(C-)PTSD Thread

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I f*****g hate people who do this and think they are excused because it happened to them. My mother was the same. She was absolutely without shame the way she treated us and she will absolutely never be forgiven. If that makes me bitter and twisted till the end of time then so be it, I can live with that.

I told my therapist that when she dies I will go and shít on her grave. I f*****g mean it too.

I laughed. He didn't because he's not supposed to encourage me.

TW for SA

I want to tear off my skin.

Wel don't do that but know you're amongst people who can at least sympathise with you.

I think I'm coming out of crisis mode, for now. All well and good, since I have to be presentable for work today.

Well you're very brave

I'm done crying my eyes out, but I feel like I'm going to have the most awful intrusive thoughts for at least a few days.

That is horrible!! I’m SO sorry.

Probably but you're strong

Belts were common..mainly a Dad thing , mum used a wire coathanger ...And yes even the crying afterwards
was cause for further punishment .....It was maddening . And refused to identify it with any type of Love..
But rather it seemed it was based on ignorance ..Inspite of all other demonstrations of intelligence .
Hard to believe it would have been hand me down behaviour from their parents . If they understood empathy.??

Yeah, in my family, abuse was passed on from one generation to the next. Us Millennial and Generation Z parents aren’t abusive, though, so that’s something. We have a lot more research at our disposal when it comes to parenting although I’m not sure why people would think that beating their kids is a good thing with or without research. It boggles my mind. My family members who aren’t sociopathic thought that corporal punishment was upheld by scripture, but still…

My partner learned about egregious childhood abuse when he was young.
It happened to him and his female cousin.
It happened by both of their fathers.
That's why we did our pilgrimage to BC.
We were on a very traumatic fact-finding mission.

I'm still processing a lot of rage from what we discovered.
The posts here about remembering childhood abuse have been triggering.
That's why I'm not posting, or even reading much of it.

I can't deal.

I wish you all well though.

Hugs from me and MR.

I don’t blame you for needing to take a step back. What you’ve been facing is very fresh and very raw. I’m hoping that you’re both hanging in there. It’s a horrible thing to go through and relive.

There are some things that are hard to even admit to myself. Things that I don't even fully know how to verbalise but they're still there like formless, wordless thoughts. I just can't pull them together.

My father suffered from C-PTSD. He was physically abused by his father when he was young (growing up in the great depression era). That particular grandfather died years before I was born. My dad referred to him as “one mean, angry SOB” that I was very lucky not to meet. At times, he would remember things and break down for a while. I have stories that he told me of the abuse, but I do not want to trigger anyone here. My dad learned how to be a great father to me and my sister by doing the opposite of what his father did to him.

I suffer from it, but not because of my parents. It was caused by prolonged constant bullying by classmates. It is something I cannot escape from no matter how much time passes. If only I could learn to forget.

Have read this type of issue many times ...And although its reality may never go away , a technique by which , I have tried to re- catagorize it It helps me not to get into dwelling on it as much or as long during episodes of memory.. ..and perhaps rather than victim thinking ...might be to use "modern psyche techniques" to help reframe those experiences. Thise peoples lifes had to be pretty shallow and very possibly distrubed in order for
them to feel (( value to themselves))..........
AT THAT AGE was to bully & etc... And you gotta wonder ? what happened to them ? to be drawn to behave as such?
And try to hold onto this thought ,immediately , when your thoughts , head off in that direction .
I believe this method can/ will , allow some level of healing ,if practiced regularily .
.( SELF PITY : disclaimer/ warning)Am seriously sorry ,i had to ever be in such a position to self learn this with minor direction from 10 yrs of pysche stuff Docs..And have some empathy with every posting to this thread!...
Part below is written incase your feeling alittle religious ever , Provided you know the story of this mentioned Book.
"....................................................THINK some OLD BOOK.............................
said it best , when they wrote about some guy name Jesus Christ..? That when he was getting nailed to a Cross
said it best as a supposed quote ? written down 200 years after the fact wrote ""forgive them Father for they know not, What they do .""""

Warning: possible trigger ahead




Unfortunately some of the worse physical attacks I received were on church grounds and/or church related events. Church officials knew I was being bullied, yet they looked the other way. They did not want me to be linked to them, as the bullies had more social status. I have forgiven them for what they did, but the pain really never goes away. It is locked in my memories of that place in a particular song. Hell exists for me there, as it always will.

To clarify, I was not sexually molested there. My bullies attempted to do that at school and failed.