Subtle and Blatant Misogyny

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I wouldn't call it "flawed logic on your part". I would call it being less of a coward than the people who post those things anonymously. The Internet has a cowardly side to it, and you just admitted you were not a part of that. That's not "flawed logic" - that's commendable.

I've seen just as much misandry as I have misogyny here. Both sides are guilty.

That's the problem I have with a lot of misogynistic posts, they assume the situation is us vs. them, which simply isn't the case. There aren't sides. We're all one big group of members on an autism forum, not soldiers on a battlefield.

I've also noticed this is a WP specific problem.

Any NT forums I visit like this? Nope.

What about forums for other co-morbid type disorders such as social anxiety (who experience the exact same dating issues etc)? Nope.

What about dating site forums? Nope.

It's just here.

O, I dream of the days when misanthropy becomes the norm.

It'd be glorious.

I think the above bit out of place given the opening post.

Dont derail the thread - start your own if you want to make a point

How so? It's a joke. :/

I hope you're not saying that my post was misogynistic at all. But it can't be ignored that both sides have this problem, and people need to figure out what to do to have it corrected. I agree there's a lot of misogynistic posts, but it always seems to come with some kind of hate for men as well from certain lady members. Where one side leads, the other will follow, I've noticed. Somebody makes a misogynistic post, it's countered with a misandric post, and vice versa. The question is, how the hell do we get out of this loop?

Nooooooo!

When everyone hates everyone else, balance will be returned to the force.

Now, it's some boys hate some girls and some girls hate some boys; some people have no clue what's going on (me), others try to help (futile), and others..., well, they're outside doing stuff. No balance. I don't see everyone ever loving each other..., so hate!

Sorry to say this is not just a online or aspie thing either.. I've been gulty of it to greater or lesser extents.. but I've seen some of my friends go from being really really pleasent' to women.. to slowly just getting more and more bitter and angry.. and At least in so far as my expeirence goes.. it's basically cause you get a string of.. rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection.. then you try the back door friend gambit.. and that backfires spectacularly.. meanwhile you're 17.. 20... 22... 23... 30.. and you've still not had more than a handful of dates or possibly never even held hands let alone had sex.. and all the guys who were mean to you in highschool or were constantly wanting to copy your math homework in college are getting loads of women..

It's more than a little understandable that these guys would be angry.. It's not women's fault... and it's not their attitudes that's the problem.. it's society that's the problem for both halves. and I'm sure there are probably a lot of really GREAT women out there who have this exact same problem because they don't fit what society deems "Ideal".


I mean.. I certainly get angry when I get rejected.. because for me.. I'm 1) nerdy as hell, 2) live in a very small town, and 3) live in a part of the country with some amazingly high rates of poor dental hygine and obesity... all serving to narrow down my potential dating pool. I went to school with 1300 other kids.. there was ONE girl at the school who could be considered "Nerdy".. ONE. But there were 20-30 "Nerdy" guys.. who all had the hots for her... But who did she hang out with? The Druggy Heavy-Metal guys who wore leather jackets even when it was 95F outside.

Not excusing it.. but People's attitudes are not made in a vaccume.. their experiences shape their attitudes.. I'm negative in my dealings with the world.. becuase nothing ever goes right for me.. so why should I be positive about anything? At least if I'm negative about it, when it goes wrong, I don't get disapointed as badly... Same thing.. if guys get it into their heads that women are to blame.. well then when they get shot down again and again.. it's just those stupid women's faults for not seeing what a great guy I am.. it's not Evo-Psych either.. It's societal.. And it's prevelant to a greater or lesser extent in nearly every culture on earth.

I've been to boards where there was blatant misogyny but it was discouraged etc. and it was never a lot of members, it was never so frequent as it is here. And it's like they support each other and enable each other here even if they aren't saying something blatantly sexist, they'll defend the person(s) saying things that are sexist, which tells me they hesitate to say these things but they are thinking along the same lines. It's already kind of happening in this thread.

