Apathy, desperation, and writing

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13 Feb 2013, 3:02 am

Thank you for that, you're very sweet. I've dealt with similar issues over the years, and know how challenging it can be. You ended your original post on a very foreboding note, which is why I mentioned it.

Yuugiri
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13 Feb 2013, 3:04 am

Zodai wrote:

Just for clarification; what does this entail?

It's just that the phrase given seems like it might be misleading, given the previous discussion.

Misleading how? I tend to prefer girls, mainly due to my irrational fear of men. If I really like the male in question, then I can overlook that. Otherwise, I feel more comfortable around females.

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13 Feb 2013, 3:05 am

MjrMajorMajor wrote:

Oh, re-reading it now, I see how you could get that impression. For the most part, it's just easier to make characters likable than to change yourself to be more likable. That was the intent of the message.

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Zodai
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13 Feb 2013, 3:13 am

Yuugiri wrote:

Zodai wrote:

Just for clarification; what does this entail?

It's just that the phrase given seems like it might be misleading, given the previous discussion.

Misleading how? I tend to prefer girls, mainly due to my irrational fear of men. If I really like the male in question, then I can overlook that. Otherwise, I feel more comfortable around females.

While I was trying to avoid saying it out loud due to the fact that it might be offensive, I'm saying that the quote in question may entail your "sexual preferences", as that seems to be what you are implying.

Like I said, I am not trying to be offensive if I am incorrect.

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13 Feb 2013, 3:19 am

You can't change yourself to be more likeable and find happiness. All you can be is authentic, and find who is there. Otherwise you're chasing a rainbow for a pot of fool's gold in the end.
'

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13 Feb 2013, 3:25 am

Zodai wrote:

Ah, no, it's fine. Asking about someone's sexual orientation shouldn't be considered offensive in my book.

I'm functionally bisexual, but as I stated before, I prefer females, simply because I am intimidated by/afraid of men.

MjrMajorMajor wrote:

You can't change yourself to be more likeable and find happiness. All you can be is authentic, and find who is there. Otherwise you're chasing a rainbow for a pot of fool's gold in the end.
'

I agree with you, which is why it's easier to immerse myself in worlds occupied by people far more likable than I. It's probably not a very healthy method of escapism, but it's what I've been doing for years.

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13 Feb 2013, 3:26 am

Ah, ok. There are probably some people who would be offended by that, so I just wanted to be on the safe side.

Maybe you're just lacking some self-esteem? Focusing too much on the bad parts?

http://www.writersofthefuture.com/

If you want to write a book, there are some contests you could enter. Maybe doing decently well here would boost it up (Just don't set your goals TOO high; with a contest as popular as this, first place is unlikely for a lot of people.)

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13 Feb 2013, 3:45 am

Zodai wrote:

I'm definitely lacking in self-esteem, but I don't think it's really a critical issue. It used to be, but I'm starting to care less and less about hating myself as time goes on.

Interesting link, but I'm gunning more for video game writer myself. I'm horrible with descriptive exposition. Much better with dialogue. orz

I'm not so much worried about the future in terms of my career or anything like that (though I probably should be). I just don't want to be alone. I want to have a good friend like her, or maybe a love interest, idk. As I said before, though, coming across people like that is a rare event, and I don't really know how to reconcile with it.

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14 Feb 2013, 2:05 pm

Well, if you're looking to fall in love with someone - there are plenty likeminded individuals on this site, correct? ;P

Just don't get depressed XD.

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14 Feb 2013, 3:09 pm

Zodai wrote:

Well, if you're looking to fall in love with someone - there are plenty likeminded individuals on this site, correct? ;P

Just don't get depressed XD.

I guess, yeah. That's not really my main goal, though. I just want to find somebody like her again. She was proof that what I said and liked was worthwhile, at least some of the time.

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14 Feb 2013, 3:48 pm

Yuugiri wrote:

I'm a bit confused though. I do happen to think I am a bad person, but I don't think I expressed that in this particular post. Mainly, people don't care about the things I care about the same way I don't care about the things they care about. It's a rare event finding a kindred spirit (at least for me).

Not sure if I have this right, but: you feel that you're a bad person for not caring about the things others care about over the things you care about?

If I got it right... then I'm confused: why are you a bad person for this?

Not having the same interests and hobbies someone else, and feeling ungrateful or bitter that someone else is happy in their interests and hobbies, these are two different things. I don't imagine the latter is happening, and there's nothing wrong with the former.

Yuugiri wrote:

I guess, yeah. That's not really my main goal, though. I just want to find somebody like her again. She was proof that what I said and liked was worthwhile, at least some of the time.

Pardon for being abrasive here, but: NOPE.

It's fascinating for you to examine fictional characters at length. It fulfills you. It drives you. It makes you happy, makes you sad, makes you cry, makes you frustrated, makes you exult.

Those are the proof that the things you like are worthwhile. To yourself. You don't owe it to anyone specifically to be someone else's definition of worthwhile to anyone else. No one does.

Meanwhile, it is cool of your friend to be there to listen when you want to explore these things with her. But I suppose that you're not doing these things just so she'll be there.

-end-of-speech-

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14 Feb 2013, 5:33 pm

AngelKnight wrote:

No, that's not why, lol. I think I'm a bad person for different reasons. My main focus in this post is on having no friends (and the obstacles that making friends presents).

AngelKnight wrote:

Haha, thanks. You know, maybe I should keep socialization away from my special interests... I really like to socialize as long as I care about the subject at hand, but it doesn't seem to be working the way I want.

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14 Feb 2013, 9:25 pm

Sweet Pea hugs

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17 Feb 2013, 12:28 am

Yuugiri wrote:

I guess, I could always just lose myself in my characters instead. They tend to be better people than I.

I irony is that characters, particularly those of our own creation but even those that we interpret from other authors, contain many subconscious elements of ourselves in them. You are no worse than your characters, and your characters do not sound so bad if you would be willing to lose yourself in them.

For meeting new friends, I'm probably not the greatest of advisers as I have also had very limited success, but I can wholeheartedly suggest to keep hacking away. Friendship is really a numbers game. The more people you come into contact with (even limited contact), and the more you present who you are to the world, the more people will see you, and the more likely someone will see you and wish to befriend you. Any and all friends or potential friends I have found over the years came to me when I least expected it, and all because I presented myself as I really am to the world. The success rate is still low, but those that had stuck over the years were worth the wait.

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