I'm Leaving!! !

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I know how you feel Sweetleaf and I don't blame you. I don't feel comfortable enough here to even try to get support because I'm sure someone will tell me it's part of their collection to prove I'm a whiny troll or some other bully BS. You absolutely cannot have an opinion without people talking behind your back, calling you a b*tch and congratulating each other on making "slams" on the forum. (Yes, I know about it. And those "slams" weren't really slams. They didn't hurt me or bother me, just annoyed me that they couldn't manage to form an articulate and intelligent argument. It bothered me more that they were so proud of themselves, like they'd accomplished something.) And when people are in cliques, they treat everyone else like crap or outright ignore them once their newness has worn off. It's predictable and boring. I'm going to continue to participate here but I understand that this isn't a place for me to form lasting relationships with anyone or find any substantial support. I'd never consider bringing any of my actual problems here. There have been times when the internet has made me cry because of bullying, but I'm 33 years old now and that just aint gonna happen now.

I've found, as IRL, there are a few people I can talk to and rely on for support, and like IRL, I just have to dismiss the cliquishness and other BS I see as the immature crap that it is. I'm an Aspie and I'm not used to being "popular", never was, never will be, who the hell cares about that bullsh!t anyway? I think sometimes some people, not used to it either, get carried away with it and participate in the cliquishness without stopping to think that it is excluding others.

I'd like to see you continue posting even if you don't get the outpouring of responses some people get (I don't either). It doesn't make your problems less or you less valuable. It may let you know who the supportive people are, though, and who might be a good support person to talk to if you're feeling bad

~Kate

You've been going through it pretty rough lately and I know I've posted on a few of your threads and I have seen lots of others offer encouragement and support. I think, maybe, the lack of a resolution or any 'real' help may be the root of your frustrations. We are all just icons on another screen - other than some encouraging words, there really isn't much we can do but offer moral support from afar.

And you have that - in abundance. And, I'm sure you'll continue to get that should you stay. I feel a bit out of place offering you advice and such because - I'm an old lady. And, from my perspective, you are just a kid - a really sweet, if hurting kid. That age disconnect may also be part of the problem... we old folks can sometimes be real impatient with the trials and tribulations of youth. I would hope my fellow dinos would be a bit more understanding and supportive - because I'm sure they once wished for the very same thing at your age - but, as you've witnessed, you have the full range of feelow human beings here. Sweet loving saints all the way down to miserable crotchitty old windbags and a whole lot in between.

Don't let the windbags chase you off!

I'm wondering - did someone troll you with a negative PM about your posts?

I have bad depression and AS and i like and identify with your posts because of that. Sorry if i haven't helped you. It's a combination of not seeing or noticing threads due to the gigantic nature of the place or not knowing what to say to help when you do see another person suffering. If i really knew and understood the big answers i'd apply them to my own life.

As for everyone that did not assume I think the world revolves around me or whatever well and even those of you who did...I was actually just pretty frusterated in general I mean I feel like there is no one who truly understands wether its in real life or online and it really got to me hence this rant, also I keep feeling more and more isolated not because there are no people I can hang out with or talk to in RL...but its like no matter how many people I know and enjoy being around I still feel more and more isolated in my mind when I feel numb it does not bother me and is even kind of appealing but when the depression or anxiety kicks in the thought becomes overwhelming. I am not going to actually leave, it is helpful when people do respond and sometimes just posting is helpful to vent. I will however try not to go on anymore rants because it is not very helpful.

I knew you'd be back.

(They always come back, y'know.)

This is perhaps the only subforum of a forum available on the internet where flounce posts should be acceptable.