My acquaintance, a Nice Guy™ *TW Rape

Post Reply New Topic

This is what I don't understand: Don't all of those fools promoting rape culture realize that they victimize themselves in the process? Do those fool men have no idea the repercussions they themselves face by facilitating things such as this horrific assault?

It kind of sucks having to deal with the fact that women are afraid to go anywhere alone with men, even ones they think they SHOULD be able to trust given most rapes are committed by people you know. I wanted to take a girl out to a wildlife reserve with a great trail, however it's a bit out of the way. She said no, and asked to do something else instead...said she didn't really care that much for walking trails. I asked her to go to a large garden/glorified park in the middle of the town where there's lots of people around. She had no issues with that and accepted immediately...despite the fact that it's also essentially a large trail.

I know exactly why she accepted the second time, and feels violating that she would even THINK I would do something like that. Really, all of this s**t has to stop.

It's also insulting to males as in it paints them all as the "Me want female, me must have Ug Ug!" unintelligent morons who are only controlled by their urges and not by any sort of intelligent thought. Most men I know aren't like that.

It's a catch 22 where you can't win no matter what you do. Protect yourself and you get told you are too paranoid, don't protect yourself (or even if you do) you get told it was your own fault and you should have done something more to protect yourself.

^^ I should mention, the manner in which she declined seemed particularly uncomfortable. I hardly blame her, but that doesn't make me feel any less squicky.

Seems pretty black and white to me.

If you say no to sex, and it happens anyway, its rape and is a crime. The victim is not to blame, male or female.
Tbh if someone did something to my daughter / partner / female friends and they were still walking the streets a week later, id cut off their balls.

meems, your story made me cry. sorry, i know that isn't helpful. i can't really reassure you about the case because i don't have confidence in the justice system, but hopefully he will at least get a record and serve some time. i am glad you are following through and that you are not backing down. it's very brave of you to go ahead with this, knowing fully how difficult it is going to be.

if any part of this goes well, think of this as being a case that can be used a benchmark for future trials. every case is a little different, so maybe someday yours will be the one that is used as a precedent to help other people down the line. it will also establish the perpetrator's record. and with every victim that comes forward, it is that much easier for future victims. that way, it isn't just about you, as painful as it is going to get; eventually you'll be helping people in hard circumstances down the line.

(((((hugs)))))

Sounds like a real life horror movie. Sorry to hear what you went through. And good luck with the case.