YOU DONT HAVE ASPERGERS

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What is worse is when the following thing takes place:

Me: But your family dont know I have aspergers anyway.
Him: Oh yes, they do.
Me: What? Who told them?
Him: My aunt met someone with AS once and she was looking at you and thought you were very similar to them, and she then decided you have AS and she told my uncle and my parents, so they all know now.

This has happened to me twice, people meeting someone with AS or seeing someone on TV and going "I think Zen Mistress has that! Lets talk about it with other people!"

It is really kind of embarassing to think of everyone speculating about me. And a bit hard to be a Closet Aspie when you find yourself the talk of the town.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: You can't fix stupid. Believe me, I've tried.

While I don't understand why anyone would care what unqualified people have to say about autism and those who have it, I do understand why you'd feel upset when someone calls you a liar or a fake.

Typically my response would be silence, but on a few occasions when family members questioned my diagnosis I responded along these lines:

I can't be 100% sure that I have autism or that the doctors who diagnosed me didn't make a mistake, but I am sure that there are certain things I have a lot of difficulty with. Many of these things involve interacting with other people and understanding where I fit in this society. Whether this is because of autism or not is irrelevant when the techniques and insights given by the professionals helping me have a positive impact. If somewhere along the line it turns that I don't have autism then so be it, my problems won't magically go away nor would the advice given to me become useless. I am myself regardless of what labels others place on me and I do not appreciate it when you or anyone else judges me or place expectations on me based on those labels.

Hi Hale Bopp, unfortunately these people are everywhere. You know more about you than anyone else! So just let their ignorant comments role off your back like water off a duck's back. I know easier said than done. I need to do the same thing without getting offended or angry.

I'm in a similar boat due to my age. Even shrinks won't listen to me when I try to give them the synopsis of my life history: bullied from my earliest memories, lack of social skills, lack of being able to make or keep friends, sensory issues galore, special interests,etc. Do these professionals know me? Nope, no clue what makes me tick. Since they get paid to see people whether they do or not, maybe they just don't care? Sadly, they usually never get more than a few chances to try. They see my outward appearance only. I do color my hair, I do wear normal clothing, but I also have to wear socks turned inside out because I can't stand the seams rubbing against my feet. I have no patience for those who refuse to hear what I say. After 3 visits, they're fired. I know myself, of course after having lived in this body for nearly 50 years, I ought to! If they can't get past my physical appearance, it's time to move on.

Tomboy

I once met someone on Facebook in the Ban kids From restaurants group who thinks sensory issues don't exist nor AD/HD. He said I was making excuses for things that don't exist. I would also assume he doesn't even believe food can be too rich for someone it makes them sick to their stomach literally they throw up since I mentioned that too.

But sadly his wife is a special ed teacher too so I think he should know better. But since apparently his wife is bad as him, I wonder how she treats her students. Especially the ones who she thinks have "fake" disorders or "fake" issues.

Okay when you are around ADHD kids or around aspie kids, you can definitely tell it is indeed real and why the label exists. But I fail to understand how people can still not pick up on it after seeing kids with it. As my mother would say, "people are stupid." There was even someone on yahoo Answers who admitted she once thought Asperger's was a fancy way of saying "Not being able to fit in" but until she met someone who had it, she realized AS did exist. I applaud her for learning and seeing it and isn't that ignorant after all.

But maybe those kids weren't AD/HD enough or aspie enough for them to see it?

There are even people out there that think autism doesn't exist and that it's just an excuse for bratty kids having tantrums and getting their way and misbehaving. There are even people out there who think dyslexia doesn't exist and that kids with it are just lazy.

I am sure there are people out there who think anxiety disorders don't exist and that people with it are just b*****s or lazy and can just snap out of it and stop it and I know there are people out there who think personality disorders don't exist or Bipolar or depression.

Now I wonder if there is anyone out there who thinks cerebral palsy doesn't exist or other conditions that cause people to be in a wheelchair and think they are just too lazy to walk and to go to the bathroom so they wear a diaper?

But those people think those kids are faking it or just have excuses and think they can just snap out of it or still think the parents just need an excuse to drug their kids to make their jobs easier as parents or to be told it's not their fault that they failed as a parent. It just shocks me if they still thought that after seeing a kid who actually has it than hearing about it or after seeing anyone with it, kid or adult.

Those who have it too and think their own condition is fake are probably in denial and hard on themselves when they keep messing up or keep failing. Maybe they come from a background where they were told over and over they were lazy or selfish or stubborn or stupid, etc. and then they see there is a word for their problems but still brush it off and go with what they were taught growing up.

Neither stranger nor friend nor family member has ever told me that I couldn't possibly have Asperger's because of [insert dumbass reason here] because I don't tell them. The only people who know are people that know about Autism. There was a therapist who told me I couldn't possibly have Asperger's because of a really stupid, inane reason but I figure that, despite his profession obligating me to tell him about my diagnosis, he was not one of the people that know about Autism.

I personally only suspected I have aspergers and have thought as much for the past year and a half.

I haven't told any close family members aside from a cousin- because i'm afraid they wouldn't believe me.

People look at you as if you're making excuses for things easily fixable, lack of eye contact, lack of social mannerisms, melt downs etc. We're so much about culpability for our actions in society, that something genuinely inflicting someone is looked at with disbelief, as opposed to an actual attempt to understand something or someone.