Self harming

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I've never really explored cutting before. So you get a real outsiders look. This is what I think/guess.

You have really overpowering emotional attacks. By attacks I mean these surges of emotion, usually negative pointing, that feel like too much.

Just ordinary thinking thru the problems is not helping. The cutting, including the physical pain is something strong enough to release the tension.

The cuts and scars are a way of communicating your inner pain to the world.


So. You have a long life ahead of you where much can turn around and be satisfying and maybe beautiful. Its worth it to work thru your problems.

Cutting when done in a way that does not seriously harm you (death, infection, illness) is not the absolute worst way to handle it. Its better than suicide. It may leave scars.

The next reasonable step seems to be in two possible directions. 1) Find a less harmful/risky alternate response to overwhelming emotions. 2) Reduce your exposure to the things that seem to bring on these emotional attacks. If they are purely harmful eliminate them, if they are just normal life conflicts just reduce it. For example if a parent was abusing you, get away from them totally. If a parent is upsetting you, lesson contact but don't cut them out completely. It may be a mutual issue both parties must work thru.

I have cut myself before but I most hit myself when having meltdowns it used to be worse when I was young but I have gotten better about

Last edited by chris5000 on 12 Jul 2013, 9:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mine was always hitting myself. Either. a bone with a metal bar, or my head against a wall. cutting occurred for me during one phase in my life when I went through a series of rejections from women that I thought I had really connected with. I had read an old book that contained info on obscure native American practices and read one where braves would allegedly have to cut a scar into their chests each time a squaw rejected them. once the fifth rejection was experienced, the brave had to either leave the tribe or take some type of celibacy vow. I became obsessed with this story, and the feeling of redemption that the self punishment provided me. I was on my 4th rejection (scar) when I met the woman who would later be the mother to my children, and who helped me realize the danger of what I was doing, without condemning me or ridiculing me. The scars eventually faded. because I didn't want her to think I was totally insane, I managed to keep the self hitting secret and eventually stopped that also. I still failed as a husband and father, but I managed to learn a few things.

I kinda chickened out when people asked me what happened to my arm
I lied and said it was the cat
I can't stop feeling my scars and scabs with my fingers
I also look at my arm and think "there should be a cut here, and here, and here too."

When I was a teenager I used to love a band called the Manic Street Preachers (Totally different band these days!), and once when their guitarist was accused in an interview of being fake, he took a razor blade and carved '4 Real' into his arm. I thought this was the coolest thing ever and promptly started cutting myself. I found that inflicting physical pain was the perfect way to channel the mental pain that I felt on a daily basis. Most of this pain was due to the constant beatings I took from my father for the most trivial of reasons.

I few days ago I was in Blackpool on the beach with my top off and I could see people staring at my scars. I began to feel so uncomfortable that I put my top back on and moved to a different part of the beach. There was a point in time when I couldn't care less, but as you get older your view of the world changes dramatically. My point is, the scars will never go away.

In the years ahead your parents and especially your brother will only be as much of a part of your life as you choose for them to be and even though that might seem like an eternity away, the time will come. I can't tell you not to cut yourself because I know how much it helps, but your situation will change, the scars unfortunately will remain. If you have to cut, think it through and if it's still the only option, try to cut somewhere indiscreet, I wish to god that I cut my thighs rather than my arms.

I hope things work out for you soon.

^ Just popping into say hello to someone who liked the Manics as a teen, as well.

Never was a cutter. Didn't start self-harming until I was in my 20s, actually. Used to get very drunk as a form of self harm when I was a teen. Didn't copy that off anyone, though - it was the one thing lying around my house that would make me feel different from the usual grind of depression. That had obviously bad effects on me in terms of academic performance and making my depression worse at the time. I wish I hadn't worried my family so much, as well.

Self-harm is a way of trying to deal with crap you can't deal with at the time, but you will be stronger later on in life.

am also a cutter,and have done it entire life in different ways,but in twenties had been moved to another residential home where had noticed a fellow resident going through the whole process; using a kitchen knife to do it,until that point had never understood the concept of using a knife for harming,as to self those were kitchen tools; guess that was a part of the autism and intelectual disability.
mine is due to having always lacked coping skills due to the intelectual disability,and the fact am not able to feel any level of pain bar very deep head or stomach aches and cutting had been a sensory seeking habit,seeing the blood poor out was a sensory interest to.

have been on all sorts of epileptic meds since a toddler which have helped both the epilepsy and autism to a degree but recently was been started on respiridone; an anti pyschotic for autism behavior, an unknown 'side effect' has been to remove cutting completely,theres no urge,no interest in it have had no replacement coping skill either.

one of the things that had been slightly helping with the cutting before started taking respiridone was massage on the area of the scarring, for example;mine has only ever been on the left arm,hand and leg since a toddler.
have used a prescribed excema cream of mine called cetraben that shoud be pretty easy to get hold of-theres no steroids in it, but it hydrates the skin and helps the healing process of the scars,its worked great using it as massage cream on mine. theres an over the counter one which works great as well; sudocrem, its widely known for nappy rash but its bloody good stuff for dry skin and mild/moderate excema because of how it hydrates well,it just isnt as watery so needs more use on the scars.

another thing a staff of mine tried to force em to wear,though took them off as hated the tactileness and the fact they were fake- tattoo sleeves,amazingly had found them in a equestrian/tack shop of all places.
theyre not bad for people who actualy do care how they look to others.

