just got massively left out

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I don't think that if someone got through your NT act that they would find you were boring! I think that a lot of the stuff people do in groups is just very superficial (and in my opinion boring) but they do it anyway for some reason. In my opinion, people are more interesting underneath the superficial exterior. Anyway, it's just a suggestion. Personally, I find participating in group activities pretty unsatisfying in itself.

I think you may be right. But i think its more evryone in the groups always "got" the in-jokes. There was something they shared that I just didnt get. I got no A for effort though. Group dynamics piss me off. You're right tho that their shouldnt be ranks. Like i said much better off. Hope you end up feeling better though joeRose.

JoeRose. Just wanted i really sympathise with that feeling of frustration of being on the 'outside'.

It can be deeply frustrating and lonely sometimes. Ranks in friendship are really annoying, there was a lot of this at school, but in my personal experience I've found it a lot less severe when people get a bit older (25 plus), although it still is often there to some extent.

However, I have realised I generally don't enjoy socialising with larger groups, it's really hard work for me, so I try to meet people on an one to one basis over coffee or over shared interests.

This seems to work much better for me.

When I find people I can have comfortable silences with that's really special, those people often turn out to be good friends (at least for a while), one of them is my SO who I eventually married :).

Also sympathise with feeling generally melancholy / depressed - it can just make me feel so fed up sometimes for no reason and that's gets frustrating of itself.

Hope things work out ok for you at the pub though.

Zinia. I find people much more interesting under the superficial exterior too if you can get to it. I find lots of people don't seem to get the chance to talk about what they are deeply interested in because many people want to have superficial conversations only, and if you can get someone to share a deep interest with you, they often welcome it, it cuts down the small talk and it can pretty interesting to listen to (but then I'm generally interested in anything where someone is well-informed and has thought it through...)

[edited for typo]

That's one reason why I prefer one on one conversations. People are much more interesting if they're allowed to talk about all those "boring" things that they keep out of group conversations. I like talking to people about specific well-informed subjects, or sometimes even emotional ones. Last time I was out, I was all alone, but I ended up talking to a man who started crying in front of me about his son...I was touched that he was inspired to cry in front of a stranger--to me that seems like a much more important conversation for him as a person, then one about who won the last football game or the weather. Then later, I talked to a man about his bizarre theory of how people are brainwashed into left brain thinking. Even though these topics are unpredictable, I'd take them over meaningless banter any time. However, I often fall into being the listener. It's a bit harder sharing my own interests and stories.

I recently found out that my pretty much only friend for 20+ years was just using me when she couldn't find anyone more amusing to hang out with or when she was in some sort of trouble. But hey, that's okay. More time for myself now.