WP Tribute to Sophie

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I was playing Tetris this afternoon, and it reminded me Sophie. Now I'll remember her every time I see something related with Russia.

This is very sad news.

I never knew Starbuline personally, but I remember seeing her around WP from when I first joined and it is so sad that she's gone.

RIP

I remember her posts, she was an interesting person.
It is heratbreaking to think of the depth of suffering she must have felt to do this.

I myself really don't know what to say.

I was beginning to write a story about what I would be willing to do to get to her, from all the way here, in a fictional sense, and now I'm dedicating the story to her memory.

I wrote a poem in her memory myself called The Stars in the Sky. You can find it in Random Discussion.

Starbuline was someone whose posts I always enjoyed reading. The only time I argued with her was that dust-up a while back over one of the people here dating a person much younger than theirself. Starbuline made fun of that person and I got quite angry with her over that.
Her avatars almost always made me sad. I'm sure they were pics of her. There was one of her in a dress, on her kness by a tree, crying, with such a sad expression. I'll always remember that pic, she was pretty, and this pic of her crying bitter tears was heart-breaking.
If there was ever to be a convention of WP members, she was one I wanted to meet.
She was so young....

Those weren't pictures of her Prof, namely pictures of Lijla from her favourite movie. I remember that one well, as I did a multitude of others.

I remember when we used to talk on the phone together. Her voice would always make me smile because it sounded so sweet and soothing. We often had long breaks where neither of us would be able to think about anything to talk about.

I know it's a double-post, but I had another item to contribute.

I made a LOTR Montage using shots from the film, and it has the song In The West playing, which, if you know the lyrics, are especially touching. Sophie loved the films, mainly due to Rohan because she loved horses. Well, she loved any animal, but she loved horses especially. So here it is.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gArYJ4cgsc[/youtube]

How perfectly awful.
I'm sorry to here it.
The world is diminished and there is a star missing from the heavens.
BTDT

I read through this thread and so sounds like a nice person. My only regret is that I never had the chance to know her. Maybe I can say something to help others.

They say that you need to remember only the good about someone. However, I disagree. No one is perfect, we all have our good moments and we all have our bad. Sometimes we do things perfectly and other times we make mistakes. The choices we make in life mold us into who we are -- all the choices. We learn from everything we do and they guide us through life. To just remember the good about someone, is to only remember half of that person — we must remember people for who they were: flaws and all. To remember the complete person you do them justice and you honor their memory. You remember the complete person of who they were in life and what made them who they were when you knew them. If someone had made a different choice somewhere in the past, they wouldn't be the same as they are now. The whole complete person is who you knew and that is who you love. You didn't just love their good parts, but you loved them for who they were. Remember the whole person, and be honored that you knew them. You had the honor the privledge to be in that person's life. As the song goes, "it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go." From what I read in this forum, she has left behind memories that are near and dear and will always be remembered. She has left behind knowledge and has shown love to many and many have shown love back to her. You are lucky to known her and my heart goes out to all.

I learned a lot of this thinking of my own Grandma who has failing health. She had her good moments, but there were times when things were rough (my mom and her fought a lot), but all those moments are what made my grandma who she was -- all those moments are what I will remember he by to honor her complete spirit. I hope I am not out of line with this post. I really wanted to post something good. I do care.

I would like to see this movie, but it looks too sad for me any time soon.

For those that haven't read it, here is the poem I wrote in her memory. This can also be found in Random, and the first verse is in my sig.

Starbuline... I always found it such a pretty name, but didn't know where it came from or what it meant. And it suited your character too. I assumed it was Russian because it sounded sort of Russian, and I thought you were really from Russia after I checked your profile out of curiosity. You were so attractive, and looked Russian. You HAD to be a Russian doll. Now I know more about you and I say you suited it perfectly. Snazzy dresser, like most Russian girls. In control of your weight, like most Russian girls (and perhaps, like most Russian girls, cranky because you see the Burger King sign across the street. ) This isn't slander, I'm just guessing here.


Hey, don't panic, I'm not trying to up my post count... if anyone accuses me of that the mods are welcome to give me a negative one!


Starb, I saw a potential friendship with you. You had a restlessness within you that reminded me of me. A desperate understimulation. When I was 16 I didn't recognize mine either. I was at least a little like you when I was 16. I had my close online friends and my board that was anti-the big board. I was a banned member and the admin too!


I almost cried when I saw that captioned picture on zOMG posted by Sopho that called you "my star"... it was so simple yet so eloquent. I still feel sad thinking about it. But it somehow stimulates me in some positive way.


I feel cheated that I never got to be friends with you. That I never saw the best of you. Maybe you'll like hearing that it wasn't your fault, maybe you won't because you're a proud person who seems to (in spite of herself) want people to believe yo uare in control and responsible for your own actions. You are. But depression really f***s with your life. If you weren't depressed, why did you kill yourself? There are so many different definitions of depression. I think you probably fit one of them, allow me to say that.


I somehow sense that you're probably happy. I hope you and KingCrimson are floating around together reading this and can float over to Russia whenever you want, and live happily ever after. Lucky you; you don't have to wait in line to get into the tourist attractions! I wanted to go to Russia too before. Because it's a place where so much s**t happened! (I'm disaster-happy.) And you and your Michael can spend eternity together just learning the language and sampling the food (I hope you can do that) and going into people's houses and floating around and learning about the Russian lifestyle!


If you saw this while alive and depressed, I wonder how you would have reacted, lol. I really hope (and I think) that you're happy where you are, and that you're watching over us. Don't forget your friends; ahayes is still really depressed. I know you're trying to comfort Sopho. I wish I could have apologized to you for saying I wanted to kill you. contemplated killing my mother too once. Just for a split second. But I contemplated it. It's nothing personal any more.

I enjoy talking to you; do you know that? I think you'd be amused. You might laugh at me, and maybe say "crazy b***h", but deep down you would be pleased, and I would see it in your eyes, and even on your face you wouldn't really be able to hide it. I noticed how you stopped kvetching about me after I wrote that thread all about you causing me to have a meltdown, the one that was locked. I already miss having you call me a b***h and a whore, do you know that?


I saw potential in you and I don't even know you. That's really saying something about you, you know. Normally I don't talk to dead people like this. I'd do it with Kimveer Gill or Cho Seung-Hui if I had the chance... people who showed real character... but I wouldn't have anything to say to the old lady who was my neighbor and died, for example. I'd just say "Rest in peace", and that's all I'd be able to manage. I feel a tenderness toward you, and I did to Kimveer Gill (though I never knew of him until after he was dead, and he never even knew I existed).


When I read that KingCrimson was into psychoactives I almost cried. He could have helped me get the right stimulants and antidepressants, lol. If he hadn't disliked me, I'd have been friends with him if I knew he existed. I didn't until after.


I know you have way better things to do than sit there listening to some crazy juvenile b***h who doesn't even really know you yammering on and on about you, but in case you're bored, I guess this'll give you something to do!


Good luck and God bless you both.


((Edited by gwenevyn 10/31/07--keeping things positive))

So disheartening... I don't know what to say except that this is a glaring reminder of the problems many Aspies face, especially adult Aspies. I have been suicidal many times in my life, and I know there are many Aspies on the boards who have been or are now. So sad. What can we do to help each other? I feel so helpless when things like this happen... like I want to reach out to others but I can't because there's a brick wall between myself and the rest of the world.