Last edited by KingdomOfRats on 18 Jul 2013, 7:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

puddingmouse, love your new avatar!

As far as cutting/self harm... It feels different to cut the legs than the arms. The 'release' feels different. But I do agree, if you can avoid cutting your arms, that would be great. I don't really care so much, but I get awkward questions every now and again about my arms. Last summer at work, one of 'my guys' at the office asked what happened to my arms, when I said I cut them, he just went quiet.

Another thing, scars do fade with time. They never go away completely, but they fade.

if anyone says anything bad about it just say to them they have got no room to be judgemental,if they smoke,drink alcohol,take drugs etc they are all forms of self harm and are very often coping skills to cope with work,life,whatever so....jog on.

have never understood those who are absolutely rotten to cutters whilst huffing away on a spliff or a fag,or necking alcohol, or taking pills of some sort,its all self harm and a way at coping with life,people need to stop being so damn snobby and ignorant.

Hello fellow Manics as a teen fan!

I do hate the fact now that I copied the idea from someone, but like I say, the world is such a different place when you're a teenager. You're just so susceptible to outside influence, desperate to find something that fits with the ideal of who you are trying to be. I guess I was trying to forge my own identity as well as deal with the multitude of issues I had at the time and cutting helped me do that. Your vice was alcohol, which I can always take or leave. My parents were heavy drinkers (my mother still is!), so it has always been an act of rebellion not to drink like them, otherwise I would probably taken the same route.

Actually this guy wasn't judgemental, just shocked I think.

I guess when I do it I feel relieved.
And yea it's a bit of an escape from all the problems I have to deal with, family and other things
I stare at my arm for hours sometimes
My arm is covered in red lines
I keep forgetting when I'm in public and wonder why people stare at me so much
Then I catch a glimpse of my arm and think "oh... Right. It's not socially acceptable."

consider the following:

this is not just an issue of social acceptance of a personal preference.

there are health problems with any self harm. whether "indirectly" through a "vice" such as cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, etc. or directly through physical means, biting, hitting, cutting. The immediate physical self-harm causes more immediate health risks, weakening your immune system, exposing yourself to infections and diseases. repeated and/or prolonged trauma to a central location increases the risk of developing cancer cells that can be introduced to the lymphatic system more rapidly than otherwise normal.

The body's ability to heal itself is a defense/survival system that is similar to any other system. It is designed to handle a specific amount of work under ideal conditions with ideal resources. the way humankind has destroyed our environment (and our genetics) because of the various reasons, we no longer have ideal conditions nor resources. Additionally, each per's body is somewhat unique. Your body may be capable of more healing than someone else's body, and less than others. If your body has an already weakened constitution, you are already at greater risk without any additional stress that self-harm introduces.

Finally, self-harm is a behavior that society considers as a precursor to harming others (whether correct or not) and you subject yourself to the risk of being involuntarily committed to an institution, forfeiting what limited freedom you currently have.

The questions you must consider, if you choose to continue engaging in such behavior is :
a) are you willing to die young and/or painfully from the possible health issues to which you are exposing yourself.

b) are you willing to lose your freedom (including the ability to engage in such behavior) and be confined and/r forcefully medicated for the rest of your life.

many countries are already euthanizing semi-functional people who can be classified as "clinically brain dead" and the u. s. already has avid supporters of euthanizing functional individuals who professionals consider as "incapable of experiencing quality of life" (i. e. quadriplegics, severely mentally handicapped, etc.) while this is currently still illegal, how much longer before economical problems cause law makers to seriously consider it as a less expensive alternative to state funded life long institutional care? and then how much longer before fully functional people with the behavioral disorders that caused them to be involuntarily committed? (the first to be affected, the poor)

Does it sound ludicrous and inconceivable? It has already happened multiple times in history most recently (now the inevitable reference to ww2 nazi regime) in ww2 by the nazi regime (this does not invalidate this thread :p) v)

given the propensity of the wealthy to consider the poor as nothing more than expendable resources, and the poor who are sick or needy as nothing more than financial liabilities to be eliminated, my goal is to remain independent and avoid any taxation to the public assistance systems from my own personal needs. I prefer to live in spite of them all.