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I feel like a failure.

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Henbane
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22 Feb 2012, 5:31 pm

You're not a failure. You only graduated last summer. It can take several years or more to find your niche jobwise, in an ideal economic climate, and this is far from ideal. So give yourself a break with the job situation.

Maybe you could go to graduate school? Or train for something more specific, something vocational? What skills are actually needed in your state?

I agree with other people that your mother seems to be a problem that ideally you should get away from. You're an adult now, and getting more experience of living alone, not necessarily with a man, would be good for you. I think it can be very good for a young woman to spend a year or two living independently, or with friends, before living with a partner.

As for your weight, I do understand this problem. Maybe you're not meant to be thin. Or maybe you're not doing quite the right thing to lose weight. Can you get any advice from a dietician or someone trained in exercise?

I'm being a bit of a hypocrite here, because my life is generally a mess. But you are definitely not a failure in any way, shape, or form.



Erisad
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22 Feb 2012, 5:39 pm

Henbane wrote:
You're not a failure. You only graduated last summer. It can take several years or more to find your niche jobwise, in an ideal economic climate, and this is far from ideal. So give yourself a break with the job situation.

Maybe you could go to graduate school? Or train for something more specific, something vocational? What skills are actually needed in your state?

I agree with other people that your mother seems to be a problem that ideally you should get away from. You're an adult now, and getting more experience of living alone, not necessarily with a man, would be good for you. I think it can be very good for a young woman to spend a year or two living independently, or with friends, before living with a partner.

As for your weight, I do understand this problem. Maybe you're not meant to be thin. Or maybe you're not doing quite the right thing to lose weight. Can you get any advice from a dietician or someone trained in exercise?

I'm being a bit of a hypocrite here, because my life is generally a mess. But you are definitely not a failure in any way, shape, or form.


Well, I wanted to move out after I bought a car. Losing my job is going to push this back. I wanted to have a car by the summer and be moved out by 2013. Now...this is probably going to push this back several months to however long it takes to get me employed. I'm applying for unemployment so maybe that will help me in the meantime. I'm just scared that I'll be stuck at home forever. >.<



rabbittss
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22 Feb 2012, 6:55 pm

Eh it's the same old same old. Alice Cooper said it best. " Can't get a job cause I don't got a Car, Can't get a Car Cause I don't got a Job... Trapped in America."



Erisad
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22 Feb 2012, 6:57 pm

rabbittss wrote:
Eh it's the same old same old. Alice Cooper said it best. " Can't get a job cause I don't got a Car, Can't get a Car Cause I don't got a Job... Trapped in America."


Yup. It's really frustrating. :/



rabbittss
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22 Feb 2012, 7:01 pm

Erisad wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
Eh it's the same old same old. Alice Cooper said it best. " Can't get a job cause I don't got a Car, Can't get a Car Cause I don't got a Job... Trapped in America."


Yup. It's really frustrating. :/


Been dealing with it since I was 16, closest town is 10 miles, closest town with any jobs worth doing is 45. Most of them won't even talk to you if you don't have a DL. Seems like 50% of the jobs going either require a CDL or a CNA.. :roll:

The Foreigners are welcome to this dump, if they can make it work for them, more power to them. I wanna move some place where not having a car isn't a virtual slow spiral death sentence.



Erisad
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22 Feb 2012, 7:03 pm

rabbittss wrote:
Erisad wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
Eh it's the same old same old. Alice Cooper said it best. " Can't get a job cause I don't got a Car, Can't get a Car Cause I don't got a Job... Trapped in America."


Yup. It's really frustrating. :/


Been dealing with it since I was 16, closest town is 10 miles, closest town with any jobs worth doing is 45. Most of them won't even talk to you if you don't have a DL. Seems like 50% of the jobs going either require a CDL or a CNA.. :roll:

The Foreigners are welcome to this dump, if they can make it work for them, more power to them. I wanna move some place where not having a car isn't a virtual slow spiral death sentence.


We need more public transportation in the U.S. It's ridiculous how much of a necessity having a car is. :(



Tequila
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22 Feb 2012, 7:06 pm

Henbane wrote:
As for your weight, I do understand this problem. Maybe you're not meant to be thin. Or maybe you're not doing quite the right thing to lose weight. Can you get any advice from a dietician or someone trained in exercise?


