My mother is an idiot

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or the OP - I am very sorry you are frustrated. It does look like your best option may have to be to watch your shows discreetly so as not to upset your Mother.

You make a fair point there. However, if someone is doing something in private and it doesn't affect the host, then there is no explanation for being so controlling other than that the host is being deliberately obnoxious and has some serious issues with control.

I'm 33, and my Mom still treats me like a young child sometimes. I think many parents always see their kids that way, long after they've grown up...especially mothers. They remember being responsible for you long ago, and some of those feelings will probably never leave them.

Major conflicts can arise when you live in the same house, especially in a culture which equates adulthood and responsibility with a number. I've lost count of how many times people I know have expressed a longing for their children to hit 18, like that's some kind of "magical omen" letting the parents off the hook. I'm not advocating deliberate laziness on the part of anyone, but some of us truly don't comprehend why this form of "independence" is such a good thing.

I've lived on my own at two separate times, and both experiences were depressing beyond words. I don't think my Mom understands, and my AS causes a ton of stress whenever I try explaining it to her.

What the hell? You're 26 and still living at home? Grow up and get a place of your own. I raised my kids the same way my parents raised me--you live at home, then I own the AIR you breathe as long as I'm the one paying the bills and you're the one wearing out the nap on the rug. If you want to watch TV like a grownup, then start paying the electricity bill that powers the TV and the rent for the room it's sitting in. I also disagree about who the "idiot" in this situation is.

@ the OP
I have some advise that might not be the most appreciated. Ask your doctor if s/he thinks you are Bipolar or not. If you have already been diagnosed as such, ask your doctor to check your meds and get them regulated. You go through extremes when posting on here.

and while you cannot control nor regulate your mother, you can control and regulate yourself.

This is just a suggestion given in sincerity. you can get offended and scream troll if you like, but it would not hurt for you to consult your doctor. Given the extremities your posts reflect, it might be enlightening.

*reads the last two posts and gets the popcorn ready*

ojala que no.

Isn't nice to be so big and tough that you can lord it over your own children?

If I'm going to be paying most of my pay a month into rent/mortgage, then I will be as controlling over what I've paid for as I damned well please! And if you don't like it, there's two doors out of my place, take your pick.

My ex's mother wouldn't let us sleep in the same bed under her roof. And I have zero problem with that. Her house, her control.

As a great Australian once said:

"A mans (womans) home is his (her) Castle!"

There is such a thing as kindness and respecting an adult son's freedom to watch whatever he wishes to watch. Unless the mother has a very good reason to be so grumpy with her son, I don't think she's in the right. He is her son after all, not some obnoxious stranger living at her house.

But of course, no one here knows the full story anyway, so there might be a valid reason for such grumpiness.

Either way, OP, do you work by any chance? Try to find a job you could do if you don't. This may be likely to ease thet ension between you two as long as you continue to live in her house.

IMO the kindness was shown when she opened her door to him.

I lived with my parents for two years while I got back on my feet from the break-up. If my parents asked me not to watch something, you bet I didn't watch it! I was (and still am) bloody grateful to my parents for taking me back in when they could have just as easily said "Sorry, already turned your room into a games room", which they would have been 100% within their rights to do. So when in their house, I made sure I was obeying their rules, no matter how ridiculous I thought they were - they paid the mortgage etc after all.

Sure, it sucks not being able to do what you want, but that's the price you pay.

Either way, it makes no sense for her to forbid him from watching a certain anime series when the only reason is because it offends her.

Maybe he can't move out at all for whatever reason, or his mother wants him by her side, but whatever the reason, narcissism is not the way to go about treating one's own child.

While the points in general are worth debating, whether a woman has x amount of control in her home or not when her son is living rent free in her house, whether it is controlling to forbid certain types of shows or activities in the house, etc. These points are not taking all things into consideration.

In general, culture and religious beliefs. Many cultures have specific norms. To choose to adapt to a different culture than your parents is your choice. To force that culture change on your parents is not. If you want to live in their house rent free, then respect their culture and don't try to force Americanized culture on them.

