depressed

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My mother worries a lot, too. I think there's a problem beyond AS because I've had two people with AS reject me in real life so far, and one over private messaging on WP.

Maybe I'm a bit further down the spectrum in terms of my social ability so it's difficult for those with milder AS to fully understand me. Again, I have no idea.

Just because they give it doesn't mean they can take it. I'm actually afraid of people with low functioning autism.

Don't give up because two or three people rejected you. It's statistically insignificant, and it's normal for people to have to try many times before they get accepted. I said most people are idiots, and they're also jerks, some of the time. That includes me.

I wish I could come visit you, especially with all this hot weather, it's awful. I actually have an acquaintance there, though I'd never find him.

Oh no, my stalker side is showing. Don't worry, I don't have a passport, and it takes 7 years to get one.

I'm trying to be funny....I should just give up, right..?

Edit: My avatar really doubles the creepiness doesn't it? wow...

No worries. I'd love to meet you. I'm not judgemental of people, and I've never seriously accused anyone of being a stalker.

I feel rather comfortable with people who have more severe forms of autism. I'm scared of the higher functioning people. This is what makes me think that I'm more autistic than other people with Asperger's, even though I've been told by one person that I come across as relatively normal. Other people say that I show some very distinct autistic traits when I interact. That one person was probably lying, probably to try to make me feel good or something. The truth is, I don't mind. I'm actually quite happy to be different, because among people on the spectrum, I feel like I belong.

I glad there are people you feel happy with. I don't believe that you're at all low-functioning though. My mom is totally NT and likes working with various low-functioning people at my church. If anything, I'd say you have low self-esteem. I had to check twice to know you have AS. Just remember that you belong with NT's too. We're all human.

I don't have low self esteem. If anything, my self esteem is pretty high most of the time, but it always takes a plunge once I experience rejection. However, I feel very detached from most NTs. It's like we speak a different language. I wouldn't say I feel extremely comfortable with everyone who's on the spectrum, either, but at least I feel better around them than around NTs.

I boost my self esteem by spending time with people on the spectrum, and then go into the world of NTs with an adequate amount of confidence. Once that gets depleted, I have to go back to my circle of friends and replenish that supply.

I feel empty, like I want to hold someone, and need infinite reassurance, but at the same time feel completely hopeless.

That's probably how I would feel if I didn't have that group of people I can always go back to.

Oh, and also... you can't truly tell who's lower functioning and who's higher functioning online until you meet them in real life. On this forum, most of us can express ourselves very well.

So true....But at the very least, you are an intelligent human being, and I like you.

Is it bad that I turn down my brothers' offers to go to ball games and big festivals? I just hate crowds and get bored, you know? Everybody seems to think I'm rude...

No, I wouldn't go to these things, either. They're a waste of time. I'd rather sit down and have a nice chat with a few people.

You enjoy talking to groups of people? The very thought makes me cringe....one person is plenty for me.

Oh no, my writing class has infected my brain! what on very earth does "very" mean?

:D I'm an extrovert. And I have Asperger's. Odd, eh?

If this offends you, please just ignore it....At what level of.....perversion.....do you feel you would be unwilling to accept a person? It's just been bothering me for some time....I don't know If I should even try to be with people....if I'm not.....acceptable....I won't say how bad it is unless you want to know.

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Congratulations, you have stumbled upon my "irrational beliefs" area. And you probably won't like what I have to say on the subject.

I do not react positively to any form of sexual expression. To me, sex is a basic, instinctual behaviour. It is not rational. It does not intellectually enrich you. All it does it to fulfill your basic, selfish, animalistic desires. These desires occupy a part of your mind that can be used for an intelligent pursuit, to either perfect a skill or to expand your knowledge. Even though being humans, we are still animals, I find beauty in the side of humans that makes us human, and I frown upon anything that is based on an inbuilt instinct. Because when you perform such an act, you are letting your emotions overtake you, and your morals are suppressed.

Hope you don't mind me adding a little opinionated nugget in here.

I realize what you mean about the suppression of morals but you said it yourself, for all the shiny covers and slick instruments, we are all still animals (albeit with a fancy name) and by suppressing our instinct we deny our place in the natural order thus causing the serious unbalance that you so dislike (the destruction of nature). I really cannot think what good our intellect can now do, the path humanity has chosen will ultimately lead to it's destruction because it doesn't matter how many gadgets we develop or how we evolve to adapt to these gadgets we are the same as the earth we walk on in spirit and in form (we will always rely on the elements around us to sustain this form). Sure we could easily augment our physiology and whole life with silicon and steel to overcome the need for earthly sustainance but we'd become nothing more than an artificial husk. The day this happens humanity is gone.

Call me a Luddite but I believe our "intellect" is a step not forwards, but towards a pretty bleak future.

intellect does not have to be directed towards material pursuits, such as the creation of new technology and urban expansion.
i think people are very limited when it comes to social understanding and acceptance, and are only beginning to be more accepting of minorities.
being an intelligent person is not about science, but about obeying a simple rule of doing unto others as they would do unto you. it's about suppressing your own selfish desires and living for others as opposed to yourself. i think people are becoming more isolated than ever, especially with the gadgets that absorb all of their attention. they need to try to learn about what people beyond their own social scope are like, to explore all sides to humanity, and to do that not through media, but through real-life experiences. thanks to the gadgets, we live in a simulation of reality, which is more accessible but promotes stereotyping and thus a false image of reality.

the development of science and technology is driven by capitalism, and is therefore also very self-centered. it's not about people expressing themselves for mutual benefit, it's about economy and power. people create these things because they know that they will make millions off of it, which in turn gives them the feeling of security and power.

sex is restricting. people tend to bond with those who are from the same socioeconomic background as them. sexual attraction is primarily based on appearance. at the moment that a person is experiencing sexual feelings for somebody, they are not thinking about what the other person might be feeling or thinking, about the past experiences they might have lived through, or about their intellectual identity. they are only thinking about getting pleasure for themselves.

oh, and also. there's a huge line between a guy hitting on a girl just for sex and between two people being in love with each other. deciding to have sex after becoming very close is very different from the former. to me, that is acceptable. a one night stand is not.