THE NTNESS ON THIS FORUM

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auntblabby
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29 Sep 2013, 8:46 pm

Thelibrarian wrote:

What branch were you in? I decided to join the Navy over the Air Force simply because I knew that I wouldn't want to do over four years, and the Navy seemed like a much better way to see the world in that time. And I did. But I realized I too was claustrophobic. My last ship was really bad. It was designed right after WWII to be a frigate. Well, since navy ships have been getting smaller, it was made into a heavy cruiser, which meant it had to accommodate not only twice as many weapons systems, but twice the original crew. It was very cramped, and a nightmare for me, and I spent every free moment hiding (deja vu?) and getting drunk to put it all out of my mind, however briefly.

army, aka "mean green machine." stress mean. I wanted air force but they were only taking people with college degrees at the time at my local recruiting district. in retrospect the airforce woulda booted me out straightaway, I was allowed to be more of an eff-up in the army. and I hear that in today's navy, alcohol is strictly forbidden aboard ship. so there is no escape other than overboard.

ASS-P
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29 Sep 2013, 8:46 pm

...I had thought of the Navy and i still have in my mind (an EXTREMELY UNLIKELY) concept for doing it ~ at least in part !
I told auntblabby about it a long time ago but maybe he's forgotten about it by now .

auntblabby
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29 Sep 2013, 8:49 pm

ASS-P wrote:

now that you mention it I remember you saying such. probably the most civilized service would be the coast guard, as it is run by the department of transportation and not DOD.

Thelibrarian
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29 Sep 2013, 8:51 pm

ASS-P wrote:

If you're 53 years old, it's not going to happen; the Navy wouldn't take you at that age. When I was in, their cutoff was 28, but veterans could get in older with their previous military experience. I'm not sure what it is now, but I can't imagine it extending to people our age.

naturalplastic
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01 Oct 2013, 3:06 pm

cberg wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

I apologize for us being too normal.

We will try to be more abnormal in the future.

Way ahead of you. It's not such a logical leap for me to understand being repelled simply by certain conversational themes, I think atdevel is likely perplexed why NT's ask so many questions and answer so few.

I wish atdevel would speak for himself, and elaborate upon what he meant.

I suspect that he gets picked on, and bullied IRL, and that he feels that the same thing happens to him here. And rightly, or wrongly, he equates bullying with NT-ness.And thats what he is ranting at us about. And, who knows?, maybe we should make him feel more welcome.

But we wont know until he elaborates.

Youll have to elaborate on what you're saying to! All humans ask more questions than they have answers to, and its not obvious why NT=repellent, and that AS= not repellent in conversational themes.

auntblabby
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01 Oct 2013, 4:09 pm

in retrospect i realize my worst bullies had marked AS traits. they could not understand why I was daring to be dissimilar to their perfect selves :roll:

Brye
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01 Oct 2013, 7:26 pm

Toy_Soldier wrote:

Brye wrote:

...If you mean the Haven specifically, how they spout the same ''It's gonna be okay though I have no idea how it will be okay because I have no clue about your situation'' spiel...
Then maybe.

Sorry but you just said the wrong thing. Like with all of your 38 posts you yourself have any idea of what goes on here.

Some give simple encouragement, most try to make constructive suggestions or observations. Some responses are quite long and detailed.

So I feel confident saying you have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to the Haven. Please save your stock Annie musical analogy for a situation it actually applies.

My time of existence for this account and my post count doesn't exclude the fact I had a prior account that I forgot the password to.

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Fnord
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01 Oct 2013, 8:22 pm

Brye wrote:

My time of existence for this account and my post count doesn't exclude the fact I had a prior account that I forgot the password to.

While this may be true, it is not relevant to the topic of this thread.

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Dox47
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01 Oct 2013, 9:42 pm

auntblabby wrote:

in my aspie meetup group there are people that I would guess are lower-functioning than me by dint of their limitations [unemployment history, benefit recipients, et al] and I just treat them the way I would wish to be treated, i.e., I smile and joke with them, atone with them [relate to their problems] and give gentle advice when asked. that is all I can do. I have my own limitations/addlements which puts a crimp in me doing more or better for them. one of them [against my better judgment due to their metabolic problems] I give snacks because it makes that person happy. it is simple things that I do, just listening and being there. one doesn't really need a magic wand.

That's largely how I've tried to approach people as well when doing the meetings, more providing a place for people to hang out and do some socializing than active support, which I really don't know how to do for the most part. It does get awkward for me with the handful to truly LFA people that come to the groups, where I really don't have anything in common and the communications barrier is high enough to make any kind of socializing extremely difficult. What I find harder are the couple of people that come to the groups that I just plain don't like, I mean intellectually I know that I'm not required to like every Aspie I meet, no more than I would like every NT I come across, but I still feel kinda bad about it, especially when I know that they probably aren't trying to be off putting.

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Dox47
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01 Oct 2013, 9:44 pm

Fnord wrote:

While this may be true, it is not relevant to the topic of this thread.

Another poster slammed him for his opinion, then pointed to his low post count and claimed that as evidence that he wasn't familiar with the workings of the Haven, so that other poster did actually make it relevant.

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auntblabby
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01 Oct 2013, 9:46 pm

Dox47 wrote:

keep in mind that birds of a feather flock together. no need to feel too bad about not getting along with everybody under the sun, some folk are simply not compatible and no amount of papering-over is going to fix that. all that can be expected is to "Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none." [ben franklin]

Toy_Soldier
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01 Oct 2013, 10:33 pm

The OP just started an inflamatory thread and left. Wasting people's time. Will some merciful Moderator please put a bullet thru it's head?

Fnord
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01 Oct 2013, 10:53 pm

Dox47 wrote:

Fnord wrote:

While this may be true, it is not relevant to the topic of this thread.

I stand corrected. Thank you.

Dox47
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02 Oct 2013, 3:07 am

auntblabby wrote:

I actually get along fine with most everyone in person, what I'm talking about is more like a guy that comes to the Seattle groups that has terrible hygiene, makes inappropriate interruptions, and has a creepy way of cornering women at the meetings and getting into their personal space. Intellectually, I know he isn't really aware of all these social faux pas and likely can't help it, but that doesn't make me dislike his company any less. It's certainly tough when you're trying to run a group that makes the maximum number of people feel comfortable, I had to 86 a guy years ago that had been coming for a while because of his aggressive behavior towards women, that, again, I'm sure he wasn't really aware of, but wouldn't respond to any attempts to correct. I don't think I had any choice with that one, a member that was making many other members uncomfortable that was unwilling to change, but I still felt kinda bad about it.

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thewhitrbbit
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02 Oct 2013, 10:26 am

If people aren't willing to change, then it's on their head (unless they truly aren't able).

I think a lot of aspies fall victim to it being assumed they know how to change without being told; but if you did him the courtesy of pointing out the problems clearly, and he didn't change, it's on his own head.

LilythMoon
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07 Oct 2013, 8:14 pm

naturalplastic wrote:

I apologize for us being too normal.

We will try to be more abnormal in the future.

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