When materialism replaces hope, and when you are dying insid

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Nice thread title....I may use it one day

However do not worry
I was at the occupy town hall thing last night
If these protests are the opposite of gross materialism

Materialism aint so bad in perspective

Slaves are bad, oh naughty literal one

Don't worry about it - I have my various personals for a reason. If they get more attention, it increases my chances of finding my true love... even if, as said, I sort of have lost hope on that.




Kill myself? If I had lost my virginity to her, anyway. Hasn't happened, yet - instead it has ended before that had the possibility of happening. Once I even was about to meet one girl, in another country, and all, but a strange twist of fate made that not happen. So, in her self-destructive behaviour, she broke up with me, with me later taking her back for the second (or was it third) time, and then she instead was unfaithful and I instead permanently broke up with her. Yes, I'm sure some of you think I had it coming, due to the Master/slave stuff that she, by the way, also wanted... but what those who criticize me for that don't understand, and probably never will (in this life), is that a Master/slave relationship can be the ultimate expression of love. You confuse the evil kind of slavery with a kind that merely is a certain type of relationship. It's about trust and devotion, from the slave, and caretaking, from the Master. Indeed, some types of Master/slave relationships can be very bad, but those are bad in the same way that any other kind of bad vanilla relationship is bad. I also agree that some Master/slave relationships can turn extremely bad, but so can any regular kind of relationship. It's amusing to even see that guy wanting to report me, by the way... SammichEater, that is. If you met me, without knowing who I am, and shallowly would get to know me, my politeness and helpful behaviour would probably strike you. I don't just hold up doors to girls or women, but to guys, as well. I go to the store that now has closed down, to buy what I need from there, instead of where it's cheaper, and have (or rather had) friendly chats with the clearly depressed owner. I let people cut the line, if I have no reason to get away in a hurry. I still regret that I didn't let that polite woman cut the line, a long time back, which she unintentionally was about to do, before I told her I was first. She seemed to be in a hurry, and I had no reason to not let her go before me, but I'm sure her day wasn't ruined in any way, from it, as I did tell her that in a polite way, and even forced a light smile, for her, despite that I was very unhappy. Yes, clearly I need to be reported to the "authorities", for my offensive behaviour. What "authorities" would that be, anyway? I notice that SammichEater lives in the US... I do not. And there recently was a BDSM case here in Sweden, where the girl had regretted what she agreed to participate in... the guy was acquitted, as it was determined that she volunteered to it. What would you report me for? Writing down words? As opposed to him actually engaging in it, in a meet-up without any sort of love. At least I'd even want to marry my girl and take care of her, and make her forever happy.




I wouldn't want to portray me as what I am not. If she finds me to be classy, that is good, but I do not want to attempt to fool any girl. Honesty is one of my main principles to follow, in my attempts to find the girl for me. I do not want to live with lies, and I do not want her to be lied to. Doing that would be immoral, really. As for my materialism.... I don't actually *want* to be materialistic... as I explained, it seems to be replacing my hope. That is a problem, of course. Materialism is not a desireable path to take... all I want is the fated love between me and my true love... I just hope I'll be able to find that in this life.




I don't think it necessarily is *that* ideal.... and the reason I don't mention more specific things about how who I seek should be, is because I want to try to leave things at least somewhat open. I'm not looking for a deity, either, even if her soul would be, in many ways... when I seek perfection, it clearly is in the eye of the beholder. For example, some would think it is "sick" that a girl would want to be the slave of a guy... such as the guy himself. He'd maybe try to send her to therapy, which well could offend her. His response wasn't ideal to her, as her desires wasn't ideal to him. Maybe they could overcome it, though, and love each other deeply, anyway, but in other cases it could spell the end of it, and they would go separate ways; ways toward where the two maybe would find someone more compatible, and, to them, more perfect.

I do agree that I tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of person, though, and I do agree that the holes and cracks can become all you can see. It is indeed frustrating, all too often, but I can't see what I could do about it... because I couldn't think in the way that you propose, to just let yourself see imperfection as beautiful. I could in part, and already know I can do it, but I couldn't in the way that you describe.

While I can't do the things you describe, I want to say that I always appreciate reading your posts, and the PM's from some time back. They are always friendly and polite, and I appreciate that you want to try to help, even when I can't accept the advice.




