I am about to kill myself & want to apologize for being

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I hope you are ok, HomesickAlien. So many of us on the board have been through similar to what you have been through, please post here as soon as you can.

I hope that you've gone to the hospital or called someone who can help/support you immediately--but if you haven't, I hope you at least check for replies to your post before trying to end your life....lots of people care about you, can relate to what you're going through, and want to help.

Many wonderful and successful therapists have experienced very painful struggles--including periods of suicidal despair--that they could not have survived alone. It can be very hard to help yourself--sometimes it's actually much harder than helping others. Being unable to help yourself right now doesn't mean that you are incapable of ever helping yourself, and it doesn't mean that you will never be able to help others.

You sound like a very kind and caring person, and that makes me think that you have probably had a positive affect on others just by being a part of the world. I can remember several strangers who did nothing more than say hello or try to talk to me, hold a door open for me, or smile at me on days when my life seemed like a catastrophic failure, when I was terribly lonely and part of me just wanted to die....it might sound ridiculous, but such small gestures of human kindness helped me get through those days. Whether or not you smile at or say hello to strangers, my point is that you really never know what seemingly insignificant part of your existence will help another person.

Please don't underestimate your value as a human being or as a future music therapist. You have value, and your caring and compassion have value--even if you can't see it right now.

This isn't really the place for it (this whole thread should probably be in The Haven) but what if that actually isn't true? What if there aren't loads of people who will miss you if you die? What if you really do have no family, no friends, no sense of community and therefore no-one who would miss you? Saying something like the above would probably be a bit pathetic.

Not all cases of suicide are illogical. Many are, but a few aren't.

OP: please don't do anything daft. You'll get through this. I promise.

moved from General Autism Discussion to The Haven

homesickalien, i hope you are ok. the mod team really has no way of ensuring you are safe, so i do wish that you are surrounded by people who can help you now. i think you can see from the overwhelming support on this thread that members care about your well-being. find a reason to keep going, because as long as you are alive there is always hope.

I'm glad she didn't start it in The Haven, because I wouldn't have seen it there, and better to pray than not.

Hope you are well and maybe feeling better, homesickalien. Others have said more than I can think to say. It's odd, but helping oneself if often the hardest thing to do; it's usually easier to help others. So, if you are having problems it doesn't mean that you're not qualified to help anyone.

When you got diagnosed you gained a key to access a special group of people named aspies. Not anyone who want can enter the group. Now, when one of us is in trouble, we feel for each other. So buck up and stay alive will you? Life is an important gift and remember even if you dont have familiy and friends the aspie community here worldwide is got your back.

You!
Don't apologise for being!
You're thrown into this life!
Bounce!! !! !! !! !! !!

We are pulling for you!

And I think Apple_in_my_Eye is entirely right. It is much more difficult and much trickier to help oneself than to help others. So, just because you're having issues yourself does not mean you can't help others, in fact, it's probably a source of strength and ballast. In ways which feel right and in a time schedule on your own terms, please let us help here.

I hate these posts!. Sooner or later someone's family is going to blame their love ones suicide on WrongPlanet not doing enough to prevent it. A wrongful death lawsuit, what a stupid way to loose a web site.

I am still alive & going to get help. Thank you all for your concern & kind words.

((((((((((((((Homesickalien))))))))))))

I suppose a virtual hug won't disturb any touch sensitivities.

I want to thank you for putting me in touch with the Highest for a few good hours last night. I don't get that much these days. I didn't Receive any hard information about you, but I did get the Reassurance that "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well" as Julian of Norwich put into language.

glad to hear you are ok and are getting help. people flagged your thread to the moderators and we tried to find out what we could (sent you a PM), but with very limited success. thank you for coming back and letting us know, and i hope you continue to post here.

Thank you for letting us know you're going to get help. I'm very relieved. I know how alone it feels when you're in a suicidal state of mind, and I hope you know there are a lot of people here who want you to feel better.

homesickalien, you are very welcome. And I'm glad we had a chance to express kind words.
And I'm glad you're alive, and wish you all the best in finding one or several people who can help.

homesickalien, I'm so glad you're with us and seeking help.

Please keep talking to us. Just a few words every now and then will do fine if you don't feel like more

I was pretty close to suicide 7 weeks ago (quite close actually, but I won't go into details considering how you perhaps are feeling right now). Since that night I've been living in a very friendly and nice psychiatric clinic (most of them are very nice and friendly actually, you shouldn't believe what you see in the movies). During my time there I got the diagnosis AS and that really changed my view of my life.

I also got medication and boy can I tell it helped or what! I feel very different, and feel there is a road ahead.

Time heels wounds homesickalien, and experience solves problems automatically. Stay with us and give yourself some slack and time.

Do PM me for a private chat if you wish!

Godspeed friend...

//Arash