What’s on your mind? The Haven version.

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I'm nervous as heck about getting discharged from psychiatric outpatients tomorrow

I've been getting treatment for such a long time from the same doctor and I don't know what to say at the end

Do I just get up and leave or do I shake his hand or what

I'm not too bothered that I won't see him again (although he is giving me his number but I won't use it probably) but I just don't know what to say to him

Well that wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it might have been

Something cringe I posted a bit ago. Too bad I can't take it back now unless the internet in its entirety gets deleted and shutdown.

I don't associate passing as neurotypical as 'safe'.


The last time someone assumed I was an NT, it's to pressume suspicion and judgment.

The last time a peer assumed I was NT, it's to see how much desperate I'm to give into more expectations and demands all because they assumed that I'm lonely.

The last time my own mother thought I'm an NT was when she was beating the hell out of me for not acting like one.



So no.
I cannot relate to dodging bullies, putting my foot on the door with masking and all that people pleasing.

And I won't apologize for slamming the entire thing off.
And no, it's not even a culturally relative thing (knowing more autistics within my culture online since last year), it's really a me thing.

I'll take charm as much as creepiness.
But not the illusion of "normal" and conformity.

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Burning all my bridges sounds appealing at this point in time

I'm not even sure if I know my rights as a human sometimes

I can't remember when or why I even made that post

It must have felt really important to me at the time though

I have a severe sleep disorder and it's hard for me to maintain a sleep schedule or sleep at normal times. I was supposed to meet up with my bf today at 3pm but I had to cancel because I was too tired. I had planned to wake up at 2pm which was already a stretch but a phone call woke me up and then there was a thunderstorm. I've never cancelled on him before. I'm now supposed to see him tomorrow but I don't know if I'll be any better. I have chronic fatigue and I'm so tired all the time that it's very hard to just push through the lack of sleep and be present and alert. I'm feeling a bit panicked.

Sleeping issues can be so difficult to deal with. I’ve always struggled with insomnia. A sleeping pill is somewhat helpful for me but not when I’m very anxious/going through a rough patch with my anxiety. I was up for hours last night.

It’s especially hard when you can’t sleep and there are things you need or want to do. Not being able to sleep is a PTSD trigger for me, so I often can’t sleep because I’m anxious but not being able to sleep exacerbates my anxiety.

Curiosity can be a very dangerous thing.

I’m really proud of my kid. We just had this mildly triggering exchange:

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We never talked about this topic, and he doesn’t know about anything that I experienced. These are solely his thoughts/impressions. He wants to record future lectures with his phone.

Corollary: if you say stupid s**t it's a social consequence to get punched in the face.

Learned by experience in primary school.

I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm exhausted and scared and I can't do the things I need to do. I'm afraid of what is going to happen to me or what I am going to do. And that was before the election happened.

I don't want to be a burden to the few people in my life but I can't cope and I don't know what else I can be.

The problem is that...

.. I don't have a problem that I can solve immediately.
I don't have a problem that I can solve by just working on it.

I don't have a problem that can be solved by my efforts overall.

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