End it all

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i see...
not bullies of the cowardly variety then, unfortunately.
contemplated switching schools?

Impossible. Parents don't give a s*** about me.

You have to want to help yourself before getting it, Jake.

i was actually half-joking.
although i have seen the method work before.

when i was in gradeschool, i saw some kid walking up to me with obvious intent to do me harm.
i kicked him in the balls, and problem solved. but really, violence should never be a first resort. Only a last one.
another time all i had to do was report them to the school.

If you really wanted to kill yourself, you'd have done it already, and you wouldn't have bothered telling us.

12 years is far too small a sampling size with which to make a decision like this. School doesn't last forever. Suicide's not very sensible, since it removes possibilities. It's an especially bad idea if you're just doing it to prove a point to others.

Things do tend to get better, I find. The worst period of my life was from around 13-17, when I was seriously depressed. If you just get through it, things change, whether they be your circumstances or your outlook. What you're feeling now is most likely transitory.

I suggest you talk to a councelor or psychotherapist about your depression and suicidal thoughts. Odds are there's a good reason for them that a therapist could work through with you. Your parents are splitting up, right? That's the kind of thing therapists are well-versed with helping their patients deal with.

Last edited by KaiG on 12 Jul 2010, 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh, oops. I apologize for taking it seriously then.

If i had a penny for every time i've heard someone your age say that, i'd be a rich man.
what's your definition of not giving a s**t?
in what way exactly are they so horrible?

If I had a penny for each time I've said that this year. I'd have 19 cents. I've trying really hard. I've been bottling up my emotions. Now, the cork is stuck. I tried using a wine bottle opener. It just broke the cork.

hey dude, when I was your age I felt the same.
Im 19 now. man, way back then I got into so many fight, well s**t, i was suspended most of my middle school period.
I had people try to stab me, I had a man shoot at me, and more than once have I done fistycuffs with more than one person at a time.

So many people wanted me dead...I didnt think my parents could actually see what was going on. I had no friends in a place that noone could relate to me.

Then my father caught me with a book on suicide, both the pros and cons of it.
Worried, he confronted me, he asked me if I was serious. obviously I told him no. but it HAD crossed my mind.

He then told me: "look. think about it like this, killing yourself is the cowards way out. if you die like that, your running like a child, and your too cowardly to confront all of the problems in front of you. If you choose that, you will be dying because you weren't man enough to take it."

So I want you to ask yourself little dude, Are you man enough to go out there, and kick the hell out of your problems. Are you man enough to sit back and take it sometimes. You man enough to talk to your parents about this, or go get help?

If someone tries to hurt you, defend yourself little man, fight em. by all means. If someone calls you names, just tell them to f**k off, and keep on going.
Eventually, you will at least have one buddy by your side, screaming "f**k you" at all of those kids intent on doing you harm too.

The point is, life isn't easy. It isn't going to get easier. But by god, it gets so much more fun with every day and every challenge you force yourself to overcome.

then, and only then will you be a man, and on top of the whole, damned, world.

and never kill anyone. or for that matter anything, you dont absolutely need to.

you will never be the same son.

and you seem like a kid I could grow to chill with one day. sit back and have a brew with.

Then use a drill. Or dynamite.

Seriously, talk to us. Someone said that you wouldn't still be posting here if you really wanted to die. You want help, that much is obvious. Vent all you want, but be specific. Tell us EXACTLY what's going on that's so awful, besides the bullying, which you've already talked about.

As far as that goes, if your parents won't do anything and the school won't do anything, you need to find someone else who will. Are there any other adults you can trust?

Beyond that, I'd recommend going to the cops. Really. No matter how old/young you are, harassment is a criminal offense.

Keep talking. Please. Believe me, I thought about killing myself from the age of 10 up to a few years ago. Now I'm 31.

Don't give up.

go with the guy above me little man. talk to your parents, the teachers, and if need be the police about what those kids are doing to you.

Ok. I'll try my best to be a man. But, if I fail, I'll just take the other way out. The easy way out.

It ain't so easy if you fail. Have you seen that guy who shot himself in the mouth but survived? He certainly didn't want to die after that, and yet now his life sucks even more because half his face is literally missing.

Lots of people who try to kill themselves realise they don't want to die after the fact.

I really think you can do it.

I really mean that.

why do you want to let your tormenters to win? what is it about them that makes you feel you are less worthy of living than they are? if you give them the satisfaction of seeing you throw your bat and gloves down on the ground and walk off the field before you even make it up to bat, what good is that?
your parent's main job in your life is to see to it that you make it to adulthood in one piece, in a condition to pass along your genes to the next generation, whether or not you actually do reproduce. your main job as their offspring is to make it to adulthood. you see, it's all bigger than you and the bullying schoolyard jerks and everybody else. you are here on earth for a reason bigger than all that. you are here to outlast the knuckledraggers you encounter at school and later on in the workplace. you are here NOT to be evil but to resist evil. you well-know what evil is- it is that which makes you feel like you don't deserve to live. people who put pressure on other folk to get into such mindsets are truly evil and you have to resist becoming like them, with every fiber of your being. you can't let evil win. if you believe that death is the end of everything, you have another think coming. if you knew that you'd have to come back into the very same kind of lifetime you cut short by suicide, would you still off yourself? chances are, there is at least one other person on earth you may or may not know, who would grieve for you, for a long long time. if you really ponder it, you will find that causing somebody else such pain is really not any fun at all. so for everybody's sake you might as well stick around for a while longer just to see how the game turns out.