"Victim Syndrome" or "Villain Syndrome"

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my life, like yours i presume,has been absolute crap from the day i was born. except for a 6 year period when i was able to climb out of the hole i was in, to erase the poor white trash label stuck to my forehead, my existence has been stuff of legends.

there are some pretty heartless people haunting wrong planet. if they respond to you.....s...w them. don't let them have any effect on you what-so-ever.

i live in kentucky, so i can imagine how it can be for a big guy like yourself to live in tenn. lets face it, hillbillies are not too forgiving of those who are even slightly different. i think i'm reading an environment stress in you. any chance you could get out of tennessee? have you traveled any? life is very different on, say, the west coast.

please keep writing. let it out. i certainly do.....and it helps to rant. so....hope we hear more from you.

I hear you (and I don't mean to sound trite). I could be off base but a lot of the stuff you've written sounds like stuff I could have written.

I think there's a reason for negative experiences that arise in interacting with ordinary people and therapists alike. Most people can't seem to comprehend how a highly intelligent, self-reflective, logical, and insightful person such as yourself can have such deep emotional issues. If they can't think "outside the box" produced by their own emotional state of reference they will simply judge us as "irrational" and feel entitled to "talk down" to us as if we were not aware of ourselves when we're actually all too aware. Actually I have a theory that, contrary to the wisdom of pop-psychology, too much intelligence and self-awareness can be destructive to mental health as all our mental defense mechanisms are preempted as just that, and the fact that we become aware of our defense mechanisms just leads to a subconscious drive to escalate emotional defensiveness. Anyways, I guess I'll stop rambling on this tangent now before it's too late.

I hope you find that this is a safe place to vent whenever you have the urge/need. The "In-Depth Adult Life Discussion" subforum is another good place that's usually free of trolling and immaturity.

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Sure ... and can you reach halfway to here?! But actually, your arteries probably do not need one any more than do mine.

Back in a few ...

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Last edited by Axel_Midego on 10 Sep 2010, 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Even when thinking about my own life and my own "stuff", I often think there really is very little anyone even *can* say. Life is hard and then we die ... but then I still refuse to give up.


Sure, same here sometimes. But as long as you do not throw something at me through the screen, just go right on ahead and keep speaking your mind! Some of us gotta have *some* way to get a little room to move around in there somehow, eh?!


Not so sure. I have gotten mostly past "desperate", so to speak, but I am here talking to you for some reason.

I meant to get back here a while ago, and I do still intend to be back to post some more ... but possibly not until in the morning.

You remind me a lot of a friend "Wes" at a place where I worked many years ago ... greatly misunderstood and certainly not even close to perfect, but still one 'ell of a guy.

I don't believe that you come across as manipulative. I see genuine pain in your words, and a lot of frustration, anger, and fear. While my circumstances aren't exactly the same as yours, I'm definitely familiar with the feelings you're expressing.

I actually read everything you wrote before, not just skimmed but carefully read. The reason I didn't reply was because I didn't have the energy to write something well thought out. I just didn't want to write anything that could be misconstrued or end up being unhelpful. Actually I think a lot of nice people are probably intimidated somewhat by your defensiveness. Anger is isolating, even if it's self-directed or directed at nothing in particular.

Anyways, it's up to you whether you want to continue with this thread or not.

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Welcome, friend.

- There may or may not be any such thing as sociopathy; I think it's a lazy man's concept. People without empathy can still be wonderful, LOVING people with strong ethical codes.

- Antisocial personality disorder is defined by behavior. The "bleeding saint" behavior is incompatible with that.

- People have told you a lot of crap about yourself. I know it's easy to say "stop internalizing it," but stop internalizing it.

- You sound like you've been beat up on and had to deal with some difficult life situations. You do not necessarily sound neurotic, much less psychotic, beyond that.

- You need therapy, pronto, so that you have a local professional who can listen to you and contextualize what's going on in your life. Not as much as you need better friends, but that will come in time.

- You may vent at me as much and as often as you need to. I am http://www.facebook.com/tlchead on Facebook, if you use that; otherwise, feel free to PM me here. I can't promise prompt replies, but if you don't get a prompt reply that does not mean that I am ignoring you or have otherwise judged you; it just means that I probably haven't seen your message. I work online and get a ridiculous amount of correspondence, plus I'm really distractible.


Cheers,

TH

Well, I appreciate your constructive feedback on my (hopefully) constructive comment. I noticed you prefaced a lot of things mentioning what you don't want to hear. It's only natural that I might worry about accidentally writing something you don't want to read. Something you've heard/read a million times before.

As for the trolls and haters who might happen to read, nothing you say will deter them. They prey on the vulnerable because they are cowards. There's no need to apologise or justify yourself for their sake. You're the one that's chosen to make yourself vulnerable on the internet, even if it's only because you're at your wits end and have nowhere else to go, it's still far more commendable behavior than that of those that choose to kick people who are down.


No need to apologize to me. I was just trying to point out reasons why a thread like this can be tough to respond to.

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Ah yes, it surely does not. It only happens when we no longer feel like outsiders, and nothing short of being part of something can take care of that.

Nothing helpful is rolling around inside my mind today, but not because I do not care.

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