I have a problem

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Did I ever SAY that mental retardation affected me getting into a convention? No. I just said I HAD the mental retardation. D: You really shouldn't judge people because like so, you never know how a person could be struggling in real life, especially if you don't know that person very well. I don't think it matters even if I am able to write better than I could speak. The only reason is because writing/typing is my way of expressing myself when I can't do in a more verbal aspect. Writing is something I do often when I can't explain something verbally. It's my alternate form of communication.

Sorry, I had to throw that out there. Really. I mean I didn't come here to be attacked or ridiculed when you guys have only just met me. It seems like a lot to throw at me without realizing that I might actually have something but yet you don't know it. I think that is more wrong because I only come here asking for help for what I struggle with now. In time, if I like being here and start fitting in more I'll come more often but right now, it seems to me like you guys don't seem to want to accept me either. I just want to try to fit in with those people who might be able to see how hard it is very me to life the life I have.

I've had a rough life of being emotionally abused/disturbed/traumatized in elementary school. Never getting the help I needed due to the ignorance of NTs. This has affected me greatly more and more to a point where I can't do things I should be doing at the age of 21. You can't just 'determine' something from anyone by what you see. This is what I go through every day and it's something that can anger me a lot.

Anyway, I don't want to be off-topic but I can say that I have done things that can help prevent most of my meltdowns. Like having my laptop in the hotel room with me. Also having my two pillows I can't sleep without either. I also have my DSes to keep me stimulated to prevent boredom and more pressure and anxiety.

I just worry more about what's going to happen since I can never control my meltdowns. Seriously guys, if I could control them I wouldn't be having them, don't you think? My meltdowns happen like a person has a seizure. Can a person with a seizure tell when they are going to have an attack? No. That's with my meltdowns. I don't have them for attention. I have them like most autistics, I release the anger and frustration I am faced with because I have a hard time expressing it in a manner more mature as what NTs would deal with. You of all people should realize that. Different people have different situations that trigger meltdowns just like different aspies have different symptoms. No autistic person is ever going to be the same and a lot of times different things can affect them.

That's why I want to prevent from having the ridicule of a meltdown if something were to trigger my anger or something where I couldn't control myself. I don't ask for it out of being spoiled or misbehaved. I do it because I know that I can't control my meltdowns. Believe me. My meltdowns are so severe that after they happen, I feel like I have just had a seizure. When really I didn't. I can remember what I did for the meltdown and what I did after but never in between.

Anyway, I hope this helps you understand me better. I mean you're right, someone who is 21 shouldn't be diagnosed with what she has but you don't know that have of it. You shouldn't judge someone because of age because as I said before, you don't know what the person could be dealing with.

Now I really don't want anymore of this talk of me not being mentally challenged or learning disabled because it bothers me a lot. This is something even NTs will nag me about. You can't judge me until you learn more about me and my daily struggles in life without hearing the facts first. If you don't want to try and understand it, that's your problem but don't come in hearing telling me I don't have something or that I'm a fake. I'm just now getting very little of the help I should gotten when I was younger and never got. So please, I really don't want anyone nitpicking me about this. You're right, maybe I am still learning about what I might have and I don't have. But let me deal with that and not all of you guys. It's my problem and not yours.

So yeah again, if that doesn't clear things up well, whatever. It's your problem but I really feel overwhelmed by the fact that some people here don't want to accept me and not see my daily struggles when I haven't even once told you how I am affected by them.

okay...sounds like last time you went you didn't really know what was up with you. This year...maybe try to limit which activities you participate in? Maybe only go to one thing a day, or a morning and an afternoon activity with time to decompress between the activities (maybe a nice long bath or a nap in a quiet room). That's what I have to do when I go to professional conferences.

Another thing that helps me is wearing earplugs between conference events. The general buzz of people chatting over each other in lobbies and hallways really, really gets me keyed up. It's amazing how much easier these kinds of things are when the sound is dampened.

The thing is, you've got a body that needs a little TLC, and that means you have to accommodate it--even when others can't.

Also, when I have to go to conferences, I find that I get hit with depression or a need to completely withdraw for a couple days. So be sure to plan ahead for some recovery time doing relaxing, pleasurable things. In other words, it may be convenient to see extended family after the conference, but it may just be the thing that puts you over the meltdown edge. These are some things that have been working for me lately. Hope that helps you come up with a plan that is as unique as you. Sometimes having a clear, well-thought out plan is what can get you through the chaos of environments like this.

Hope that helps.

I can imagine this is a horrible disappointment for you. I know what it is like to have your hopes set so high only to have them seemingly dashed across the rocks. First understand that you are not alone. We all have to find ways to manage and cope through the world of nt's. Just a few thoughts take them or leave them.

1) While I know that being in line sounds like the worst possible thing imaginable. Take it as an opportunity to learn some coping mechanism. Play your favorite music or watch some anime on a phone or dvd player etc. Might want to practice at the DMV or some other long line they are everywhere. If that is too much. Practice standing in line in your back yard with your mom and others.

2) Have your psychiatrist write a letter. Couldn't hurt they have already said no. It might just change their mind but dont bank on it.

3) Try to understand the fact that NT's don't think like you. When all the facts line up in your head you act. NT's when there emotions and some facts line up they act. I think you might be saying "I have given these people all the reliant facts. They should acquiesce to my demands" The real world rarely works that way.

4) If none of this is palatable. Make a youtube clip saying hi to your favorite voice talent and email them a link. You never know they might talk to you on the phone. How exciting would that be?

Good luck..Take a deep breathe...Realize that the only requirement to belonging is the air in your lungs.