bah, humbug

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when i was a kid, i had great difficulty understanding why we didn't get out some boxing gloves on that day.

Sorry to hear that you are going through this.

Christmas isnt that special around here. We do a couple of family gatherings and we do the tree thing/christmas crib but thats about it.

Havent been doing the christmas crib/tree thing the last few years. My sisters and I grew up and my parents no longer care about this.

At first it felt bad because I missed those things, Im quite childish so the whole christmas lights and all was very exciting/great thing to look at for several days but I have started my own tradition of watching Miracle on 34th street(came across it when I was spending christmas alone in Ireland have grown fond of both versions) and it helps a lot making me see that christmas spirit is still there, even if my family doesnt care about it that much.

I can't even get a job in a library to avoid noise because people bring their kids in the library at all hours throughout the day, and they run around screaming and playing up.

thanks spongy. it seemed to help me a little when we created some new traditions. last year we bought some 2'-3' (less than a metre high) colourful christmas trees to put in our living room (white, pink, teal, black, silver), and this year we bought a tiny pink one, a purple one and a black & purple fibre optic one. and we also had a family celebration at our house on new year's eve, which was not typical for us. but this year even the new traditions are not bringing me any joy.

to be honest, i feel a little guilty as this is my daughter's last christmas before she is 18, and it is the last christmas with both of her parents in the same house . and i feel like i failed at making it special.

it's not christmas yet... And i don't think it necessarily takes lots of effort or fancystuff for a christmas to be special anyway. she's probably old enough to appreciate the simpler things

i feel a bit anxious because of all the differentness too

Christmas isn't the same for me anymore either, over the past 11 years I've lost family members there's only my mum sister and brother in law now.
I dread christmas now although I do my christmas shopping early I just can't get in the christmas spirit at all and its stinking hot in Australia so you don't feel like doing anything but stay at home with the air conditioning on.

OSB, yeah i hope so. maybe i will try to get her to bake cookies with me on saturday. that would be special. hmmmmm.

Aprilviolets, that's exactly how i feel too. my family has so few people left, and none are small children. even my in-laws have fewer relatives over for their christmas. it feels... quieter.

It's ok, I'm struggling too. I want to make Christmas special for my parents sake (it's just me and them this year) but I'm currently in a bipolar depression/downswing, so I keep getting physical paralysis and vocal slurring - full body slowing down. It's really difficult to a. get myself moving, and then b. keep myself moving, and my thoughts are slow and sluggish in turns. I can only get a very little bit done each day and I'm running out of time.

Also, I know that my poor state of health has a very upsetting effect on my parents, especially when they thought the new medication would be the cure-all for the bipolar. It's been a really hard year for us, in some ways my parents more than me because they can see me as I am from an outside perspective each day and I can't - and none of us were prepared for the possibility of this happening (there are no cases of diagnosed bipolar on either side of my family).

.....

Last edited by PaintingDiva on 24 Dec 2011, 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

great list, PaintingDiva (well, the parts of it i got through. i am not too great at paying close attention to much at the moment, but i read some of it).

oh, heck. just overheard my coworkers talking and i had forgotten... i won't get paid for the holidays we are closed as i just went down to part time (30 hours a week) and so it isn't in my contract. #$%#&^#$&Q#$! !! !!

I'm working the graveyard shift. Every weekend, my sleep schedule gets up-ended if I have to attend a social event on the weekend. When that happens, I'm generally in poor spirits because I'm overtired.

I'm just not feeling the Christmas spirit this year. I've been too involved in my regular job and a side project to slow down and become present to the Christmas spirit. It doesn't help that I have to work Christmas. Thanks to this f--king job, my Christmas is ruined. I ended up staying at home with no visual reminders that it's Christmas. That made me really sad then I drank myself silly.

I hope you have a good day Ms lexian. x

Ditto

Good Morning and Good News
Some of us are prone to things like DaBlues
For me, music seems to help, that's why they call it the blues
But seriously, it's a very common thing for a whole year to be realized all at once.
For obvious reasons, this gets very overwhelming in a hurry.
When I am overwhelmed, I need a diversion
Helping others is very helpful



Just know that you are not alone and it's not all your fault
You have a creative dossier
pretty as a bouquet
with a very intelligent sway
Try to stay grateful and take the blues with a grain of salt

thank you for all your christmas cheer Henbane and Moog!

you are so kind, Dawalker!! ! and i still think you are poetic.

i managed to make the morning special for ex-husband and child, so it is going well. and they were so incredibly thoughtful in return that it would be selfish to be bummed out. sometimes i need to get out of my own head and stop questioning things... it helps to just flow and not beat myself up.

BitterGeek, i feel your pain. i used to work night shifts at a job, and on the holidays i would come home, exhausted, to rowdy house-parties that were at the tail end. it sounds better than an empty house, but it was extremely depressing. i couldn't get into anyone's mindset and couldn't catch up on partying before everyone else was passed out. they'd be telling stories about the great parties for years, and my memories were working the fricking cash register for people feeding their munchies late at night.

i hope you all have had wonderful days today, in whatever way works for youuuuuuu!! !