Love yourself to make others love you?

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Not so much of a feeling as a learned truism.


No; I don't think so. It's still the bullies' fault.


I know; it sucks.


Dogs need unconditionally; don't mistake this for love. They are adept at getting a response from you. A dog who you have kicked doesn't love you even though it acts like it.

Well if one does not kick their dog and treats it well, the dog certainly will love them.....of course a mistreated dog isn't going to love the person mistreating it. Actually my friend once took someones dog because the person was basically abusing the dog and so the dog jumped in my friends car....guy called the cops to say my friend was taking his dog so the cop shows up and said 'well, looks like it's his dog not yours' to the owner since the dog wanted to go with my friend.

Yes, of course. Dogs don´t like their abusive owners. I would say their love is not really unconditional, but conditional to how you behave to them -and they feel the affection of the owner, I know they do. What I wanted to say was their conditions for love are the right ones, unlike people´s conditions.

Nice! The dog should get to choose.


People have a survival instinct. That's why when someone is depressed they often become more isolated (because people respond to their negative vibes.)
I don't think love is unconditional. I wouldn't let someone drag me down with them even if I loved them. And I wouldn't want to drag anyone down with me.

Well since dogs have been brought up I may as well mention cats. I can't figure out is if cats actually love their people or if they just love being loved, maybe both.

I have two cats and they seem to love me when they are hungry, when not, not much.

I always heard that saying in a slightly different way: "you must love yourself first before you can give love to someone else."

I'm not sure if that's much better, or true...just putting in my $0.02.

People I have tole this deny it, are totally ignorant on the subject and some become angry.. Good to see a pyramid for it.

OP I have witnessed people that loath themselves find someone that loves them or is infatuated with them and doing all they can to be with them... I have seen some VERY lazy and irresponsible people get break after break spouse after spouse while putting their children on the back burner all of this on top of their low self esteem and low levels of self respect... I have also seen people that truly liked and loved themselves get torn down from rejection, ridicule...being outcasted...social "failure" I am one of those people.

This.

You're very wise, Ichinin.

There is no making anyone love anyone. But if someone loves you, it is true that it makes it hard for them if you don't accept yourself. I mean when I love someone and they hate themselves, even my friends, I feel like... I value them so much and they can't even see how beautiful and wonderful and amazing they are and it is almost painful.

I think that's where that saying comes from... if you don't love you, how is anyone else ever going to get the chance to... I guess.

If people look at you and want nothing to do with you because of your looks and they never find out what kind of a person you really are-you can be the most lovable and loving person but if they cant get past appearances how will they ever find that out about you-they will avoid you and reject you no matter how much you may be comfortable and love yourself-you can dress nice and carry yourself with confidence or not and still be avoided -I have been hurt in that way and it makes it difficult to find friends and any kind of relationship out there. Then there are those that do not like you for many different reasons like cultural differences or education level or because of your occupation-how do you work against that sort of thing-we do what we do for a living-if we like what we do why should anyone have to change.People say "well if they do not like you then they are not worth knowing" but what if you really like the other person-it is all very complex.

^ agree with this.
The Maslow pyramid is good to read again, thanks, Sweetleaf. I like the clear, logical reminder of what's missing in my life. I have always tried to leap to the top of the pyramid while having the other levels missing huge chunks. Guess I just will try to continue my creativity, despite not making any real life sense.

Seconded. I know exactly what that feels like...sadly enough.