I was not meant for this world.

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Amount to anything? What does that really mean?

What if you actually don't achieve some vaguely defined level of success in life? So what?

I mean sure we all want the basic comforts in life but I don't think we need to put inflict unnecessary amounts of pressure and frustration on ourselves if we come up short. On top of all this we live in crazy tough times these days.

Also it's probably true some of this pressure comes from external sources like acquaintances, family, or society. As if most people should have any business advising others how their life should be run. Problem is.... they are not you.

Well I don't do much driving of any sort, I get too distracted........and anxious and such especially if there is traffic. and I live in the U.S and it would probably be a more expensive hobby here. lol. But yeah if I could figure out who to talk to that I can afford to talk to about how depressed I am and my other issues, maybe that would help with the dropping out thing as my reasons would appear more valid.......but then again I don't want them to try and prescribe me anything or whatever because I had a terrible reaction to anti-depressants and I can take care of the things to take the edge off myself I don't need prozac again.

Well i am ok if I don't achieve that........but I know I would get plenty of complaints from my family and such. Also, I just don't know how I will have enough to live on if I stop going to college and do not get the grants/loans, I suppose there are options out there, but I am really terrible at job interviews and connecting with people to maybe figure something out. I just feel like if things are to the point where I can't focus on college as much as I would like to what makes me think I will be able to really do anything else.

You'd be surprised! Last time I checked, there was only one test in the US (I was thinking of doing post-grad studies in the US for a while and pondered about passing the motorcycle license down there rather than here). All you have to do is successfully attend to (and pass) a MSF course. Your roads are so deliriously easy to navigate on compared to here in the UK, too - no stupid roundabouts, or very few of them.

The main problem in the US seems to be bike insurance. Same rules as the UK - buy small, get lots of protective gear, get the MSF course done for cheaper insurance and make sure to ride safely.


Talk to your faculty head at college! They're there to help - on a purely selfish point of view, it's in their interest to help you out.

Tell that to whoever you see. They can't go against your will on that, I think (not too sure), especially if you've had bad reactions to them before.

Yeah the insurance would be the main problem...I cannot even afford health insurance let alone other types of insurance. and how am I supposed to talk to them........there is no way I could bring myself to tell the faculty head that I have depression issues and such interfering with my abilities one it would be embarrasing and two I doubt they would really care.

Maybe the disability department would be better as it is actually specifically for people to talk about their problems and how it interferes.

But yeah I would hope meds cannot be forced because that prozac really sucked.

Health insurance is the most expensive kind of insurance, at least in the US (come live in Europe, health insurance is free over here! ). Bike insurance is rather cheap - I'm on £500/year without a full license, with 0 years NCB and a sportsbike (the sportsbike element plays a lot, by the way. I know a friend who is in exactly the same condition, with a cheap 30yo commuter bike, and pays £120/year on insurance. But at least my bike does 50mph if I need it to).


...Go in their office, tell them it's urgent, and explain the situation. Or just book an appointment with them. I am sure that they would not mind - it's part of their job, after all.


Embarrassing, maybe. There could be a positive outcome, though.

Worst case scenario: they don't give a s**t, you know that they suck, and in the end you've lost nothing but some of your time
Best case scenario: they work with you to try to find a way to help you, you've gained an infinite amount of help

By the way, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. A part of the college/uni ranking is done by student satisfaction. Each uni gets a mark based on how many students drop out - the more, the lower the end result. So, even just for that, they'd be inclined to help you. It sounds purely pragmatic, but it's a good reason not to dismiss them on possible help, even just for that.


Been on it, so yeah, I agree on that. Prozac also was very addictive. Also, your "disability department" sounds like counselling. Beware of counsellors - we call them hedge psychologists for a reason around here. They don't need qualifications to do what they do and usually cause more harm than good.

If the worst case senerio took place it would upset me so I would have lost some of my time and suffered another blow to my non-existant self confidence.

And I did not mean the disability department is counseling, they might offer that service however....but they help people with accomidations and if I needed to drop out for psychological reasons they could help me with that and they might have resources of where I could get a diagnoses or what sorts of things are availible I don't really know but it's not just counselling.

I don't know english idioms so much, but in France, we have this saying: qui ne tente rien n'a rien. Whoever does not try anything... ends up with nothing. It is said in a positive tone, though, unlike my crappy english translation (not quite good at translation just yet ). Another thing to think about is how not going to see anyone will affect your self-confidence and well-being. I know it's difficult - in fact, I am being slightly hypocritical because, in my uni's case, they saw me before I saw them (I stopped going anywhere for three weeks. They noticed. The secretary to the head eventually came to my house to check where I was) - but it's probably worth it.

By the way, if you know a bit of French, I strongly recommend reading a book called Le papillon des étoiles by a french writer called Bernard Werber. You might find a lot of similarities with your situation in that book in the persona of Yves Kramer, the main character of the book.


That's probably a good idea, then. Thought it'd just be the usual "let's sit and chat, I won't offer any kind of help" counselling.