I wouldn't stress about it. I'd let it go. Lots of ladies just aren't meant to be slim. Us fellas really don't give a fiddler's you know. We really don't. ;)



Erisad
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22 Feb 2012, 7:08 pm

Tequila wrote:
Henbane wrote:
As for your weight, I do understand this problem. Maybe you're not meant to be thin. Or maybe you're not doing quite the right thing to lose weight. Can you get any advice from a dietician or someone trained in exercise?


I wouldn't stress about it. I'd let it go. Lots of ladies just aren't meant to be slim. Us fellas really don't give a fiddler's you know. We really don't. ;)


I don't know. I haven't been slim since I was 9 years old. I just want to get to a healthy weight, which requires me to drop at least 50-60 pounds. My bf says he doesn't care and likes me as I am now and would like me at any size but I hate how I look.



Tequila
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22 Feb 2012, 7:09 pm

Erisad wrote:
My bf says he doesn't care and likes me as I am now and would like me at any size but I hate how I look.


Your squeeze has the right idea.

Do you read Cosmo and all that bobbins?



rabbittss
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22 Feb 2012, 7:13 pm

Erisad wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
Erisad wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
Eh it's the same old same old. Alice Cooper said it best. " Can't get a job cause I don't got a Car, Can't get a Car Cause I don't got a Job... Trapped in America."


Yup. It's really frustrating. :/


Been dealing with it since I was 16, closest town is 10 miles, closest town with any jobs worth doing is 45. Most of them won't even talk to you if you don't have a DL. Seems like 50% of the jobs going either require a CDL or a CNA.. :roll:

The Foreigners are welcome to this dump, if they can make it work for them, more power to them. I wanna move some place where not having a car isn't a virtual slow spiral death sentence.


We need more public transportation in the U.S. It's ridiculous how much of a necessity having a car is. :(


I agree entirely, but we won't get it for several reasons. 1, our population density is too low in most metro areas to make it cost effective, and since we seem stuck in this idea of cost effectiveness as the priority. 2, without giving municipal governments the right to dictate how bus,tram,or light rail lines will be run, and giving them right of way, we are constantly going to be hamstrung by problems related to NIMBYism. 3, we haven't ever bothered to do anything about the stigma attached to using public transit. 4, the few cities that are working on it don't push the construction envelope hard enough, it shouldn't take 30 years to build after 10 years of studies and infographics and soil samples.. but it does for some reason.



Tequila
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22 Feb 2012, 7:16 pm

rabbittss wrote:
I agree entirely, but we won't get it for several reasons. 1, our population density is too low in most metro areas to make it cost effective


The main problem is that North America is not Europe. Public transport in Britain and Ireland is not that clever outside the major cities.



Erisad
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22 Feb 2012, 7:16 pm

Tequila wrote:
Erisad wrote:
My bf says he doesn't care and likes me as I am now and would like me at any size but I hate how I look.


Your squeeze has the right idea.

Do you read Cosmo and all that bobbins?


Sometimes. I do watch a bit of TV, now that I'm unemployed. I just hate seeing my body. Hence why I don't own a full length mirror and spend most of my shower with my eyes closed, otherwise I'll see what I don't like and get sad. :(



Erisad
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22 Feb 2012, 7:17 pm

Tequila wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
I agree entirely, but we won't get it for several reasons. 1, our population density is too low in most metro areas to make it cost effective


The main problem is that North America is not Europe. Public transport in Britain and Ireland is not that clever outside the major cities.


So you'd have to live in the city to benefit from public transit anyway? Boooo. :P



Tequila
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22 Feb 2012, 7:17 pm

Erisad wrote:
Hence why I don't own a full length mirror and spend most of my shower with my eyes closed, otherwise I'll see what I don't like and get sad. :(


You're blowing it out of proportion. Yes, you may be a little overweight but it's not life-threatening. It's just a little tub. And it makes you look feminine. :)



hale_bopp
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22 Feb 2012, 7:22 pm

You don't suck, Erisad. You're 22 years old and your life is just starting.

You have a BF who cares about you very much, you have a university degree. The fact you were even able to get a job so quickly is success in my book, whether you kept it or not.



Erisad
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22 Feb 2012, 7:23 pm

Tequila wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Hence why I don't own a full length mirror and spend most of my shower with my eyes closed, otherwise I'll see what I don't like and get sad. :(


You're blowing it out of proportion. Yes, you may be a little overweight but it's not life-threatening. It's just a little tub. And it makes you look feminine. :)


Pudgy bellies and ginormous thighs are NOT feminine. You're only allowed to have fat in your breasts, ass and hips. Anywhere else and it's seen as disgusting.