Can't take it anymore.

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Tollorin
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10 Aug 2012, 11:34 pm

Please don't kill yourself.

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lostgirl1986
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11 Aug 2012, 9:01 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

lostgirl1986 wrote:

It sounds like that you're past the point of having to go to the emergency room. You NEED to go and tell them about this. They WILL help you, that's how I got help. Don't be scared of going to the psych ward, it's not bad unless you choose to have a bad experience by not listening to any of the doctors or nurses. It sounds like you waited too long for the counselling and you're at the point where you need to get help from the hospital. Yeah, it's scary at first because you don't know what to expect but once you're there you'll find that it's not as bad as you thought it would be. They'll stabilize you so your anxiety and depression gets better and the nurses are super nice there, they talk to you and they don't judge you at all.

They wont keep you there forever either, maybe a few days or two weeks. It depends how well you do really. Either way by the time I left I didn't even want to leave the hospital, it was so peaceful there but once you're out you'll find that you can cope with things a lot better. They'll probably set you up with some kind of program so you have resources to go to after.

I really don't know what other advice to give you. I feel for you, I really do because I've had low feelings as well but you need to do something about it. I mean you can basically try self-calming techniques, go to counselling, get medication and/or go to the hospital as a last resort. If you don't do anything there's not much else you can do. If you talk to your mum I bet you she'll understand and she'll take you straight to the hospital. If you want advice though, you need to take heed and do what we suggest though because there's not much else you can do at this point.

Hmm well I am kind of afraid of getting all defensive and distrustful, so I might come off as a little more difficult than they like....I am actually pretty good at pissing people off and that probably would include mental health professionals. I mean I don't feel I would be intentionally choosing a bad experience but I am not sure how I'd react to it all.

The health professionals are very patient and they've seen a lot. They can deal with bad tempers and even angry patients. What usually sets them off is if you try to escape, you do something illegal on the ward, you try to fight them or you really lose it and try to kill yourself or hurt someone basically. Trust me, a lot of people on the ward come off as defensive and distrustful, probably half of them are like that. Also, if you're in the hospital, there's a higher chance of you being able to get full disability, especially if you apply when you're on the psych ward and you get professionals to sign your papers.

Sweetleaf
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11 Aug 2012, 9:44 am

lostgirl1986 wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

lostgirl1986 wrote:

Well its possible I would really lose it and try to do those things, I mean like I said I really don't know how I'd react....but I kind of don't have many other options. I still gotta go to a concert with my brother in a couple days so I gotta wait till after that till I do anything and I guess I will either try and go through all the phone call/scheduling crap to try and talk to someone and if need be I suppose I'll do what I need to do. Just don't need crap from my mom or anyone else in my family about it.

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Sweetleaf
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11 Aug 2012, 10:16 am

DannyRaede wrote:

I disagree. It was designed to make sweetleaf laugh, and get him out of a state of depression.

Also not sure how I always give the impression of being male, but I am female not that it matters much to me what gender I am, but anyways I've seen funnier things...but even good comedy isn't going to get me out of this state of depression I don't think.

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Sweetleaf
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11 Aug 2012, 10:20 am

thewhitrbbit wrote:

If you call 911 and tell them you are suicidal, they will come and transport you.

And chances are that would cost me....it would be pricey enough just going there myself without the ambulance and I don't have money. As is Id have to get more money from my dad or explain to my mom what happened and have her pay it if she is willing....I just really don't need her trying to get too involved if I do have to resort to something like that. But yeah not sure that thing to help pay for health costs I got on covers the ambulance and I don't have 120 dollars for the emergency room which is what it would cost me on that program that is if they take me somewhere that accepts it.

I mean what sort of rights would I even have if it gets to that point and I do end up going? Can I tell them more or less to keep my mom and/or other family out of it and list a close friend as a contact if they need one or whatever?

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YellowBanana
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11 Aug 2012, 1:01 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

I mean what sort of rights would I even have if it gets to that point and I do end up going? Can I tell them more or less to keep my mom and/or other family out of it and list a close friend as a contact if they need one or whatever?

I can't say I know what rights you have ... I can only tell you that although I have had a few emergency consults at the psychiatric hospital my husband has never been informed about it. Aalthough they encouraged me to tell him, I haven't told him because I don't like him being upset which he clearly would be if he knew about it - he knows I've been to the psychiatrist but he doesn't know the nature of it, That said, if I were ever admitted to the psychiatric hospital, he would of course have to know.

You are an adult, so I'd say they wouldn't tell your mom and you can list whoever you want as an emergency contact, but if it came to you being admitted that'd be pretty tough to hide from her.

