For what it's worth

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Well, I'm kind of surprised nobody's mentioned this yet (at least in this thread). I didn't read every reply though, but did do a quick search on the page and couldn't find any mention of it.

I don't know if you've heard this adice before. If you have, sorry.

The first thing that jumped out at me in your OP was this:



If you've already heard this before, go ahead and skip this.

When you've got serious problems to address, you're not going to be well equipped to do it if this is how you're making life bearable. You cannot deal with RL problems effectively with a fogged head.

This is the first thing I would deal with if I were you. If you don't, no one can be of much help. It would be like trying to explain in words how to get out of a maze, to a deaf person, or at least someone very hard of hearing.

Unless and until you're willing to deal with that, I don't believe any help offered would do any good at all.

Sorry if this hurts you're feelings, but I've dealt with drugs and drinking problems myself, and watched a TON of other people go through this as well. Without a clear head, anything else you try will not work out well. Start with that.

For now, that's all I have to offer.

Sorry if this is curt and blunt, but having been through this with myself and several friends, I have not found any more effective way to address this issue.

You need to deal with that first. If you're willing to, you stand a chance of getting past the real issues you're facing. If you aren't, you don't.

That is entirely up to you.

So, are you willing?

EDIT: Sweetleaf, I'm not saying you're necessarily an alcoholic or an addict. Only that use of alcohol and drugs complicate already complicated issues. It's too hard to deal with the underlying issues that seem to be causing you to use alcohol and cannabis to make them bearable, because there is no telling what's could be caused by the alcohol and/or cannabis, and what could be caused by other problems, until and unless you take both of them out of the equation. You don't have to be an addict for them to cause complications. Once those are out of the picture, then it's what's left that can be dealt with. Make sense?

Well I can respect your opinion, but I just don't see the cannabis causing problems at least at this point.........and other then that I am certainly not even close to ready to consider going totally sober in general and don't know that would be something I would ever want to do. I am not trying to be difficult, stubborn or rudely reject your advice but at this time I just don't really see it happening so I don't want to lie and say starting today I'm not drinking or smoking as that would be false.

Well I was more trying in the hopes I wouldn't fail at everything and in the hopes things would get better.......then after years of seeming to fail at everything(well other than school when I was a kid) and things progressively getting worse I guess I finally got fed up and the horrid numbness that I never had before the PTSD does not help so sometimes it just feels like I shouldn't bother anymore. kinda learned helplessness I never could get out of the situation so I got used to it and now its hard to see any other options. I might try therapy again if I can ever afford it but yeah from past experience it does not seem to help a whole lot.

Also just to keep things clear its not so much she would not want to help, its more she usually does not know how to help and cannot really afford to help with the financial aspect. Not to mention in reality I am 22 I shouldn't even be so dependent on others anyways.

That's not true. If you could function normally maybe but not when you have an illness. Depression and PTSD are real illnesses and from the looks of it you have quite a severe case of both. I think you just need to get really aggressive in letting people know you NEED HELP and NOW! I mean, you can be assertive when it's for other people. You did so for your brother when your mother's boyfriend wasn't treating him right. Can't you get angry like that for yourself?

Well, it seems like the main issue isn't beliefs but negative emotional triggers. I mean, there's fear, not just of failure, but even worse is the fear of being judged and forsaken by people. There has to be a way to work through those things so that they don't grind your life to a halt. I don't think there's anything outside that preventing a happier life, but that's the crux of it.