I knew it would not take long.
27 Apr 2012, 7:02 pm
Can't someone create a pill that will just make me feel better.......maybe even good, that never runs out? cause that's what it is with everything that helps, works great.....unless you don't have it. So that is a little side issue that sometimes contributes. keeping that in mind might help me realize there no impending doom my symptoms just became more apparent, but that they are symptoms not proof of any impending doom.
I don't know, I guess I sort of needed to do some venting...
On the bright side though my friend (who actually is understanding and helpful about this sort of thing) is coming to pick me up and take me to his house, where i don't have to worry about my mom or anyone making it worse due to me not saying how anxious and depressed I feel today them saying something that gets taken wrong and causes them to get defensive in turn causing me to get defensive in which case all hell would probably break lose. And I don't want that.
I'm glad you vented. If you are anything like me, your moods are cyclic. You're feeling down now, but you will feel better. Perhaps spending time with your friend is just the ticket.
Something else to consider is that you are having a positive effect on your friend's life. He seems to care about you, and that means he must like having you around. Even when you are at your worst, in some way you are making him happy. Kind of mind-blowing, isn't it?
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
27 Apr 2012, 7:36 pm
Can't someone create a pill that will just make me feel better.......maybe even good, that never runs out? cause that's what it is with everything that helps, works great.....unless you don't have it. So that is a little side issue that sometimes contributes. keeping that in mind might help me realize there no impending doom my symptoms just became more apparent, but that they are symptoms not proof of any impending doom.
I don't know, I guess I sort of needed to do some venting...
On the bright side though my friend (who actually is understanding and helpful about this sort of thing) is coming to pick me up and take me to his house, where i don't have to worry about my mom or anyone making it worse due to me not saying how anxious and depressed I feel today them saying something that gets taken wrong and causes them to get defensive in turn causing me to get defensive in which case all hell would probably break lose. And I don't want that.
I'm glad you vented. If you are anything like me, your moods are cyclic. You're feeling down now, but you will feel better. Perhaps spending time with your friend is just the ticket.
Something else to consider is that you are having a positive effect on your friend's life. He seems to care about you, and that means he must like having you around. Even when you are at your worst, in some way you are making him happy. Kind of mind-blowing, isn't it?
Well I seemed to be feeling better at my friends house but now I'm back at my moms house and its only been a few hours but I just can't seem to get ahold of myself...I was crying because I felt so anxious and on edge, I'm a little better then that now but I think I probably should have stayed up there another day. I mean I guess maybe i feel like here I have to kind of put on an act wile suppressing how I feel just to avoid any drama...I mean its difficult to explain but part of the reason I'm at my friends house so much is because I feel like I have no where else to go and even he gets it. I just don't want to be a burden to the one really close friend I have.....I mean if I wasn't so self concious about that I would have already asked if we could try and arrange for me to just live there, the only problem with that also though would be its technically not really his house more like a family cabin.
But then even that is stressful because I'm a 22, and he's like 40 something and well we're really close.....other people find it weird and I can tell that they(even family members) wonder if we're you know going out not that there's anything illegal there, but we're not and it gets a little annoying when people assume that
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
28 Apr 2012, 12:17 am
Well I seemed to be feeling better at my friends house but now I'm back at my moms house and its only been a few hours but I just can't seem to get ahold of myself...I was crying because I felt so anxious and on edge, I'm a little better then that now but I think I probably should have stayed up there another day. I mean I guess maybe i feel like here I have to kind of put on an act wile suppressing how I feel just to avoid any drama...I mean its difficult to explain but part of the reason I'm at my friends house so much is because I feel like I have no where else to go and even he gets it. I just don't want to be a burden to the one really close friend I have.....I mean if I wasn't so self concious about that I would have already asked if we could try and arrange for me to just live there, the only problem with that also though would be its technically not really his house more like a family cabin.
But then even that is stressful because I'm a 22, and he's like 40 something and well we're really close.....other people find it weird and I can tell that they(even family members) wonder if we're you know going out not that there's anything illegal there, but we're not and it gets a little annoying when people assume that[/quote]
It sounds like your family home is a pretty toxic environment for you.
I think if you are worried about being a burden on your friends, you need to express that concern to them. Most likely they will ease your mind on that.
It might be that you have to get out of your parent's home in order to feel better.
Aspies tend to be comfortable with people outside of their age group, either much older or much younger, so the fact you have a friend who is about double your age is not unusual. Don't be too concerned what other people think. I know that is easy to say (I worry about what people think of me all the time), but you have a person who makes you feel good (or at least feel better). That is so precious. I wish I had something like that. Don't allow other people's opinions to ruin that.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
29 Apr 2012, 9:12 am
But then even that is stressful because I'm a 22, and he's like 40 something and well we're really close.....other people find it weird and I can tell that they(even family members) wonder if we're you know going out not that there's anything illegal there, but we're not and it gets a little annoying when people assume that
It sounds like your family home is a pretty toxic environment for you.
I think if you are worried about being a burden on your friends, you need to express that concern to them. Most likely they will ease your mind on that.
It might be that you have to get out of your parent's home in order to feel better.
Yeah its certainly not the best environment though, but I don't really have much of a choice other then just avoiding my moms house as much as possible....obviously I still have to show up sometimes to give the impression I do in fact still live there.
Aspies tend to be comfortable with people outside of their age group, either much older or much younger, so the fact you have a friend who is about double your age is not unusual. Don't be too concerned what other people think. I know that is easy to say (I worry about what people think of me all the time), but you have a person who makes you feel good (or at least feel better). That is so precious. I wish I had something like that. Don't allow other people's opinions to ruin that.
Yeah I mean it doesn't bother me that me and him are friends...so why should I worry about what anyone else might think? But yeah its easier said than done to not be concerned about things like that, I agree it is a good idea though.
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
