In defense of escapism

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hmm if only reading still did it for me.

Walking 30 minutes often produces many subtle but cumulatively-significant positive changes in your mind and body. Consider that the famous historical Greek doctor Hippocrates said, "Walking is man's best medicine."

Last edited by Ragtime on 15 Mar 2012, 10:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

I use music as a world into which to espace. Music is an actual realm to me. Like all fantasy realms, it is a place that you have to be careful not to get so caught up with, in getting too emotional with it, that you lose touch with your real life. When I say fantasy realm, I don't mean "something that doesn't actually exist". I think fantasy realms do exist. They just exist on a different plane, a non-physical one. They exist in the mind, on the "ideas" plane if you will. If this were not the case, the experience of enjoying listening to music or viewing art would be called delusional. Clearly, art is real, even though it isn't a physical object.

I can relate 100% to this. And yet I have found a certain state of mind which seem to be the way we're really intended to function: a state in which I cheerfully handle the detailed, and even the tedious necessary tasks of life. Oh, I'm not cheerful because of the tedium -- that would be crazy. In these particular "ideal" states of mind, I'm cheerful in spite of, or "aside from", the tedium of the tasks. I think it's called mirth. No way can I simply conjure up this state of mind by mere force of will (I wish!), but my will to not worry does have influence in being feeling both positive and fully analytical at the same time. Using internal humor helps with this -- laughing just a bit inside at the absurdity of some of the problems that present themselves in life.

Sure, we all recognize the specific ironies in our personal struggles -- reality is full of irony -- but we often do so bitterly, rather than choosing to view it with, perhaps, a little mood-lightening chuckle. That said, sometimes life does require 100% of our efforts, and sometimes there is no humor to be found whatsoever. But often enough, there is humor if you look for it.

Because control makes us feel safe, we like to believe at least on some level that we are more powerful than we are -- that we can use that perceived high power to keep ourselves safe, so we will feel at peace. But that generates its own stress, in regards to what I was saying yesterday, by mentally giving yourself more responsibility than you, in reality, have the physical power to enforce. In other words, feeling guilty beyond your means to act, or have acted.

On the contrary, the peace I have found is in the freedom that comes from accepting the following: "You know what? I'm a human being, and therefore I AM pretty powerless. So it's NOT my fault when something goes wrong that was not within my actual sphere of influence. It's sad that bad things happen. But first and foremost, I will recognize my capabilities and their limitations, and in that context I will know how to feel about outcomes." We tend to think we can control outcomes; we can't. We can control effort. So, by definition, bad outcomes are not something we can logically feel guilty about if our sincere efforts were toward good outcomes. It's right to feel sadness in proportion to any particular bad outcome you tried to avoid to the best of your ability, but not self-blame. Ridding oneself of false guilt is a healthy and rejuvenating exercise.

Depression has addictive qualities, and it's never healthy, so it needs to be rejected with the disrespectful rebellion you have in your entire arsenal. Give depression a big fat middle finger, right in its face -- or, if you prefer, leave it bleeding and dying in an alley somewhere, and walk away with your head held high -- and then get on with your life. That's probably the best advice I could give regarding depression.

What I've recently formulated to be my personal credo, to remind myself of, is: "Don't be emotional and static; be logical and dynamic." In other words, keep moving through life with energy -- throw yourself into some positive and healthy personal goal, like a fitness regimen. Aspie that I know I am, I'm training myself to stop overthinking and under-acting, and instead start shifting some of my considerable Aspie mental energies into positive, physical outlets. Light, regular exercise makes the body feel good, and releases chemicals that make the mind feel good as well. The positive effect on me has often been extraordinary -- wholly unable to be equaled through just sitting and thinking, which is what I generally do too much of.

Well I get plenty of walking in.....but yeah for me to actually be able to escape and have some time to relax I at least need a drink or something. But healthy things like walking and reading are good to reading just is not something I can enjoy anymore.

Beer seems to have been designed for stress. And well-designed it is, I might add! I'm a one-or-two-beer man myself. I just believe in getting buzzed, not going further. I can see certain aspects of life more clearly when buzzed, surprisingly -- I guess because, at that moment, stress isn't inhibiting my mind with worry.

Yeah usually when I drink I might get a little drunk.....but I don't like getting totally wasted like I used to, before I was 21.

Oh and I see music was mentioned, that is certainly something I could not do without.

I agree, I had an issue with too much escapism a little while back. However, lately I've been obsessing over the real world too much and its really gotten to me and I'm really focusing on the real world a lot which goes back to the points you made. That post was an interesting read though, I could definitely relate.

Were it not for escapism, I would have put a bullet in my head a very, very long time ago.

The world just hurts too much, y'know?

If I didn't have escapism, I would have lost it a long time ago. I might not even be around today, so escapism can be healthy.

I was just going to ask you if music or any other special interests are something you can escape into sometimes, Sweetleaf.

I escape into music on an almost daily basis (unless illness, family gatherings, or something unexpected occurs, of course). If it weren't for music, I'm sure I'd have lost my mind a long time ago.

When I was much younger (elementary school age), learning and reading was my escape... I was like a sponge, absorbing all the information I could possibly learn and read about. My mom still says that, to this very day.

When I went to middle school though, I met a whole different crowd that was a lot more into music than my former elementary school classmates - as the majority of them went to a different middle school because I lived just past that other school's boundary lines. Anyway, I ended up taking some audio / visual and music classes, and was eventually placed with other students who helped organize school dances. It didn't take long before discovering that music was another escape for me, that eventually became a major part of my life.

Exactly.

It's an immeasurably huge part of my life as well. My mom once accused me of using it as an emotional crutch. I was like, "So?"

Okay, a bit of humor here...

"Next time you're overstressed, head on out to Phuket Island!" (if pronouced "f*** it", the advice makes a lot of sense!)

The neat thing is, the Thai island (actually pronounced "Poo-KAY") is a really attractive place to get away to (or imagine doing so).




Escapism is about our own personal "f*** it" islands.