I'm sorry

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(((((((((Zach))))))))) Im just glad tha you are ok and have someone in real life to talk to. Stay safe, we are thinking of you.

Beautiful weather we are having here in the midst of the impending storm.....don't you think.......

A reminder - this is the Haven. Please keep that in mind before posting.


M.

I don't know what to say that would keep you from doing this Zack but I saw your link.

I can understand the feelings of life being over. I've gone homeless, put in so many rehabs, and hospitals. I have to say, I don't know the seriousness of your situation but suicide is not the answere. I've been there and you're either stuck in a hospital with tubes down your throat while you're strapped into a bed which is what's happened to me or worse...dead! Once you're dead there's no turning back.

I'm glad I didn't die because if I had, I wouldn't have seen the good stuff coming like the birth of my niece or getting the bond I got from my family once they trusted that I was clean and sober. Life has been an up and down creek for me so I try and look at it like a journey.

No matter what you're going through right now, it is not the end. Life has its phases and this might pass but like I said, I really don't know your situation right now. I realize you're upset but if you know you haven't done anything wrong..(whatever the wrong was) then you know your acts will eventually reflect what positive aspects you've contributed.

Please don't do it. I had lost a friend a while back and it made me madder than anything. You're only going to make it worse for your child.

And I really feel for you in that video. You're a good looking kid with such a long life ahead of you, don't do it!

I know what it feels like to be so overwhelmed that you don't know what to do and it seems like every way you turn you face a brick wall. I hope you can find the way to the right people and ask for help. I think you need medical attention. I am thankful that you are still here with us. There are so many people here that want you to be OK. Please keep posting.

get some sleep
find your phone
call Ari

I know you feel panicky right now but you don't have to figure it all out right now. You are not strong enough now and you have to take care of yourself before you can do anything else. You need to get well so you can show them that you can take care of your child. I am a recovering alcoholic. I understand under the circumstances if you have angry feelings about alcoholics. I had to face the fact that I would eventually lose the privilege of raising my son if I didn't get help. The thought of that was so intolerable to me that I knew my only choice was to get well or die. My son has Asperger's and I think I might too. He is 11 now and I got sober when he was 2. I am so thankful I can be there because I know how confusing and lonely this world can be for him. Maybe Ari can't fix things for you now but I hope you don't give up hope. Maybe now is the time for you to make an appointment with a doctor. You are in a severe depression and this is paralyzing you. Ask someone to make the appointment for you if you need to. Sometimes you have to take things step by step and put your other worries on the shelf for later. I know you can't see your way out right now but you just need to ask for help and by that I mean in your town. You need someone to take action for you more than you need advice. Please keep posting even if all you have to say is "I'm still here".

Go and see Ari anyway. You need people who can advise and help you. Glad to read you are still ok.