Married girls don't qualify, sorry. :P




...Thanks. :3




I don't understand any of what you are saying, here. :|

Your title infers
When hope goes
materialism comes
materalism
makes you
die inside

The current anti corporate world wide protests in 1600-1800 cities
Will not re-establish
hope
in my heart
any ways
from what I saw

Last edited by Surfman on 21 Oct 2011, 6:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well... while I did say that materialism, in my case, is coming when hope is leaving, I did not mean to imply that I am turning dead inside, due to the materialism. It's the loneliness that is making me die inside. The materialism actually helps a little bit, but not in the way I want. Also, after a while, you get more and more used to the situation of getting new stuff, and it helps, in that materialistic way, less and less... so no matter how you put it, excessive materialism is only bad, and makes you appreciate what you already own, even less. However, that is not what I referred to, in the subject.

I agree it is no panacea for a whole and good life...

Developing hope is critical for aspies
Thats why I avoid
The hope crushing world of the corporate minute men

I've now ordered a very wide-angle lens for my digital system camera. Since I'm actually excellent with photography, maybe it'll manage to make me feel less empty inside.... maybe even a tiny bit happy. I can't take the kind of photos that this lens allows you to take, with my other lenses, so maybe it'll make me feel creative enough to not just sink deeper and deeper into my depression.

Well I got no idea on the BDSM thing, it seems weird to me and I don't really approve of that sorta thing, but if...whatever. I don't know. Seems odd as hell to me.

But one more thing, on the suggestion of coming to America, that's probably not gonna work. Foreigners in America tend to not have too many friends, imo, but an Aspie could be different. My friend came from Sweden to here, and me, and a lonely convenience store owner like you described, were his only 2 friends here in America. Some weird teenager, and another foreigner. Yep. My friend, he was tall, attractive, well mannered, drove a nice Audi A4, etc, but just nothing here really worked out for him socially.

Haha, I have several reasons that definitely will keep me out of the US, unless I'd maybe find my true love, there, but then I'd try my best to make us meet up in Canada, instead. I'm not going through any nude scanners, where they actually save the photographs taken for "future reference" (with photos having leaked out on the net, before (and the scannings also lead to cancer)), and I'm certainly NOT having the alternative, "extended patdown", either.

Maybe I could go to Japan, if I ever get the money. A cup of coffee costs about ten dollars, there, after all (or in Tokyo, anyway). They seem to be unusually big on the romantic suicide pact thing, there, so maybe Japan is the promised land for me, haha. As long as they don't now do the nude scannings and "extended patdowns", there, as well, that is. Of course, to go there, I'd have to win on the lottery, seeing as my savings are almost all gone, after poor choices of shares.

I got no idea on true love or anything like that. I just tend to get myself so involved in my hobbies, I end up working on cars obsessively. Tesla did stuff like that. I might end up as cool as him, who knows. He never touched a woman, Tesla. I don't know if he was unhappy about that, or what. But I guess he just spent his time making deathrays and earthquake machines and UFOs until he died at like age 90. Not a bad life, just not a life of "true love."

That said, one of my newest obsessions, err...hobbies. Figure skating. Tons of hot chicks figure skating. Woohoo. I think I met a girl with NVLD like me, and she likes Japanese music like me, however we're both so apprehensive about "dating" love, etc, when we try to flirt, or even talk to each other, we just blow each other off.

But uh, for the BSDM thing, I can't see how that'll like, work, especially long term, for finding any girl. But hey, your life and stuff.

Read about Nikola Tesla, Tesla was all like this:
and then spent his whole life making deathrays, the fluorescent lightbulb and lasers and plasma cannons and stuff. You could always make your life like that. Woohoo.

b*****s loved Tesla, cuz of his cool deathrays and maybe his personality where he'd stay up for days straight playing cards and stuff, but Tesla was all like this to them.

Dude. What the hell?

And this is kinda a problem, bro. Milder BDSM perhaps?

You just don't get how it works. Most likely, you never will (in this life), either, so why should I even attempt to answer your question? If it even is a question? If it indeed is a question, go to BDSM forums and try to understand it that way, instead, as I'm not interested in answering a question that clearly attempts to paint me in a bad light. My problem isn't being too "extreme" with my BDSM interests (and I assure you, they aren't very extreme, at all, compared to what many others in such relationships do - things I'd never even think of doing) - countless BDSM forums, and people who participate in it, are evidence of this. My main "problem" is the romantic suicide pact part. Many have loved or at least enjoyed what I have said in my personals, but it hasn't worked out, wouldn't have, or couldn't have, for various reasons that are unnecessary to mention. No matter what I say, though, you likely will keep thinking I am a creep, or similar. Humans are afraid of what is different, so they oppose and even want to wipe out what they find is inappropriate to their world view.

