04 Jul 2012, 8:38 am
04 Jul 2012, 8:42 am
outofplace wrote:
My level of anxiety is much lower now. I wound up going to my parents house last night and being around other people and engaging in conversation got me off my feedback loop long enough to make rational sense of it all. He got out today and was told that his meds were not of sufficient dosage for his weight and that's why he was having the issues he had. They fixed that and I am hoping and praying that he can now go on to live a normal, productive, happy life. I'll still do what I can to assist him so long as he stays this course. However, I have decided that I will no longer go over to his place at odd hours of the night just to help him deal with his demons should he relapse back into the alcoholism. I simply can't be the sounding board for all of that hate, anger and rage anymore. If I do, it will be me who ends up in the hospital next time as I will have a nervous breakdown.
Wise action (going to your folks & getting out of the feedback loop) & wise decision.
I think by not going over to his place at odd hours, you're also showing (& this should probably be backed up w/words) that he can't come over to yours whenever he wants. Protecting your time, energy & space, setting those boundaries clearly will help both of you.
Be aware, he may do something stupid if he can't "have" you whenever he wants... don't take that on your head. It's manipulation & he needs to bear the consequences of his behavior. It's tough, being the compassionate people that we are, but in the long run it has the greatest potential for health for both of you.
Do you know what an "enabler" is? If you don't, you might look into it, could help clarify some of your thinking.
04 Jul 2012, 8:42 am
outofplace
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Joined: 10 Jun 2012
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux
05 Jul 2012, 3:34 pm
