still seem passive so I usually try to keep my distance.

Slw, you sound very lonely. I empathize-- not feel sorry, but empathize.



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26 Feb 2016, 9:27 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Usually, people 25 or over have better, more important things to do with their life than bully someone else.


I guess I wouldn't really know. I haven't hung out with anyone around my age in about 3 years. It just seems like a lot of older people still seem passive so I usually try to keep my distance.

Slw, you sound very lonely. I empathize-- not feel sorry, but empathize.


Thank you, Aristophanes. :)

I am, but I felt much worse when I was around people who would mess with my head and exclude me. I think I feel better having very few people to hang out with than being around people that made me feel bad all the time.



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26 Feb 2016, 9:46 pm

slw1990 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Usually, people 25 or over have better, more important things to do with their life than bully someone else.


I guess I wouldn't really know. I haven't hung out with anyone around my age in about 3 years. It just seems like a lot of older people still seem passive so I usually try to keep my distance.

Slw, you sound very lonely. I empathize-- not feel sorry, but empathize.


Thank you, Aristophanes. :)

I am, but I felt much worse when I was around people who would mess with my head and exclude me. I think I feel better having very few people to hang out with than being around people that made me feel bad all the time.

Loneliness in a crowd is worse than being alone. The good news is that you're still young and things can change. If anything there's always socialization right here, and although we may only be avatars on a screen, we do think, we are alive, and we are still friends regardless of physical proximity.



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26 Feb 2016, 10:38 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
Aristophanes wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Usually, people 25 or over have better, more important things to do with their life than bully someone else.


I guess I wouldn't really know. I haven't hung out with anyone around my age in about 3 years. It just seems like a lot of older people still seem passive so I usually try to keep my distance.

Slw, you sound very lonely. I empathize-- not feel sorry, but empathize.


Thank you, Aristophanes. :)

I am, but I felt much worse when I was around people who would mess with my head and exclude me. I think I feel better having very few people to hang out with than being around people that made me feel bad all the time.

Loneliness in a crowd is worse than being alone. The good news is that you're still young and things can change. If anything there's always socialization right here, and although we may only be avatars on a screen, we do think, we are alive, and we are still friends regardless of physical proximity.


Yeah, it's not worth the stress. I've been meeting some good people on here. You seem like a nice person. :)