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lostgirl1986
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11 Aug 2012, 9:11 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

thewhitrbbit wrote:

If you call 911 and tell them you are suicidal, they will come and transport you.

Once you admit yourself you're admitted and you're under their care. If you feel that you're better and you want to leave before they tell you to you can make an appointment with your assigned psychiatrist and talk to them about it. They'll then tell you whether they'll let you leave or not. Yeah, if you don't want your family involved and since you're over 18 they can't force it on you. You have the right to refuse them. I don't suggest it though, you need some kind of support, at least get friends to visit you.

Max000
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11 Aug 2012, 9:17 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

thewhitrbbit wrote:

If you call 911 and tell them you are suicidal, they will come and transport you.

And chances are that would cost me?

Who cares? Is your life worth it?

Just call 911 or ask someone you know to do it for you.

Sweetleaf
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12 Aug 2012, 10:17 pm

Max000 wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

thewhitrbbit wrote:

If you call 911 and tell them you are suicidal, they will come and transport you.

And chances are that would cost me?

Who cares? Is your life worth it?

Just call 911 or ask someone you know to do it for you.

I don't really know, I guess most people would say it is.....I guess if it comes down to it I should do that though, but yeah at the moment I am just trying not to give in and I've been trying to make sure not to isolate myself too much which helps some luckily there are some people close to me like my one close friend, my brother and some other people so that helps a little with fighting the thoughts or finding alternatives to acting on them.

Its just that feeling of simply not being able to cope with the stress and pain that really frustrates me...and I guess I've been having a rather difficult time with some of the more unusual PTSD symptoms and I guess I hate having to admit that I am so f***d in the head I have to apply for SSI since I'd probably make things worse for anyone who hires me.

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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 12 Aug 2012, 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Max000
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12 Aug 2012, 10:42 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Max000 wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

thewhitrbbit wrote:

If you call 911 and tell them you are suicidal, they will come and transport you.

And chances are that would cost me?

Who cares? Is your life worth it?

Just call 911 or ask someone you know to do it for you.

I don't really know, I guess most people would say it is.....but yeah if I get to being on the verge of it I will, otherwise I guess I cannot convince myself its worth if if there is a good chance I am not in immediate danger of acting on anything. I'll still try getting on SSI and yeah if it gets to the point where i am on the verge of suicide and in immediate danger of acting on it I guess I should call 911 but I guess I am too stubborn to do anything like that just yet.

Dude, you need to get some help. Have you or are you currently seeking any mental health services? If it's an emergency (i.e., feeling suicidal) call 911. They have to help you regardless of your ability to pay. Otherwise call your county mental health services, and see what they can do. If you can't make the call yourself, then have someone do it for you.

You will need to have a mental health history, before you can apply for SSI. Once you get into the system, they can probably help you apply for SSI.

Sweetleaf
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12 Aug 2012, 10:51 pm

....

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DiscardedWhisper
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13 Aug 2012, 4:03 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

....

My sentiments, exactly...

:wall:

Sweetleaf
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13 Aug 2012, 11:21 am

Wow that was a little extreme, and I really cannot say why exactly I deleted my entire OP and my last post in this thread. Anyways sorry about that I just really don't even know how I feel. I mean when I posted it I was feeling completely overwhelmed. But that sort of turned into numb apathy I guess instead of going insane I just got burnt out from all that intense stress again. I also feel rather detached and it's a bit weird anyways the semi good news is I have some appointment thing tommorrow I think to get a regular doctor and then from there I can find out about mental health resources that are covered by the same lower medical cost program(sorry I don't know what to call it, its not insurance but I got a card thing and they have specific clinic places or whatever which cost less than it would otherwise). Of course I feel kind of embarrassed about having to have my mom call but I suppose I can deal with that.

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YellowBanana
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13 Aug 2012, 12:34 pm

Hi Sweetleaf

Glad you posted again - was a little worried when you deleted those posts. Well done on getting your mom to call for you ... that can't have been easy. No need to be embarrassed about the fact that she called for you, it is better than not calling at all. I hope the appointment goes well.

Keep us updated.

YB

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Sweetleaf
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13 Aug 2012, 1:07 pm

YellowBanana wrote:

Well it cant really not go well...but yeah I am not entirely sure it will help much with the psychological crap, since its just for general medical treatment but hopefully the regular doctor can refer me to a psychiatrist or psychologist or something to get the other things addressed. But yeah I've explained in other threads some of the issues between me and my mom, so Its not necessarily a good thing to have to depend on her for anything. but yeah I suppose I will.

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lostgirl1986
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14 Aug 2012, 4:45 pm

The doctor will definitely have resources for you. Good Luck!

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