There's no point.....

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No, you don't need to sleep completely. Just to relax and try to sleep. It doesn't matter if you succeed.


What about trying to write it down on paper ?


It's similar to a medicine. It may or may not work. But do you need to be interested in a drug to take it?


That's paradoxical, no ?

I just don't care.

I have been thinking almost the exact same thing. At least you are not alone in thinking that.

Heh, maybe we could start some sort of club?

Looking for friends with the same goal, right ?

no, I'm done looking for friends, I'm always the one to put out the effort, only to get nothing in return. And I'm done with that.

You may be interested by this :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKiAz6ndUbU

It really just sounds like there's lots on your plate to think about rather than things getting better not being a possibility.

If things are slow, you're stuck in a holding pattern, and you're not enjoying where you're at - its a great time to sort out why you're there, why you hate being there, what it means, and really sort out how many of what tools you have at your disposal to get out and do something that feels properly right with your life. Actually getting to the end goal of implementing and improving life is a pretty big order to fill but assessing what that path even is - that's something you definitely need to take into your own hands. Starting the quest to find paths, test them, etc. is critical when you're feeling like this; otherwise you're marinating in unhappiness and not turning it into fuel.

There was to much talking, I couldn't focus on that. it muddled my brain

no things are moving, I'm starting a new counselor soon, I'm going to get service in OHSU. but everything is to much, everything is just muddles, I want everything to stop. it's like I'm sitting in the middle of a busy road and tons of cars are flying past me, it's all confusing, and I'm so tired, and there's to much noise, and it won't stop or slow down no matter what I do.

I've got another appt. with my psychologist on thursday

Sweet Pea hugs