oh, crrraaaaapppp....

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Well he is solely responsible for his own happiness! If he expects to have it all on a silver plate, then that's very immature and irresponsible. He married a diagnosed Aspie - what did he expect? Some Barbie doll from Spanish soap opera? It was his decision, no one forced him. I think you're doing a hell of a job being a good mother in spite of everything, especially him trying to turn your own kids against you.

Sending hugs, you definitely deserve better than that!

Thanks for the compliment on the avatar, Meow. I love weather, too - specifically clouds.

Your husband sounds emotionally abusive. You need to get out of this situation, take your kids with you and get counseling so you don't get involved in another relationship just like it. If he refuses to go to counseling with you, then he may not be willing to change his ways. Saying other guys would have beaten you sounds almost like a veiled threat. That is a very antiquated and profoundly negative way of viewing women and non-NTs.

Indeed - he could be charged for domestic violence:



DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

All day today he's been constantly badgering me about one thing or another...why did I never do this or that, why doesn't this thing bother me....AAAAAHHHHHHH! He tried to accuse me of lying about how I paid for my therapy appointments, of all freaking things, until I pulled up the online bank statement and proved that I was telling the truth. Then he was asking me if "there's anything else I haven't told him" and insinuating i was sleeping around...omg... ...bizarre.

omg...the drama trauma....

~Kate

This guy isn't worth staying with. He sounds like a whiny brat straight out of high school what with manufacturing all the unnecessary drama and trying to control you. You have to get out of this relationship ASAP. You don't deserve to put up with this verbal abuse on a regular basis, Meow.

I'm sorry to continue with the quoting, but this is so painfully familiar:



I really hope you'll get out of it soon. *hugs*

It boggles my mind how an Aspie can be the way you are in a relationship and still have kids knowing that you have a difficulty. Did you think that having kids would cure all the difficulties and possibly the disability. Or did you have the kids because you knew this day would come and so you had kids so you wouldn't kill yourself.

Well, my children aren't little. They are 17, almost 13, and almost 10. I didn't know I had AS when I got married over 25 years ago, nor when they were born. I was only officially diagnosed a few months ago, and only suspected it/self-diagnosed about 7 years ago. Do the math.

When we were first together, I think my husband naively thought he, or I, or time, could "change" the things he didn't like about me, or that they were a function of me being young (we were only 20 when we got married). I think he didn't "get" (and since AS wasn't even a diagnosis when we met in the 1980s, had no way of knowing) that this wasn't something I'd change or "get over" or outgrow. I don't fault him for that, but what I do fault him for is what he's done with it; rather than leave, he's chosen to stay and treat me this way, and when I am faced with no choice other than to leave, paint me as the "bad guy" to the kids.

~Kate

Thanks. This description, unfortunately, does fit him quite well and this has been pointed out to me before .... I know that I have to do something. I can't continue this way. I want to do this in a way that will be least traumatic to my kids and financially the least bad. I just hope I can stay sane throughout the process.

~Kate