The same with religion. Many religious beliefs honestly feel having certain types of entertainment, i.e. television and/or music in the house invites demons or bad spirits into the house. As an adult that doesn't pay rent it is still your right to watch and listen to what you want, but it is not in your rights to force your divergence of religion upon your parents. Whether the belief is true or not is irrelevant, your parents believe it is true, and that is all that matters. It is your responsibility to respect their beliefs, even if you don't agree with them.

Now to the specifics, I will likely be flamed for this but it is a valid consideration, and if the OP is to ever move on and actually get in person help then it must be considered. After all, this is a support forum, and support, as far as I understand it, has the goal of facilitating help and healing, So I offer this because it must be considered if the OP is to truly advance in life and become a better person
:
the accuracy and validity of the accusations against the "offender". We can simply assume that these are 100% accurate, as has been my tendency in the past, before realizing that this is not always the case in everything I hear or read. But again, going from past experience of reading the OP's many posts, (reaching the 20k mark in less than 1 year), we can see several things.

1) yes, the OP does need as much support as he can get:
which includes seeing things for what they are, as coddling is not really support. There is no reason to be insulting to anyone, but support is not simply coddling, it is realising when there are other issues, and politely suggesting getting valid, in person help with identifying and addressing these other issues. Total support. This OP needs as much real support as can be provided.

2) The op goes posts in extremes. Extremely happy, extremely frustrated. This may lend to exaggeration, which can be suspected within some of the "extremely frustrated" posts that the OP has made. thus the realization that the OP does in fact need REAL support, not just coddling.

3) The OP has in the past accused any questioning or attempts of clarification of relation of seemingly exaggerated details as "trolling"
this suggests that the OP may not be entirely willing to accept REAL support. As such, coddling will only server to further the self destructive behavior.

Once again, I am all for giving as much support as we can, but I believe this includes kindly suggesting a reality check once in a while, and kindly offering suggestions when it is becoming increasingly more evident that there are quite possibly other issues involved that are indeed within the OP's control, such as realizing a secondary condition and dealing with it. I know we cannot dx on here, nor is it proper. But we can see evidence of something and suggest to the person in question that s/he check it out.

That said, given the possibility of a secondary condition being an issue in this posters life, comments and ideas such as "my way or the highway" for the parent are not in the best interest of the poster. If there were no secondary issues, then perhaps, but there appears to be more at play here than just cultural differences, religious differences, etc.

So while the mother may indeed have "ultimate control" in her house, for whatever reason, Telling the OP to grow up and get out is not the best solution, given what the evidence suggests. The OP needs a support structure that is going to facilitate recovery and healing, and being homeless without access to proper medical care will not facilitate this.

Ask her what sort of horrible thing will happen if you watch this. Remind her how parents refused to let their teenagers watch Elvis because he moved his hips when he danced, and how parents wouldn't let kids listen to early rock music because they called it "jungle music". Also, bring up the cult classic film "Reefer Madness" which was taken seriously at the time. Ask her if she really, really thinks you live your life based on tv, and if she says yes, then suggest she restrict all her viewing to cooking shows and Martha Stewart and suggest she could kick up the housekeeping and cooking part a notch or two and that would inspire and basically force her to do so once it seeps into her brain and reprograms it.

Who's "lording it over" anyone? When I was 26 f*****g years old I already had one kid and another one on the way. I was married and working full time and I didn't need anyone's permission to watch a TV show because I OWNED THE f*****g HOUSE, THE TV, AND THE REMOTE CONTROL. My two daughters were out of the house by the time they were 19, my son by 21. That's how it's supposed to work. I signed up to raise CHILDREN. Not elderly adolescents.

So, everyone in the world's circumstances at the age of 26 are the same as yours were? How do you know Equestriola isn't going through issues that make independence an issue? Do you know anything AT ALL about his situation, let alone enough to make judgements like this about him?

If you really think it's morally correct to exert this unnecessary amount of control over someone, then please take a look at yourself and reassess your values. Being an a**hole for the sake of being an a**hole just because you feel entitled to doesn't exactly sound like something a good person would do, does it?

I'm reporting you because you're breaking site rules by flaming the OP of a support thread.