In a major identity crisis right now

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So selling out is the best option?

As for the sex topic, is ending the relationship because she is asexual, saving herself until marriage, or refuses to do certain positions recommended?

Ending *any* relationship because of fundamental incompatibilities is recommended, in my opinion. It does neither of you any good to be in a relationship where you can't, in good conscience, respect the other person's position or where doing so would drastically compromise your own needs. It's just a fact of life, not good or bad.

If you were friends with a man and found out that he wanted to have sex with you, you'd end that relationship or at least make it very clear what the terms of your continued friendship were, right? Fundamental difference: you don't desire sex with men, and he does. That doesn't mean you can't still be friends, but of course it won't be a romantic relationship, and he also has the choice of discontinuing all contact with you if it's too awkward for him to hang around.

The thing I am concerned about is if I do that, she will accuse me of "not loving her for her" or "using her", even if it isn't true. I am very self-conscious about it.

You have a right to have your own needs, just as she has every right to be incompatible with those needs. So, you part ways if that happens.

Yes, every relationship requires compromise, and if you were *really* out there with your requirements ("I MUST have someone who is 5'1.5", 137 lbs., with strawberry blonde hair and two different color eyes, and she must be an ovolactovegetarian Druid and must want to have ten kids") then you'd just be shooting yourself in the foot and would have to seriously rethink how human relationships go.

But wanting a healthy sex life is *not* out of the realm of ordinary. Not by a long shot, for someone your age (okay, I know the Aspie thing makes it difficult, it does for me, too). It's mandatory for me to have a lot of sex in a "romantic" relationship and I don't feel the slightest bit bad about that. I'll compromise sometimes on the quality or quantity because I recognize that not everyone is great at learning how to touch someone else and because it takes time to tune in to another person, but I've learned over time how to overcome that self-consciousness that first appears. I think you need to do that and to be not so rigid in how you view the world. I'm guessing there's a cornucopia of available women that you could potentially date, if you could get out of your current mindset. I wish you luck!

I'm more center left, but even I get tired of the ranting of the left. I get tired of the ranting of the right. Both have some good points, but they're so buried in the hyperbole it's hard to hear them. And I don't think either side is interested in doing what's best for the bulk of the population, only in winning. I also like many libertarian ideas.

But in the end, the White House & Congress aren't calling me, so it's actually just philosophical speculation at the end of the day & it doesn't get my garden weeded.

Political bigotry seems to be in vogue right now, it's the new religion for many people.

I don't find that I fit comfortably in any one group, either, whether political, religious, or activity. Adds to the sense of not fitting, but I think it may be true for everyone, AS or NT. Fitting in often comes w/the price of giving something up for everyone. And I think Aspies are less likely to see the benefits of not expressing some part of themselves.

Not much help, more random thoughts.

aahhhhh I love your sweet pea hugs...............they always cheer me up.

To the OP - I live in a Toronto, Canada ,and the political leanings here are overwhelmingly left wing. I vote conservative (like Republican in the Canadian system) and have some right wing view points, the strongest one being my support of Israel. I do sometimes feel at odds with the people I talk to (even my close friend) as they tend to be very left wing.......people have very strong feelings about politics/religion and it's easy to get in awkward social situations/ accidentally offend people when discussing these things. These topics come up from time to time with my friend and others (and I don't suppress my opinions when they do) but I try to avoid these topics as much as possible.

Right now, I just want everybody to mention at least one positive thing about me.