When is this going to stop?!

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Ugh.....excuse me...."THEIR cousin's friend's daughter"

*fixed*

I think the problem is that many people are suspicious of "the quiet ones." See, every time you hear about some guy from the postal service or something going nuts and shooting up a bunch of co-workers, you always here how everybody's surprised because he was so quiet, therefore people would not have ever considered him capable. So then when news stories like that circulate, then the whole 'quiet thing' takes a new twist. Instead of being viewed as benevolent or at least harmless, quiet people take on a whole level of suspicion, as people wonder idly if/when they are going to snap.

So I'd say, trying to get the Quiet Ones to talk, is to determine the person's personality and perhaps level of threat. Or perhaps they hope to nip the 'snaps suddenly and guns down 27 people' thing in the bud because they assume that being friendly is the cure, because they do not know any better. They may suspect the person is quiet because nobody is nice to them.

Personally, if I KNOW someone is the 'quiet type' and am given full disclosure on the nature of the quietness, I am perfectly happy to let them be themselves without pestering them.

There has to be a way to let people know you're not a threat or some sort of problem, so that they don't start doing the very thing that probably made that poor guy snap and shoot 3 or 4 coworkers.

^^ and that might be a bit counter productive, as badgering the 'quiet ones' to talk might click that very same trigger. Oh, it is a desperate world out there!

I know it's annoying to deal with. But NTs get worried about stuff just like aspies do. You may worry about saying the wrong thing to someone excessively. Well, they worry about your silence. A lot of NTs need to learn to understand other people just as much as aspies do. And need to train themselves to understand that silence doesn't *always* mean someone is upset.
And don't worry about the funny thing. I'm sure they have good intentions, and see it as just your quirk.

This sort of thing drives me crazy. It annoys me that people jabber on endlessly about nothing. But I don't give them a hard time about it. So long as you're not hurting anyone, live and let live, etc. Then to be denied that same basic respect...

Anyway, 30 years old and it hasn't stopped yet. Probably won't.

it starts to turn into a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation. Did the Quiet One™ snap because he was too bothered, or because everybody refused to pay attention to him?

Perhaps the safest course of action is to just let the Quiet Ones™ be. At least then there's no passive aggression involved.

I am one of the quiet ones, that's just how I naturally am; shy quiet, an introvert and I think I possibly would have been this way even if I didn't have AS. Speaking doesn't come naturally to me as a way of communicating and my natural inclination is always to be a passive observer rather than an active participant in conversation.
For most of my time at school I had similar experiences to those that the OP describes. I was asked all the time 'Why are you so quiet?' 'why don't you speak?' 'why are you shy?' etc. Some people thought I was a snob and most everyone thought I was just very unsociable,and wasn't making any effort to be friendly. I would have liked to have a friend, to be liked, to fit in and to be accepted by my peers more than anything but I just didn't have the skills or the confidence to make it happen. And I was bullied, mocked and socially ostracised for it. At that time I had never heard of AS and would never have thought of myself as autistic. In the absence of a diagnostic 'label' my identity was shy, quiet, doesn't talk and people think you're strange for that so weird, odd, peculiar, crazy also became a big part of my identity. That also became my self-identity and that kind of negative self-image doesn't easily go away, even now that I have a diagnosis.
As a young adult, people often asked me if I speak english and I still get that sometimes. People tend to assume I am foreign and ask me where I am from. I have been asked by some people whether I can talk. Personally I think those people are rude and ignorant and if anything they make my problems worse by making me feel more self-conscious about my difficulties. Worst of all is when people say in hushed tones to the person sitting next to them 'Can she talk?' when they themselves have not made any effort to speak to or interact with me and haven't given any indication that they want to interact with me. If they don't have a problem with communication themselves, then why not try talking to me just to say 'hello' and find out that way if I can speak This actually happened in a MIND (mental health) centre where people go in the first place because they have mental health problems and where I might have hoped for a little more understanding.
I don't have these kind of experiences as much now because I don't any longer put myself out there nearly as much as I used to. For the most part I am quite happy in my own company. If I went out socially I'm sure I would still get lots of comments about how quiet I am. I go to jewellery classes where I am busy doing stuff most of the time anyway and where people accept me as I am. I also have been doing voluntary work for about the last year, The people there know I'm autistic and they don't make personal remarks at least not to my face.
I now realise that as well as having AS I have suffered from selective mutism all my life. I have very severe inhibition around speaking, especially in a group situation and this affects my physical ability to speak. If I am in a situation where I have to talk I know that my voice sounds weird, really tense and really different to how I sound when I am more relaxed. I feel embarrassed about this and feel very self-conscious about how I sound.
I hope this might be of some help to anybody who feels uneasy around quiet people (I am far more scared of them) and who might feel suspicious of our motives.

