Addicted To Suffering.

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20 Sep 2019, 10:38 am

I've often wished there was something better than "quote trees," to be honest. I've always found them unwieldy.

And, sometimes, they do misquote people.

BenderRodriguez
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20 Sep 2019, 10:39 am

Amity wrote:

Isabella
Who is saying his heart is calcified?

That was my mistake - I was making a comment not related to Sly in response to a post that was directed at him :oops:

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IsabellaLinton
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20 Sep 2019, 10:39 am

Amity wrote:

Isabella
Who is saying his heart is calcified?

No one, I hope! :wink:

Maybe I read it wrong and if so I apologise for taking that word out of context. Someone mentioned "calcified hearts" and then elsewhere, someone was talking about members needing to show more compassion to others as a way of ending depression. I don't know if the word calcified was directed at him or anyone else in particular, but I wanted to vouch for the fact that he has always been a good friend to me.

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Fnord
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20 Sep 2019, 10:40 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:

... in regards to Sly ... I've seen him plenty of times offering support and kind words to others...

Sly is indeed one of the good people on this website.

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Amity
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20 Sep 2019, 10:42 am

Fnord wrote:

Amity wrote:

Also for some reason I have just remembered that troll that bullied Sly relentlessly starting a few years ago...

If she's the same one who tried to pass herself off as an angelic nurse, then you needn't concern yourself. She's gone.

This one had many, many reincarnations. It was hideous, beyond distressing to watch and be able to do nothing about. It's what led me to look out for chaps here.

IsabellaLinton
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20 Sep 2019, 10:49 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

I'm going to stand up for Sly and say that his heart is far from calcified, if that's what this reference implies. He's helped and supported me innumerable times, and he is always compassionate when I need a friend. He's been among the most altruistic people I've met on WP. Yes, depression is a factor, but his heart is certainly not calcified and he is not self-centred.

I agree in regards to Sly, which is why I explicitly mentioned I'm not referring to him - I've seen him plenty of times offering support and kind words to others.

The quote tree directed this whole thing towards him, but if he's still reading this I'll reassure him once more that I didn't write my post with him in mind, but addressed what I consider some excellent suggestions made by Amity.

Thanks for clarifying. Yes, quote trees can get confusing, and I tend to read quickly / skim through them. I just wanted to make sure people wouldn't misunderstand. You and Amity are very compassionate members, you are always supportive, and I know that we all want the best for Sly as well as others.

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Amity
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20 Sep 2019, 10:52 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Amity wrote:

Isabella
Who is saying his heart is calcified?

No one, I hope! :wink:

Cool, quote tree, crossed wires.

I was suggesting ways for Sly to start building self compassion as a means to help challenge how hard he is on himself, it wouldn't end depression though... if only.

Fnord
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20 Sep 2019, 10:59 am

Amity wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Amity wrote:

Also for some reason I have just remembered that troll that bullied Sly relentlessly starting a few years ago...

If she's the same one who tried to pass herself off as an angelic nurse, then you needn't concern yourself. She's gone.

This one had many, many reincarnations. It was hideous, beyond distressing to watch and be able to do nothing about. It's what led me to look out for chaps here.

Mmm ... yes ... she's gone too.

"We can no longer say her name." -- Hugh Jackman, as Drover in the movie Australia

BenderRodriguez
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20 Sep 2019, 11:01 am

This is for sly:

While I imagine some people and yourself might put you in the category of people who didn't make any changes and complain about the same things, I'll mention here that I disagree. While you're still stuck in some regards in your own life, I think you made significant progress along the years in your personal growth and I've seen a big shift in how you relate and talk to others here.

I'll also mention that I really enjoyed some exchanges with you in the PPR, your posts were insightful, well informed and shed some light for me regarding a subject I didn't know much about.

I agree with people here that you have a good heart and that many of us really see a lot of potential in you and wish to see you happy.

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red_doghubb
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20 Sep 2019, 11:03 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:

This is for sly:

While I imagine some people and yourself might put you in the category of people who didn't make any changes and complain about the same things, I'll mention here that I disagree. While you're still stuck in some regards in your own life, I think you made significant progress along the years in your personal growth and I've seen a big shift in how you relate and talk to others here.

I'll also mention that I really enjoyed some exchanges with you in the PPR, your posts were insightful, well informed and shed some light for me regarding a subject I didn't know much about.

I agree with people here that you have a good heart and that many of us really see a lot of potential in you and wish to see you happy.

this was a general remark. I don't follow sly's threads enough to comment on his issues.

Fnord
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20 Sep 2019, 11:08 am

@Sly: Dude, if you were here right now, I'd buy the next round for you!

kraftiekortie
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20 Sep 2019, 11:15 am

Sly knows lots about history, cars, guns, and some other things I don’t know about.

Marknis
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20 Sep 2019, 11:21 am

magz wrote:

Marknis wrote:

She told me she wanted me to get a vasectomy because she thought I would have sex in college, even when it was clear I couldn’t even get a f*****g coffee date. She also told me she didn’t want me to have children. I hope she’s happy because that’s what she caused me to become.

Another reason to get as far away from her as possible.

She keeps telling me there is nothing wrong with me living with her, that most “Millennials” (I don’t subscribe to that term for myself.) live with their parents, and that it shouldn’t keep women from dating me. It’s just more of her control freak nature since she knows damn well that the redneck men she loves so much have mocked me for still living with her and part of the reason why I didn’t succeed at speed dating was because I still lived at home as well as only worked part time. Those two things can make people start avoiding you because they think something’s wrong with you.

kraftiekortie
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20 Sep 2019, 11:24 am

Nobody succeeds at "speed dating."

BenderRodriguez
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20 Sep 2019, 11:28 am

red_doghubb wrote:

BenderRodriguez wrote:

I thought that Amity touched on a crucial point here that making a deliberate effort towards others can sometimes help with our own pain too.

This requires self awareness as well as awareness of others on the part of the person in pain. But often when someone is enveloped in deep enough pain they are incapable of this level of awareness.

You're right, but I think it's possible to gain such awareness - I understand you don't know enough about him, but Sly is actually somebody who did it as a result of his interactions here

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magz
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20 Sep 2019, 11:43 am

Marknis wrote:

magz wrote:

Marknis wrote:

Another reason to get as far away from her as possible.

Who cares for what she says? The point is what you need.
Not for dating but for building your healthy self esteem - which most likely will help on the romance scene as well.

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