Should I mug the old woman?

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Tahittiii, I think you should cash the check from your mom and get "yourself" a car. However, the car will need to be insured, and since you're not currently employed that means you will need help from 'him" to pay the premiums and therefore you will have to share the car with him. Am I right? Not a bad deal in a relationship where two people are equals, but in the relationship you are in, it's going to add to the tipping of the scales and keep the same old imbalance of power up and running. Really, the situation you are in is so prevalent, yet every time I hear its story told I cringe and go into a state of shock and anger however subdued or crooked it may manifest itself in my behavior. The inequity is always there lurking beneath the surface. How unjust! I really believe this type of relationship resembles very much the behaviors which go on in the Stockholm Syndrome. Your captor gives you just what you need to stay and accept your fate and has during the course of your captivity persuaded you will all your various hidden contracts that for you to escape amounts to your death or a type of death, and that he is in fact, your benefactor for keeping you alive all these years.

Why do we love all those stories and movies where the women escape the ogres and leave the relationship with the overbearing narcissist whose entire motivation since day one has been to smash her spirit to smithereens?

Take the money and run is what I'd like to see you do, but that will never happen.

I hope this post comes across clear. I am in a public library that has the two loudest, chattiest, annoying librarians I've ever witnessed and my time here at the library is limited so I'm rushing to say what I want to say before my husband comes to pick me up. I never learned to drive. I almost had a car once. Long story.

Curious minds want to know. At least my curious mind wants to know. How did it turn out? Have you had the conversation with your husband about the check from your mom, the car, paying her back with your - I mean "the" income tax check? Also, I just noticed the title of this thread. Do you mean that taking the check from your mom would be like mugging her?

Hi, Cosmiccat! I agree with what you said^

I wish Tahitiii would check in so we know how things went for her....