Any good long-term AS/NT marriage stories?

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12 years and counting. The comments above have covered most of it, but the trick is to keep talking, keep trying, and understand that sometimes you will just not understand each other.

We have conversations where we look at each other and just shake our heads in despair, because we are so far apart that we can't even grasp what the other person is trying to explain.

For example:
Me trying to explain how I can have a meltdown at the supermarket because there are too many bananas to choose from (ok, it's the whole supermarket, but for some reason I always lose it at the bananas). Explaining sensory overload to an NT is like trying to explain colour to a blind person.
Me trying to explain why even though I like his parents, he caught me hiding behind the curtain once when they drove up, because I just couldn't manage to speak to them that day.
Him trying to explain why we have to socialise with people I don't like, and spend time doing things I don't want to.

The longer we are together the more we understand our differences, and at least how to work around a lot of them, or be forewarned when a potential issue is coming up.

The first ten years were the hardest, as I didn't have a diagnosis and sometimes I think we both suspected I was just insane. Now I have a much better understanding of what sets me off and why, and he is much more careful to give me warning of things in advance, and explain social stuff to me before we go in.

As long as you have enough in common to start with, and are determined to make it work, you can find ways around most of the issues.

I'm pretty sure my dad and mom were AS and NT, and they stayed together until my mom died, managing to support two kids in the process. Mom was a very devoted and obedient wife, extremely self-sacrificing when it involved their marriage. I'm pretty sure she was the super-shy, quiet, anxious type of NT. My mom stuck with my dad through everything, even though her friends told her to dump him every chance they got.

I have had the opportunity to learn about a lot of similar marriages, and all I can say is they had a very strong bond of emotional love, or the NT partner was some kind of masochist, which, it turns out, is totally healthy(?) and quite common among NT's, and means that the NT partner is NOT TO BE PITIED.

Just from looking at my parents relationship, my advice to AS men is try to find a very hearty and tough partner who is devoted to family.

For NT partners, try to understand that it can be very frustrating trying to do better at something and never improving. I'm certainly not satisfied that I can't take care of myself fully, even though I can't do better through experience alone. I'm still working to get proper independent living training. It is possible to improve, but it probably won't simply happen over time.