Going Crazy

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I don't know why there's even more of a fixation on WP about being labelled, since I was previously here a couple of years ago..

Unless you really need government assistance, or learning support, it's ok to diagnose yourself and think oh ok I have some traits of Aspergers. This then links me to a group of like minded internet people.

Different Psychiatrists and Psychologists can be known to give different diagnosis to the same person, because it is a matter of opinion, at the end of the day, especially for people right on the borderline, that might just be a bit eccentric or have a different personality to others around them.

I do recommend trying the online tests in the General Autism Discussion area, particularly the Eye Reading, Face recognition, and empathising-systemising quotient.

I have learning problems. I knew about Asperger's long before I've joined WP (people have mentioned that I have it), but only about the social aspect, so I didn't care as much. Then I began looking into my anxiety/attention problems and found Asperger's again. It's like all roads lead to Asperger's for me.
I've just finished writing a philosophy paper. It took me 10 hours to write a four-page paper, double-spaced. An average 30-minute homework assignment can take me 2 hours. Right now, I'm only taking four academic courses at school, so I'm able to study and have some spare time left for other pursuits. At university, it will be much harder, and that's why I feel like I need the diagnosis.

Last year, I was completely lost. I did not apply to university. I wanted to follow my friend's path and go into sciences, even though I was miserably failing at it. I did not know who I was, and blindly waited for destiny to guide me. After discovering Asperger's, I've realized what my true abilities are, and what I actually enjoy doing. There really is some good to the label, after all.

I'm just trying to identify why some of my traits are so different. It's a good thing that people have mentioned ADHD... it's got me wondering now. I've had trouble concentrating on my work ever since I've started school. I still remember my second cursive writing assignment; my mom left me in the kitchen to do it and then went to sleep, and I sat there stimming for one hour, doing it in short bursts of concentration, and my mom coming back after one hour and saying that I've done it very poorly...

I've considered ADHD. But I think I also have dyspraxia, i'm similar with the homework thing. It takes me SO long to write something in comparison to anyone else. Dyspraxia is common with AS, I have a weird walk.. I mean something that has been commented on at every school i've been to. Even my doctor said something when I went into the hospital on a totally unrelated matter. I fit every single symptom of dyspraxia except having low muscle tone, some of those could be ADHD as well.

I've also considered PDD-NOS over AS. As far as social deficits, I just don't know how to start a conversation or make friends. Whenever I had friends it was sheer luck. I believe I possibly have ADD but there are way too many things in common I have with AS. I actually look at youtube videos in a attempt to see how people who are confirmed to be diagnosed with AS behave. There are differences.. I can make eye contact.. with people i'm not nervous around 75% of the time. But it is literally so bad, I can't do it with family members.. the only person I know who I make eye contact with is my girlfriend.

When I worked at a restaurant, talking to a person for the first time normally ranged from just being okay, to being great. The second time tho, I like literally had nothing to say past "How are you doing today?" So these people thinking they have some sort of rapport with me... are like "What the?"

I cannot think on my feet with people i've just met, being witty or being funny is impossible. BUT if I find out they have similar interests, its easy. None of my co-workers liked psychology, sociology, video games or anything else I liked. But we did get to talk indirectly about behaviorism (behavior of customers) so that kept me in the social game... A LITTLE.


I also cannot talk to two people at once, I started to realize that as i've been going through the posts of people confirmed to be on the spectrum. I always hung out with one friend at a time. Now i'm realizing that situations in which i'm nervous, usually involve me interacting with more than one person. To the point, I don't think its nervousness at all. Just me being overstimulated.

I also have intense interests that can prevent me from socializing, I'm on this site and another one every day without fail almost. My interests change.. rarely. I'm into video games, psychology, sociology, humanities, behaviorism, etc. Its very hard for me to get into a conversation otherwise.

I'm kind of trying to observe "NT" behavior myself, i've seen NTs get bullied and it changes nothing. They're depressed and down on themselves.. but they're still outgoing, social, etc. If i'm too social, I need downtime or it becomes a problem. If NTs are too quiet, it becomes "I'm bored" and thats a problem for them.

I don't know if what I have is AS or not, I think at the very least.. PDD-NOS. I fit a lot of symptoms for AS, but I don't do some things, like stim. Also other things I grew out of, I used to take everything literally. Didn't understand sarcasm, etc. Now I understand sarcasm... 75% of the time? I can also tell when someone is speaking figuratively, vs being literal.

Hey girl! You sound like me!! Sometimes I can't stop talking...I stop myself...realize NO one can relate to my rant on quantum physics (that started out as a chat about the weather today) and then crawl into myself out of embarrsesment.
I also live in an acid trip.
I've never had acid...but I know folks that have, whenever they describe their over-whelming feelings and visions, I can't help but think "welcome to MY world."
sigh ...

Same... I have synesthesia, mostly with words and music (auditory and associative), and sounds are often very strong for me. Visual stimuli don't bother me as much, which is good, I guess, because some people struggle with both. Certain physical stimuli can also be overwhelming, especially light touch and the feel of certain materials. I actually once told a friend that I feel like I'm on an acid trip! Hos response was, how do you know that you feel like you're on acid if you've never had any? I've considered doing it after, and that same friend was going to get me some, but he then told me that he doesn't feel good about giving it to me. I will probably steer clear of drugs, but on the other hand, it's very interesting to see what the hallucinogens will do to my mind...

I have an Aspie co-worker who is very extroverted. Unfortunately for him it makes his social problems a LOT more obvious (that he is less intellectually high-functioning than many Aspies, his IQ is around 90, makes it worse because he's not very self-conscious or introspective), He'll, for example say something he thinks is totally harmless, not realizing he just insulted somebody's weight. I told him that other people might think what he said was rude and he just didn't get how other people could interpret what he said as insulting and starting throwing a fit.

The funny thing is that despite his social problems that he picked up a GF easily and is getting married next summer, LOL!