Parents lying and manipulating me

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I have actually talked quite a bit about this with the individual counselor. He's planning to send a communication to the family counselor to try to get him to realize how ineffective his approach with me and my parents is. It's still in the works.

It sounds like you actually want your independence Ashley.
It felt very satisfying when I finally moved out for good and made my own decisions about things... of course I made a A LOT of mistakes.. but that is part of learning and growing.

Ashley, I'm very concerned about your OCD. Are you taking any meds for it? I am the parent of a 15 year old with AS, ADD and OCD. A year ago his OCD was severe and he could barely do anything all day except take showers, wipe down counters and himself, and he had reached the point where he would barely leave the house. We got a different psychiatrist and some better meds, at least a more careful dose.

The improvement over a month was huge. If he had been in his 20s and wanted independence I would never had let it happen, because he was too stressed and overwhelmed with the OCD. I had to deal with his dad at the same time who is not very understanding of AS people and just wanted to punish him or have him talk out his problems. The OCD needed meds, not talk.

If I were you, I would be afraid to move away from my parents until my OCD was under control and I felt confident and liked myself. Your parents need to do more to make you feel loved and cared for. They need to get a clue and get you the help you deserve.

Well given my parents' definetion of "independence," (having no one to look out for you while they control the big things you do in life and continue to try to mold you into what they want you to be) I don't want it. Interestingly, I THOUGHT I wanted freedom when I was a 18-20, but then I realized that what I really need is gentle guidance.

They would love it if I took meds because I wouldn't be able to see their constant forming as clearly, that would weaken my resistance to it, destroy my creative thoughts, and make them look like good parents because I seem to be ok by society's standards. All psychiatric drugs do is drown out that little voice that tells you the truth.

namaste, it's good that you are able to recognize your parents' foul motives.

I should also put in that my parents have been saying "you're a big girl now. You should be able to (fill in the blank)." rather than letting me do things when I was ready all my life. And yeah, even as they continue to form me all the time. So this is really just a same old pattern that's got me down all my life.

Update: Well... on Saturday my parents and I were arguing. They were complaining that I didn't get "help" with my OCD. Truth is, I've been through altogether 5 or 6 therapists in my life for OCD and related problems, including my current phone counselor. I tried to confront them and said something to the effect of, "Well what if there's nothing wrong with me after all and the problem is you and dad's constant mental abuse?" My mom responded with, "Well then you need to get help to deal with our mental abuse!" That's what I've been trying to do with my current phone counselor, but I cannot solve a problem that's not mine. They're the ones who need the help, and yet every time there's a "family therapy" session all my parents are willing to talk about is my OCD and forcing me to be "independent", never their own problems!