Do others think a lot "What could have/should have been

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I'm doing it right now....I'm thinking that I spent so much of my life...especially since I've been diagnosed with AS but even before then trying to memorize social rules and do the right thing during interactions...and although I've gotten pretty good for someone with a PDD....I'm never going to be great at this...because it's not something you can just memorize rules for and put in effort and then do well at it....it's something that you either have naturally or do not. If I had concentrated my efforts that I expended on learning social rules maybe I could have done something really great....which I have not done