When you come into this thread, where I'm talking about the rampant sexist s**t some guys say here, and you say "But it's also women's fault and they do it too..." or whatever, you're shifting blame no matter how you frame it, maybe just trying to invalidate my wanting to have a discourse with this. I'm talking about misogyny, and you counter with "Well don't forget about the misandry" You weren't saying something blatantly sexist, but rather than offering any kind of support, you told me not to forget it's not to be entirely blamed on the misogynistic individuals, and to remember to place some blame on female members.

Each individual poster is responsible for their own posts, I'm not looking to find people to blame, or have a debate about who you or anyone else thinks is to blame for the motivation behind misogynistic comments and threads. I don't care who a guy blames for his sh***y attitude toward women, I just wanted to talk about how overwhelming and frustrating it is to see it so frequently, with no one saying a goddamn word about it.

Honestly, I don't care who anyone thinks is at fault or to blame for men acting a specific way and saying hateful things about women, I really don't have any sympathy when it comes out as hateful comments or generalizations or just a really bad attitude toward the female gender, slowly revealed over the course of posting on the forum.

This thread is not about whether or not girls f**k certain guys, I think that attitude is sick, there is nothing understandable about being angry because of not getting sex or a relationship from a woman. No one is entitled to the body of another, and experiences have some influence in shaping attitudes but we are not such base creatures that we can not override hateful attitudes and choose not to say and do hateful things. People can choose their behavior for the most part, even if their feelings don't match up. It's their decision, especially when having the time to type things out and re-read them and consider whether or not it's hateful or problematic before they post it.

This argument defending this entitled attitude in men is a frequent one on the forum, in L&D and whatever, it's just such a horrible thing to see guys excusing feeling like a woman owes her body because of whatever, it's sick. I can understand being sexually frustrated, but blaming it on the people who won't screw you or viewing their romantic choices as being with guys who are in some way inferior and less deserving than you, that's also another misogynistic attitude. Girls aren't walking around looking for some guy based on his being inferior to another choice, no one is walking around trying to find a partner based on how sh***y they'll be compared to the other options. No one does that except people who pine for someone who rejects them, dwells on the past and feels sorry for himself, still wishing for that girl or some girl that isn't compatible with them.

Lots of relationships fall apart quickly, lots of guys turn out to be psychos, lots of guys cheat or are horrible in some way but it's definitely not why a woman dates a guy, hoping he'll just f**k her life up, and it's ALSO never confirmation that she should've chosen a guy she had no attraction to, because that's actually worse than getting into a relationship with a guy who ends up being an a**hole.

I'm so disgusted at how frequently men here discuss women as if they owe them a chance at screwing her.

And again, I am so sick of not even being able to post that something is sexist or misogynistic without dudes being defensive of the people who are saying sexist s**t, it's like saying "Don't blame bigots for racism, it's just how society is. Don't worry, I'm not saying it should be blamed on ethnic minorities, just that they should be more understanding of racism and why it happens and how the bigots aren't at fault"

This is it in a nutshell.

The sex drive is one of the strongest in humans. If you are so socially crippled that you cannot form a relationship/sexual relationship, that failure will manifest in a negative way for most people...

I think it is just "part of it" for many male aspies.

As far as the larger topic goes. I think everyone should be/feel free to say, "Hey, what you just said is jacked-up, and here's why..."

The thing is, after you say your piece, YOU NEED TO LET IT GO.

This is the interwebs--as another poster already observed, this is where most folks let their inner a**hole run free...

99% of the time you are not going to win a debate or convince someone that their opinion is wrong...

That's just how it is. Unless you thrive on pointless conflict, the best thing to do is learn to be tolerant of, and ignore odious opinions...

This attitude seems pervasive on L&D and it bothers me too. Sometimes I'm not sure if the posters are even aware that women are human beings.

incorrect procedure.

correct procedure: report it to a moderator.