Page 2 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

YellowBanana
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,032
Location: mostly, in my head.

19 Sep 2012, 5:44 pm

DiscardedWhisper wrote:
Also when I start cooking you can rest assured the rest of my family will want to know why I'm not cooking for everyone in the house..


So cook for everyone in the house...


_________________
Female. Dx ASD in 2011 @ Age 38. Also Dx BPD


DiscardedWhisper
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 371

19 Sep 2012, 5:53 pm

YellowBanana wrote:
DiscardedWhisper wrote:
Also when I start cooking you can rest assured the rest of my family will want to know why I'm not cooking for everyone in the house..


So cook for everyone in the house...


I don't want to, they're mean to me.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

19 Sep 2012, 5:55 pm

DiscardedWhisper wrote:
So it seems that most of you think I'm a jerk for questioning my mother's cooking methods.

All I can say in my defense is that my mother is no saint and that I'm allotted absolutely no input in any of the household affairs. Also when I start cooking you can rest assured the rest of my family will want to know why I'm not cooking for everyone in the house.

And I really do wish I could leave and go elsewhere, but I have no place to go and sleeping on a park bench doesn't seem like an attractive alternative. (Note that my mother disagrees. She thinks it would be an excellent alternative, for her and her myriad of cats and dogs.)


I don't see where anybody said you were a jerk. I simply said that it's considered rude to complain about the food that someone else cooks for you unless you buy the food or unless they offer to cook the meal especially for you and know how you want it cooked. I my adult child complained about how I cook something, especialy fairly often, I would consider him to be pretty demanding and tell him to fend for himself then.

Why not simply follow the instructions and cook it the way you like it?


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


DiscardedWhisper
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 371

19 Sep 2012, 6:10 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
I don't see where anybody said you were a jerk. I simply said that it's considered rude to complain about the food that someone else cooks for you unless you buy the food or unless they offer to cook the meal especially for you and know how you want it cooked. I my adult child complained about how I cook something, especialy fairly often, I would consider him to be pretty demanding and tell him to fend for himself then.

Why not simply follow the instructions and cook it the way you like it?


You know it's occurred to me that I wanted French Toast that morning. My mother didn't want that. That's beside the point, I guess.

I suppose the simplest answer to your question is that I don't like to cook. I'm not a very patient person, many of the aspects of cooking perplex me and I feel extremely out of my element in a kitchen. This relegates me to things that can generally be prepared on the fly. Like pasta, cold sandwiches, salads, soups and other things of that nature. I like that kind of stuff. so it generally works out.

But my mother doesn't give me any input in the grocery shopping or the cooking schedules (if you can call it that) and when she makes me something it's hardly done out of the goodness of her heart. More of a sentiment of "eat this and shut up".

I live with three family members, they all hate me and the feeling is pretty mutual.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

19 Sep 2012, 6:40 pm

I don't really like to cook either, but my family and I both like to eat. Somebody has to do it and I'm the best one at it, plus I'm the mom and a housewife so it's sort of my job.

If you don't like to cook but don't like the way someone else cooks a certain dish, then either learn to tolerate the dish the way it's served (not the best option in my opinion) learn to cook it yourself, or make something that you can already make instead.

Is it everthing your mother cooks, or just the eggs that you don't like? If it's just the eggs or even one or two other dishes, I wouldn't worry about it and just find something else those meals. I can't cook to please everbody every night, so on the nights that one kid doesn't like what we are having, they have the responsibility to find something else to eat or eat what is served. try to accomodate everybody at some point throughout the week and I rarely serve something two days in a row that a person doesn't like, but I can't please everybody every time.

Maybe if you request a certain meal that you do like, and compliment your mother on it, and mention when she's cooked something you especially like, she will be more willing to try and please you. I know that when all I hear are complaints I could really care less about making an extra effort to please somebody that seems to be ungrateful at the moment.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


DiscardedWhisper
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 371

19 Sep 2012, 7:15 pm

My mother tends to make food that is bland and flavorless. For the most part, I don't really mind this too much as it's nothing black pepper and a dash of Tabasco can't fix. (Funny, I never used to like Tabasco.) The major sticking point is really just the eggs.

Her eggs are really, really nasty. Like Slimer from the Ghostbusters nasty. Like I wouldn't be bringing this up if they didn't make me wanna hork.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

20 Sep 2012, 3:53 am

DiscardedWhisper wrote:
My mother tends to make food that is bland and flavorless. For the most part, I don't really mind this too much as it's nothing black pepper and a dash of Tabasco can't fix. (Funny, I never used to like Tabasco.) The major sticking point is really just the eggs.

Her eggs are really, really nasty. Like Slimer from the Ghostbusters nasty. Like I wouldn't be bringing this up if they didn't make me wanna hork.


