Hatred Sucks.

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To vent a little about an on-going personal problem, just like anyone else's purpose for starting a thread in The Haven.

Sure, I may have been insensitive to previous Haven posters, but that does not justify any of the slanderous attacks against me.

In recovery we have a saying, "if you spot it, you got it." I have anger issues. I can be ugly. Am I working on it? Yes. Am I there yet? Nope.

Fnord seems to have anger issues. But, he's learned to disguise it in righteous indignation. I, on the other hand tend to just let it all hang out. And I get into trouble here and in real life. The Mods let Fnord express his righteous indignation (anger), because of the WAY he expresses it. He can be telling someone to go straight to hell, but because he does not say, "go to hell," he gets away with it. If someone would report this site, they would not necessarily condemn Fnord, because he has said, " goest thou to the left and make thy leisurely descent into the deep, hot and secret places of the universe," because they don't know Fnord. Where as, 'go straight to hell,' is universally understood.

However, the Mods do know Fnord. They know he's telling a lot of us to go to hell on a regular basis. But because they also know that the words he's using ( he could be inviting us on a trip to the hot springs ) can't be used against them, to shut down the site, they let him get away with it.

So, it's either up our game. Or, request a place to duke it out. Or, I don't know.

What I do know is that I've been on the receiving end of Fnord's anger before. But, I also meet anger head on.

In the sake of making headway, I'll give it a rest.

And yet, here you are defending me.

What's up with that?

I'm sorry for making you feel angry. It was wrong of me to do so.

There's nothing new or localized about this phenomenon. It has existed on WP for longer than I have been a member, according to Fnord. Also if I understood him correctly Fnord says the phenomenon has always existed. He basically (again as I understood it) said that he has had haters everywhere he has been in his life. So based on all that, this is not some recent development that was started by someone behind closed doors hatching a plot. It's been an ongoing thing for pretty much of Fnord's entire time on WP based on what he himself has said.

The idea of the Haven (as I understand it) is a person brings up something they are having a problem with. And those replying to the thread try to figure out why the problem exists and then try to figure out what the solution is.

The question is why, according to Fnord, has he always received a lot of hate? And how can that be resolved?

I've learned to live with you, Fnord! You've improved a lot in my opinion. But you're never too old to learn and I reckon you can still learn a few things, even taking into account that old saying about teaching old dogs new tricks. Your thinking is too rigid and that's something no amount of laundry detergent is likely to have much effect on!

I don't believe any members really hate each other on this site. If they met you, you could always discuss your differences at Starbuck's rather than draw out the long knives and hold a duel on the Boulevard.

I believe it matters because you have come to the conclusion that what's going on is the result of Ferris PMing members to gang up on Fnord, if I read you correctly. I have been here a lot longer than you, and I have read a multitude of comments of the sort domineekee presented as they occurred. Like I said in my previous post there is nothing remotely new about this. So I think you can dispense with that notion.

Again the main question. Why has this problem virtually always existed and what is the remedy? What will help Fnord in this matter?

Last edited by EzraS on 30 Oct 2019, 6:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

A common thread seems to be: (1) I am arrogant; (2) I have influence with Authority that others don't have; (3) I am somehow at fault for someone else's actions; and (4) I am an evil genius mastermind hell-bent on destroying other people's sanity, lives, and careers.

(1) - Could be true. I see it more as confidence, however, and people who lack confidence see it otherwise.
(2) - Unlikely. I just stick to the facts and let all the evidence speak for itself.
(3) - Unlikely. I can't even get my cat to come when I call her (unless I open a can of Little Friskies).
(4) - Since #2 and #3 are unlikely, then this one is simply impossible.

I don't know. Give my detractors something else to occupy their time, perhaps?

No, it wasn't wrong of you to do so. You are not responsible for how I feel, I am. What is wrong is for other people to be shut down, while you are left to do whatever, simply because you are a long timer, with a less straightforward way of communicating your disgust for another member. People are mad at you for knowing how to manipulate better, when the real fault lies with management.

Such a what?

I disagree. The notion should be looked into, and if banished members can still PM other members and stir up trouble, then that loophole in the system should be plugged.Haters gotta hate.What has previously helped in this matter: Waggle a few fingers at the haters, tell them to behave, and hope that they comply.

I mean, it's always worked before, hasn't it?

Darn!

"That's just my game!" Doc Holiday~Tombstone

Cats are much less influenced by others than people.

I don't know. Besides, any further suggestions from me along this line of inquiry is likely to stir up even more hostility, no matter what I say or how I say it.

Can you avoid your detractors' threads, Fnord?

Just as if you see someone in town you really have no time for, you might cross the street to avoid them?

Try not to comment on threads unless you have something constructive to offer. By now, you should have an idea of those here who don't appreciate your advice or remarks.

(if you can't say anything nice in response to Thread X, then rather keep your thoughts to yourself...)

@Persephone: Thank you! A good ol' Western duel we can enjoy watching... but all over too soon!

"Kraftie: you're right. But since all cats are reputed to be Aspies, those of us on here should be like them!!

According to your own testimony it goes a lot deeper than having been insensitive to Haven posters.