It's hard not to be jealous of

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There are definitely people who are lucky in life. I suspect they are the kind of people who are so much like everyone else that they just fit in well. Their social language is the same as most everyone else's. I've never aspired to be like everyone else so it doesn't bother me that I don't fit in when other people do.

Yes, it bothers me that I can't seem to be at ease with most of the world, but I don't begrudge other people's success. I suppose it doesn't hurt that, while I can't seem to form intimate relationships, at least I can earn a living and have a few friends that I can rely on.

Well to reverse the perspective for a moment. One could flip the coin in how you view such people and say well given the chance you've had in life given the privileges you've been born into given the wealth you enjoy is that all you can do?

For example. In the country I live in Prince William is the same age as me and he is second in line to inherit the British Crown upon the death of Elizabeth I and his father Prince Charles. He was born into wealth, privilege and status.

What has he done with his life? He's currently a helicopter pilot for the sea rescue branch of the Royal Air Force. A rather noble job one might think, but he's currently based on the poxy Falkland Islands in the middle of nowhere. probably cause its easier to manage his security. Then look at what his mother did, the late princess Diana and her charity work and awareness she did for AIDS, Land mine victims and the various causes she championed in the press prior to her easily explainable straight forward death in a road accident. (sorry conspiracy nuts your on your own for that one)

You compare that legacy to him and you think to yourself, is that all you can do is be a helicopter pilot in the airforce? Your the prince of the worlds 5th wealthiest nation on the planet and in your 30 years of existence all you've managed to achieve is becoming a helicopter pilot and married some nob head from your "productive" university course were you got a degree in the "history of arse(art)" at a scottish university that you held hostage for 3 years from all the overkill of security.

So it doesn't have to be an exercise in self depreciation when examining such folk. I don't see too many of them being happy given how many of these so called celebrities seem to end up in rehabilitation services and be on the end of constant media attention.

Rather then focusing on what others have and the advantages they have over you it's more productive to appreciate the things you may take for granted or not even acknowledged are the "silver spoons" and privilege's that others less fortunate then yourself may find to envy in you.

This grates a nerve with me because people make this assumption about me all the time even on this site.

To look at me I am an ex sports promotions model who is 6'3" and 165 pounds. I have a few degrees and other formal qualifications which mean I could earn over 100 grand a year. Most of my ex's are sports professionals with family money and look like models. I recently got offered a job earning over 70,000 a year writing bus time tables.

What people dont see is an aspie with major social axiety, with 2 disabled children who i have 7nights a week so i never get a break except at university, i have zero family support and i get so lonely i cry myself to sleep at night. I had to turn down the well paying government job that was handed to me so that i could focus on my kids. I am skinny because I have eating disorders.

People never see the whole picture. It is easy to seem jealous but remember that you may only be seeing the few good points in their life.

That may be the case with some people, but not all.

When your worst problems are the fact your grandmother talks s**t about you and you've got acne because you're too precious to go on the pill because you have to take it every morning, you don't really have any problems.

Yes, some people have other problems, others don't. You get to know people when you live with them for a long time.

If it helps, I'm not jealous of you, Solvejg. You don't sound like you have an easy life.

I understand where the OP is coming from, but here's another perspective:

Although my life (or appearance of my life to others) is not really comparable to Solvejg's, I too have had jealousy vibes for all of my life. These days, people around me are jealous, simply because I don't need to work and present as having a charmed life. But, they don't even know the reasons why this is possible for us. No, we never won the lottery, my husband and I come from working class backgrounds and he has an average income.

The simple reason is that we suffered years of heartbreak, as we tried for a baby with several failed attempts at fertility treatment(some might not understand this as a big deal, but to us it was everything, at the time). She eventually came along, but during that time, we had been saving a little each month, for the needs of our elusive baby. We were married 11 years before it finally happened, so we'd saved much more than we anticipated, enough to pay off the mortgage. We have simple needs, probably due to Aspie traits more than anything else (is that something to be jealous of?), so saving up wasn't much of a challenge.

Yes, we have our baby and that ordeal is over. But, now we find we have a very demanding, yet delightful, child. I really can't work anyway, as she completely exhausts me. I don't have the social skills to get a standard fitting in with school hours job either, even if I had the puff. People don't see that at all and some even seem angry at me for being so 'fortunate'.

Things aren't always as they seem. But, I admit I am fortunate in not possessing the jealousy 'gene' or whatever it is.

Things may not always be as they seem.

But even if people have a s**t life and then win the life lottery without really trying, I can't stop these feelings.
I have a s**t life and didn't win it. I'm not saying my problems are worse, you can't compare. But they're pretty bad.