At a separate note... thanks for the suggestion about Tesla, 1000Knives, but I couldn't possibly live like him. Like him, I do tend to ignore the girls that flirt with me, in real life, though.... I just assume it wouldn't work out, and that, unfortunately, is a very reasonable assumption of me to make. Good luck with that girl, though.... sounds like you two possibly could be a good fit, if you work on it.

I have friends that are into BDSM. They roleplay as well, but outside of the bedroom they stop roleplaying. I would prefer you to explain yourself though, otherwise I'm going to think the worse. I don't know if you're a nice guy or not, I'm sure that you are, but all I have to go by is the OkCupid profile, which if anyone looks at it, will get the wrong idea. But can you at least understand why someone would take you proclaiming that you would assault a woman for not obeying your every command? What if she says, "No. I don't want to do ____" does that warrant a push? Roleplay or not?

It's also a bad idea to plan suicide if you lose your virginity to the wrong person. You even admitted you would do this. It's not worth it to take your life over something like that, it just isn't. Because it's very likely that you may end up losing the person you lost your virginity with (I wouldn't know, personally. I only have what I've observed from those around me, or what I've been told) will not prove to be "The one". Because of this, if you go into a relationship with this mindset, you are dooming yourself to end up dead. No one here wants that, I am certain.

I think Beauty_pact is describing what's known within the BDSM community as TPE on a 24/7 length.

' The term refers to a relationship where the dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions. TPE is occasionally referred to as 24/7, denoting that protocol in the D/s relationship is in play anytime, anyplace and the dominant partner gets complete power at all times'.

Firstly even the most experienced Dom/Domme would agree this is definitely at the wilder end of the community, not for those without prior experience & already in a stable long term agreed casual relationship.
Secondly, I honestly say & agree that Beauty_pact is breaking the main motto (SSC - Safe, Sane & Consensual) within the community by declaring that he ultimately wants a suicide pact within TPE.

I'm not going to go on some moral crusade here - as much as I want to - but I will say Beauty_pact needs to get this diagnosed and resolved safely.

It most definitely is NOT assault. My main concern would be to do what she wants to be done, anyway. In my case, that is the main purpose of having that relationship... making her happy. And yes, it is a 24/7 Master/slave relationship I want, even though I do not want it to be as extreme as that of many others. I want it to mostly be a normal relationship, with frequent BDSM themes, and the spiritual knowledge, between me and her, that I am her eternal, loving Master, and she my eternal, loving slave - even when we just play videogames, together. You don't have to be obsessing with doing rituals, all the time, for the Master/slave situation to still be there.

And why would I care about some motto, by the way? My interest is to do what *she and I* want, and NOT what some BDSM communities "expect" of me. I think I, by far, am more capable than most others to follow that motto, otherwise, though, if the suicide pact desire would be considered to "break" it, according to some stuck-ups. However, I am pleased to tell you that my personal was under review, for a couple days, on a BDSM forum, after a member expressed deep criticism about it. I got a surprising amount of support - even from a guy from the management that I had been on bad terms with, before. It was determined that if you target each other, that way, in a BDSM community, not much will be left of it, with time - someone will always find something new to complain about.

As far as toning down my personals... I have been suggested that I skip the Master/slave part, I skip the punishment aspect, I skip the suicide pact, I skip the piss play, I skip the importance of virginity part.... anything else I should filter out? The way I see it, I must be doing something right when so many people have opinions on it, in one way or another. And it's not like girls haven't found what I say likeable, either - many have (like my friend who commented in this thread, before). It's just that out of those, my true love wasn't among them.

I have to respect your determination and viewpoint, even if I don't agree with it. And I don't. Yet you show an unbelievable level in honesty when it comes to dating, and disregarding rejection as if it's their loss, not yours.

I have to ask though, do you really know what you want? You sound confused. Firstly, you state that she is in fact Mistress and you want to please her, then switch from TPE to a normal, if not kink fuelled relationship, then switch to a point where decisions are made equally.

The motto isn't there to tell you what to do or expect, it's there to help stop vulnerable people engaging in unsafe relationships. Frankly, sane people do not advertise suicide pacts.

Like I've said, I do hope you'll get this diagnosed & resolved as soon as possible