I get this too. A lot.

One time I was in the pet shop making my way to the bulk-buy cat food section, and a man walked past saying "smile, it might never happen" - one phrase that I, to this day, do not understand at all. That pissed me off. I was absolutely fine, I just have to concentrate on walking, SORRY IF I DON'T SMILE WHEN I CONCENTRATE, BUT IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. *cough* I mean, what if my mother had just died or something? Could I have turned round and said "well actually, it already HAS happened" and embarrass the hell out of him? I think if something like that does happen at some point I'm really going to let rip.

Then the friend thing. I have a friend who I've known for a few years now. He's now going out with another of my friends (different circle), and they're all smoochy and everything. God I hate that sound. Anyway, we went out to walk her dogs on the beach, and I felt a bit queasy (6 weeks pregnant and don't I know it), but quite happy because I was out of the house and it was a nice sunny day, and he kept telling me to cheer up, what's wrong etc, because I'd been looking around and not paying much attention (sorry for being autistic eh). Then we went to a beer festival that night, and me being munchkin-bound I couldn't drink, but I was still happy to be there. Again I zoned out because my bf and our friend were talking about something I wasn't all that bothered about, and he went up to my ear and said "cheer up!" - this causes me to jump out of my skin, and get slightly annoyed. Again I tell him I'm fine, and my face does what it wants, I can't control it. But I am starting to get pissed off at this point. After that, I was feeling really sick, because of course I have to have night sickness to be different, and he asked me what was up and I said "nothing I just feel sick", and that was fine. But we get to the pub after the festival, and I'm feeling REALLY horrible. He asks me yet again what's up and yet again I say "I feel sick, I told you last time you asked me", he goes "things just go in one ear and out the other", and I reply "don't bother asking then"! We end up round her house and I'm still feeling bad and in need of food, and he tells me to cheer up again! THIS was the last straw - I ended up screaming at him. He shut up after that. I said "I WAS FINE UNTIL YOU KEPT TELLING ME TO CHEER UP - NOW IM PISSED OFF"

It does make me angry.. it's a pet hate of mine. Unfortunately the only cure I've found for it is not being near people.

This is getting far worse than I could possibly imagine.

It's only been 6 days into a new academic quarter and I have gotten so much crap for being quiet today from people who know that I talk.

I cant take anymore of this you guys.

I already have the stress of classes and zero money and a family who is blaming me for the neighbors being angry at us for the dogs disruptive behavior just because I'm the only one who's home all the time (none of the dogs belong to us btw).

I dont need to get this elementary school crap at a work school of all places.

I mean I knew people were gonna get on me for it eventually ever since I started going to this school (the one I'm being forced by the family to got to btw),but to get so much of this treatment out of nowhere in such a short amount of time (from people who know I'm quiet sometimes) it's really getting to me and I'm about to lose it. I told them it upsetted me and they just teased me back for it in my face not caring that it upsetted me.

I'm supposed to graduate end of September (depending if I can keep above a C in these classes). Dunno if I can deal with all of this crap till then. I sure cant wait to go to my externship, if it's anything like when I did the WDW college program, I'm due to be teased relentlessly.

Could you not tell them the more they comment on it, the more self-conscious and the quieter you'll get?