My grandfather ate pig brains and scrambled eggs almost every morning. I did not eat them but they were put on his plate at the breakfast table. I got up and went in the other room when that happened.

If you don't like the eggs don't eat them. Have cereal or toast or make your own eggs. Other people there either like them or it doesn't bother them that much. Some people do like their eggs runnier than others. My kids like their eggs fried with the yolk runny. I'd never eat mine like that, but when we cook eggs here, everybody gets theirs how they want them.

I would say that your problem can be solved by eating cereal on the mornings that your mom makes eggs. Also, by realizing that she is not obligated to cook you eggs nor to cook them how you want them. She cooks for you as a favor, not as a responsibility like when you were a child. Unless she cooks scrambled eggs and only scrambled eggs at each and every meal, it shouldn't be a problem to simply skip the eggs on the days she makes them. She is not obligated in any way, shape or form to change how she cooks scrambled eggs, especially if you are in her house eating her food.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


DiscardedWhisper
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 371

20 Sep 2012, 6:47 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
My grandfather ate pig brains and scrambled eggs almost every morning. I did not eat them but they were put on his plate at the breakfast table. I got up and went in the other room when that happened.

If you don't like the eggs don't eat them. Have cereal or toast or make your own eggs. Other people there either like them or it doesn't bother them that much. Some people do like their eggs runnier than others. My kids like their eggs fried with the yolk runny. I'd never eat mine like that, but when we cook eggs here, everybody gets theirs how they want them.

I would say that your problem can be solved by eating cereal on the mornings that your mom makes eggs. Also, by realizing that she is not obligated to cook you eggs nor to cook them how you want them. She cooks for you as a favor, not as a responsibility like when you were a child. Unless she cooks scrambled eggs and only scrambled eggs at each and every meal, it shouldn't be a problem to simply skip the eggs on the days she makes them. She is not obligated in any way, shape or form to change how she cooks scrambled eggs, especially if you are in her house eating her food.


I don't want to be under her roof or eating her food and I certainly don't want any favors from her. I'm only living here out of necessity and I hate every minute of it. I don't want to talk about this anymore.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

20 Sep 2012, 7:04 am

DiscardedWhisper wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
My grandfather ate pig brains and scrambled eggs almost every morning. I did not eat them but they were put on his plate at the breakfast table. I got up and went in the other room when that happened.

If you don't like the eggs don't eat them. Have cereal or toast or make your own eggs. Other people there either like them or it doesn't bother them that much. Some people do like their eggs runnier than others. My kids like their eggs fried with the yolk runny. I'd never eat mine like that, but when we cook eggs here, everybody gets theirs how they want them.

I would say that your problem can be solved by eating cereal on the mornings that your mom makes eggs. Also, by realizing that she is not obligated to cook you eggs nor to cook them how you want them. She cooks for you as a favor, not as a responsibility like when you were a child. Unless she cooks scrambled eggs and only scrambled eggs at each and every meal, it shouldn't be a problem to simply skip the eggs on the days she makes them. She is not obligated in any way, shape or form to change how she cooks scrambled eggs, especially if you are in her house eating her food.


I don't want to be under her roof or eating her food and I certainly don't want any favors from her. I'm only living here out of necessity and I hate every minute of it. I don't want to talk about this anymore.


You brought it up. I understand completely that you don't want to be there and you don't want to be dependent on them for anything. It can really suck to be in that situation. I'm just saying that while you are dependent on anyone, you can't really afford to bite the hand that feeds you. Just keep doing what you can to get on your feet and get out of there. Thats the only thing that solves those kind of problems. Maybe brainstorm with some friends to find a way to move out, or maybe one or two of them might want to go in on renting a place together with you?

I'm not trying to be mean at all. Please know that. I think I need to say something though about you not wanting to talk about it anymore. When you ask for opinions, and you don't get the ones you want to hear, that could mean that the people aren't understanding the situation or that you might need to rethink your position on it. Most of us are saying that 1) eggs aren't a big deal, and 2) you are an adult living with your parents and therefore shouldn't be picky about what they do for you. I really don't think it's the actual eggs that are the problem though.

My opinion is that the eggs represent something else, a lack of control about even the small things in your life right now, and a lack of your parents respecting your opinion and preferences enough to make a small effort for you. That would tick anybody off, for real. If you have a therapist, maybe you should bring that up to him and ask what he thinks about it, and how to solve it. Maybe even talking to your parents about that very topic would help. Letting them know that you may feel powerless and insignifigant sometimes could really go a long way towards getting them to make some considerations for you. You also have to remember that you will have to compromise too and deal with some things gracefully that you don't want to deal with.

Again, I'm not being mean, it's just that I really think it's more than the actual eggs that are the problem.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com