I have, and still frequently am in the same place you are. I pretty much know there is nothing in this life for me. I graduated summa cum laude in college 5 years ago and have been either working below my station as a sh***y collector, or being on disability for one of my many insanities - like bipolar disorder. I generally do not care anymore. I am tired of life, because I have gotten little but strife out of it. sexually abused as a kid, bullied all through school, hid in the bathrooms, went to college and excelled, fell back into a life of aimless BS. I am 30. I wish I could say with certainty that the issues you have now won't plague your life from here on out, but I can't. I am still struggling and probably always will be.

than do something to counteract the thoughts. giving in to them makes every worse.



because potential is abstract... no one can "see" potential. but its there!



you are talking to a girl who's dream it was it get a GED and live on the streets no more than a few years back. but I found out that I like science... so I will get a science degree. I like animals, so the degree will be in biology, you like something? there is a degree in it.



i wonder what would happen if Bill Gates thought that? you only get in life what you put into life. If you are giving up on HOW THE HELL do you expect things to change? Jews in the halocaust still moved forward... Is your life worse than theirs?



than find something to do to occupy your thoughts. get a hobby! and then make a career out of it! and viola! retirement right by your bedside table!

Trust me I spend a lot of time and effort on counteracting such thoughts or not giving into them...but they still persist. There are various things I do to reduce it or distract myself with something but nothing has actually worked to get rid of all that.

Well maybe I will find this alleged potential, maybe I won't nothing is certain I suppose.

I like psychology and sociology, but that does not change the fact that I feel I lack the motivation to really pursue anything, I am not sure if you know how it feels to be going to college and completing things and getting decent grades and yet feeling completely detatched from it all...makes it hard to care enough to actually put much effort into things or really pursue a goal. I mean sometimes I am able to decide on a very minor goal and stick to it....like I struggled along the last two semesters just so I could complete psychology 101 and 102 so I would be ready for Abnormal Psychology which I am now taking.....but beyond that I can't seem to think of a good goal to motivate myself with. I mean what about after this semester.

Well I am not Bill Gates, and no I was not a jew in the holocaust, but that does not change how I feel....my problems may not be a big deal to anyone else but that does not make them lesser for me. And I have put quite a bit into life only to recieve nothing in return. I have an issue with putting others before me too often.......when I was a child it was not about me it was about trying to make everyone else feel better, trying to hold my family together(yeah I was rather delusional about my parents arguing all the time and eventually divorcing, thinking I could change the course of things if only I could be better than I was.) Instead of resenting the people who bullied me and picked on me I thought nice things about them and still tried to be nice to them only to be crapped on even more. No matter how much effort I was putting into things it was never enough, I was never good enough......I guess I had to put more effort into some things then other people but that was not acknowledged....Everyone has a breaking point I guess and I am not far from mine.

One cannot go out and make a career out of whatever they want, especially if they have major problems with social interaction and no clue how to even go about managing a career. And this is either good or bad but I am not even intrested in making a career out of my life........to what end so I can pat myself on the back for giving into what society wants from me even though I dislike everything about it. I don't particularly want to live to be old enough to benifit from retirement in the first place.

I am pretty sure the problems I have now are not going away any time soon, and some of them are worse....and yeah I did not really even post this to find a solution....I just wanted to vent without bullsh*tting about how I am going to try and work on all this and live a better life.......I can say I am but I know I wont the misery is not going to disappear.

If they wanted a functional, talented sucessful citizen maybe they all should have thought about that before crapping on me before I ever even had the concept of what that even meant. I wasn't like everyone else so they decided it was in their best intrest to suck all the life out of me with all the mental abuse. I mean in an early memory where my mom was taking me to some pre-school/day care center or whatever for early learning and first day I got dragged around the playground by a couple kids by the hood of my jacket and then eventually they apologized and the teachers where terrible....they would ask me really obscure questions to determine if I had made a mistake or was intentionally disobeying the rules and of course I would answer wrong and have to go sit in the corner or whatever.

Then when we moved and I went to some other pre-school, and the teacher was emotionally abusive.....she liked to single me out so I could be humilated in front of the rest of the class. and of coure this sort of thing continued all through my school years and I was supposed to grow into a mature, sucessful, talented adult with potential.....when I was younger I liked fooling myself into beliveing it was no big deal I had missed out on so many positive life experiances and I would be fine when I finally grew up.......but here I am 22 and I am anything but fine in my opinion.

Mature, successful, talented adult with potential.... I'll never be that to my family. They think I'm gonna end up being a damn hobo. And who knows? Maybe they're right. But my few good friends, and my girlfriend - people that know the real me - say I'm probably the most full-of-potential guy they know. Family can be so unaccepting... Yet another symptom of the sickness plaguing the world. I've learned that they cemented their worldviews and neuroses and prejudices long ago, and if I actively oppose such things, I will always be labeled a freak by them, "squandering my potential" - gee, you know, I could've been a great doctor, they make sooo much money! !! And of COURSE that's the measure of success.

I love em, but I'd be damned if they aren't complete f**kin goons all the time.

I do have a couple friends and they say good things about me, but then I start feeling like that is only because they are unaware that I probably seriously won't accomplish much. I feel like if I do not eventually prove this potential or sucess or whatever even the friends I have will regret having ever said good things about me and abandon me for not living up to what they thought I could live up to or whatever. It is a very lonely feeling.

First, decide to seek an improvement in your life.

Do some research about what assistance may be available to you in your area.

One of the points of consulting a professional when you aren't well is so that you can get expert advise.

Do not assume that you know what you will be told, or what you will be prescribed, or what the affect of discussions or medications are.

You have needed help for some time. Please reach out and seek it.

What improvement is there?...I was born into a society i was rejected from and see as sick, the society is not going away in my life time thus my quality of life will largely remain the same.

I have tried doing that research but google.com is not the best way to find out much accurate information about assistance in my area and I really don't know who to talk to about it.

I don't see what expert advice will do, to help...I suppose it is worth a try if I ever get around to it and feel I can actually trust them to tell them anything significant. I don't want to say the wrong thing and have any treatments forced upon me.